Cross-Sex Friendships

1. Cross-Sex Friendships By: Jessica Horak, Linda Silva, Cindy Moore, Diovani Rezende, Robin Manza & Sylvie Tajong

2. Cross-Sex Friendship Intro • People enjoy having cross-sex friendships, but we don't understand them the way we understand same-sex friendships • There is conflicting evidence about cross-sex friendships • Cross-sex friendship is more complex than same-sex friendship • People have to follow stricter guidelines in order for friendship to be successful

3. Theories • Cross-sex friendship is a relatively new phenomenon • Social role theory states men and women behave in ways that are expected by society, in accordance with their gender role • Evolutionary theory states men and women have developed gendered behaviors over time for survival • There are few models of platonic friendship between males and females in our culture

4. Cross-Sex Friendship Benefits • Better understanding of the opposite sex • Protection • Emotional Support • Self expression • Romantic relationship

5. Cross-Sex Friendship Obstacles • Defining the relationship • Sexual Attraction/Tension • Equality Challenge • Audience Challenge/Jealousy • Opportunity Challenge • Friendship can end

6. FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS (FWB) • FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS (FWB) • The convenient factor • Sex with no strings attached • Clarity of the “rules” • Keep it discreet • No “REAL” romance needed

7. FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS (FWB) • Clingy people do not needed to apply • Respect yourself • FWB = Disorganize Relationship”

8. Social Role Theory of FWB • The social role theory influence • Women and non-verbal behaviors

9. Cross-Sex Friendships • Can men an women really just be friends? • Science says men and women can’t be (just) friends. • Society says…

10. Cross-Sex Friendships • Evolutionary theorists/ Attraction in friendship • Some truth about friendship • Men benefit more from cross-sex friendship • But women benefit, too

11. Cross-Sex Friendship in the Workplace • Be up front about your intentions. • Do not mistake a connection for romantic interest. • Do not give up on work friendships due to fear.

12. Cross-Sex Friendship in the Workplace Becoming a Problem • Sharing personal information • Disappointment when the person is out • Creating opportunities to be alone with your friend during the workday • Physical attraction to the person • Thinking about them when you’re not at work

13. Cross-Sex Friendship-Jealousy • Negative jealousy emotion is an effect state which could be psychologically stressful especially for females. A negative emotion is the reaction to our interpersonal tensions. • A negative emotion will always arises from two partners which will then become jealousy expression which will also leads to untruthful relationships, invading privacy, anxiety, worry, upset, discomfort, fear of loosing one another, anger, sadness, insecurity, envy and guilt which will all build as time goes by. • When one partner in a relationship expresses or shows a sense of jealousy, it will become uncomfortable event about which the individual will consciously thinking directly towards an extending period of time.

14. Jealousy-cont. • positive discussions of jealousy between cross-sex friends can provide a particularly useful resource in the ongoing construction of romantic relational identities and a romantic bond. • Cross sex friends may have an intense negative emotional reaction because they are not used to direct jealousy expression. • Dating partners might possess strong negative jealousy-related emotion because of a rival threatens their bonded relationship. • Communications and negative effects expressions are both related positively to emotional jealousy which will leads to more intense and breaking up might be a solution for them both. • jealousy is negotiated in all close partnerships and understanding reactions to partner jealousy expression could increase constructive communication by reducing the competitiveness, aggressive communication and violence that can accompany jealousy expression, Because one’s own jealousy involves emotional feelings.

15. References • Cheung, S., & McBride-Chang, C. (2011). Relations of gender, gender-related personality characteristics, and dating status to adolescents’ cross-sex friendship quality. Sex Roles, 64(1-2), 59-69. doi:10.1007/s11199-010-9880-5 (slides 2 & 3) • Felmlee, D., Sweet, E., & Sinclair, H. C. (2012). Gender rules: Same- and cross-gender friendships norms. Sex roles, 66(7-8), 518-529. doi:10.1007/s11199-011-0109-z (slides 2 & 3) • Fuhrman, R. W., Flannagan, D., & Matamoros, M. (2009). Behavior expectations in cross-sex friendships, same-sex friendships, and romantic relationships. Personal Relationships, 16(4), 575-595. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.2009.01240.x (slides 2 & 3) • http://www.scienceofrelationships.com/home/2011/10/12/sexual-strategies-in-cross-sexfriendships. (slides 2 & 3) • http://www.girlsaskguys.com/Articles/Relationships/Cross-gender-friendship-between-single-men-women.html (slides 4 & 5) • Lenton, A. P., & Webber, L. (2006). Cross-sex friendships: Who has more?. Sex Roles, 54(11-12), 809-820. ( slides 4, 5, 9 & 10)

16. References cont. • http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-the-name-love/201109/friends-benefits (slides 6,7,8) • http://www.psychologytoday.com/search/query?keys=friends+with+benefits&x=0&y=0 (slides 6,7,8) • Helgeson, V.S.(2012) Psychology of Gender. Upper Saddle River, NJ, Pearson Education Inc. (slides 6,7,8) • Recheck, A. B., Somers, E., Micke, C., Erickson, L., Matteson, L., Stocco, C., Schmacker, B., Richie, L. (2012). Benefit or burden? Attraction in cross-sex friendship. Journal Od Social And Personal Relationships, 29(5), 569-596. (slides 9 & 10 ) • http://marriagemissions.com/keep-your-opposite-sex-friendship-at-work-from-going-too-far (slides 11 & 12) • http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/i-can-relate/201301/awkward-workplace-friendships (slides 11 & 12) • Yoshimura, S. M. (2004). Emotional and behavioral responses to romantic jealousy expressions. (slides 13 & 14) • Communication Reports (slides 13 & 14)