Revising Writing for Improved Organization of Ideas within Paragraphs

1. Learning Objective Name __________________________ Today, we will revise writing to improve organization1 of ideas within paragraphs. 1 the way different parts work together CFU What are we going to do today? What are we going to revise? What does organization mean? Activate (or provide) Prior Knowledge Today, we will revise writing to improve organization of ideas within paragraphs. We will revise writing to improve organization of ideas within paragraphs. Organization means the way different parts work together. • When you write a composition, it has three main parts: • Introduction – introduces the topic and main points to cover • Body – gives additional details about topic and main points • Conclusion – wraps up or summarizes the ideas • Here are three passages. Which order is best for a composition? • 1. Which passage is best for the Introduction? • 2. Which passage is best for the Body? • 3. Which passage is best for the Conclusion? C A B CFU Teacher completes #1; students complete #2 & #3. Students, you know how to organize a composition into three main parts. That organization can be improved by revising it. Today, we will revise writing to improve the organization of ideas within paragraphs. 6th Grade Writing Strategies 1.6 (7Q) Revise writing to improve the organization and consistency of ideas within and between paragraphs. Lesson to be used by EDI-trained teachers only.

2. Concept Development • To revise writing means to change the text to organize your ideas more clearly. • Revise paragraphs so the ideas move from general (main idea) to specific (details). • Revise details so they all relate to the main idea of the paragraph. • Revise by adding or deleting sentences. 2. Does every sentence in paragraph 1 relate to the main idea? Yes, they are all about practicing. Example: 1. What is the main idea (most general point) of paragraph 1? Sentence 1 is, so we circle it. 4. Does every sentence in paragraph 2 relate to the main idea? Sentence 7 does not, so we delete it. 3. What is the main idea of paragraph 2? Sentence 4 is, so we circle it. 6. Does every sentence in paragraph 3 relate to the main idea? Sentence 11 does not, so we delete it. 5. What is the main idea of paragraph 3? Sentence 9 is, so we circle it. 7. Can we add sentence X to paragraph 1? Yes, we can because it talks about the main idea of practicing. 8. Can we add sentence Y to Paragraph 3? Yes, we can because it relates to the main idea that a lot of skills are needed, not just shooting. CFU In your own words, what does it mean to revise writing? What is one way to revise writing? How do you know that a sentence in a paragraph should be added or removed? Which is a good detail to add under a main idea of “Pets are good for kids.” a. Kids learn to be responsible by taking care of a pet. b. Labradors have short fur. Adapted fromhttp://www.breakthroughbasketball.com 6th Grade Writing Strategies 1.6 (7Q) Revise writing to improve the organization and consistency of ideas within and between paragraphs. Lesson to be used by EDI-trained teachers only.

3. Importance • To revise writing means to change the text to organize your ideas more clearly. • Revise paragraphs so the ideas move from general (main idea) to specific (details). • Revise details so they all relate to the main idea of the paragraph. • Revise by adding or deleting sentences. • It is important to revise writing to improve the organization of ideas within paragraphs because it helps you to: • 1. stay on topic so the reader can follow your ideas. 2. do well on the CST. CFU Does anyone else have another reason why it is important to revise writing to improve the organization of ideas within paragraphs? (pair-share) Why is it important to revise writing to improve the organization of ideas within paragraphs? You may give me one of my reasons or one of your own. Which reason is most important to you? Why? 6th Grade Writing Strategies 1.6 (7Q) Revise writing to improve the organization and consistency of ideas within and between paragraphs. Lesson to be used by EDI-trained teachers only.

4. Skill Development/Guided Practice • To revise writing means to change the text to organize your ideas more clearly. • Revise paragraphs so the ideas move from general (main idea) to specific (details). • Revise details so they all relate to the main idea of the paragraph. • Revise by adding or deleting sentences. • Revise writing to improve organization of ideas within paragraphs. • Step #1: Read the passage. • a. Circle the main idea in each paragraph. • b. Underline any detail that does not relate to each main idea. • Step #2: Answer the questions. Hint: Refer to your circling and underlining for help. Presidents’ Wives 1. Americans have always been interested in their presidents' wives. 2. Many first ladies have been remembered because of the ways they have influenced their husbands. 3. Other first ladies have made the history books on their own. 4. A first lady always has to be concerned about fashion.5. Their influence took many forms throughout the years. 6. Lady Bird Johnson made it her business to send signals during her husband’s speeches. 7. When Lady Bird Johnson thought her husband was talking too long, she wrote a note and sent it up to the platform. 8. It read, “It's time to stop!” 9. And he did. 10. When Eliza Johnson married Andrew, our 17th president, he could not read or write. 11. So she taught him herself. 12. One of the most famous First Ladies was Eleanor Roosevelt, the wife of President Franklin D. Roosevelt. 13. She was active in political and social causes throughout her husband's tenure2 in office. 14. Thomas Jefferson’s daughter Martha served as his first lady.15. Being the wife of the president has become an important government duty. 16. In fact, many of the ladies who held this position exercised a strong influence not only on their husband but also on the country. 17. First ladies today have realized the importance of their role and promote specific issues. 207 words 2length of time in office CFU How did I know what to circle? How did I know what to underline? How did I answer the questions? How did you know what to circle? How did you know what to underline? How did you answer the questions? 6th Grade Writing Strategies 1.6 (7Q) Revise writing to improve the organization and consistency of ideas within and between paragraphs. Lesson to be used by EDI-trained teachers only.

5. Closure • In your own words, what does it mean to revise writing? • What did you learn today about revising writing to improve organization of ideas within paragraphs? Why is that important to you? (pair-share) • Revise writing to improve organization of ideas within paragraphs below. • Step #1: Read the passage. • a. Circle the main idea in each paragraph. • b. Underline any detail that does not relate to each main idea. • Step #2: Answer the questions. Hint: Refer to your circling and underlining for help. Adapted from article by Mary Bellis at http://inventors.about.com/od/tstartinventions/a/Toy_Inventions_2.htm • 1. Which sentence would be best to add after sentence 8? • Popular video games include Pac-Man, Zelda, Mario, and Fable. • Video games are too electronic to be considered a toy. • Some people say Xbox is the best system. • Video games are too expensive to be a toy. 6th Grade Writing Strategies 1.6 (7Q) Revise writing to improve the organization and consistency of ideas within and between paragraphs. Lesson to be used by EDI-trained teachers only.

6. Independent Practice • To revise writing means to change the text to organize your ideas more clearly. • Revise paragraphs so the ideas move from general (main idea) to specific (details). • Revise details so they all relate to the main idea of the paragraph. • Revise by adding or deleting sentences. • Revise writing to improve organization of ideas within paragraphs. • Step #1: Read the passage. • a. Circle the main idea in each paragraph. • b. Underline any detail that does not relate to each main idea. • Step #2: Answer the questions. Hint: Refer to your circling and underlining for help. History of Roller Skating1. Roller skating has only been available in the last 300 years. 2. It started in the early 1700s in Holland when an unknown Dutchman decided to go “ice skating” in the summer. 3. He nailed wooden spools to strips of wood and attached them to his shoes. 4. In 1760, a London inventor, Joseph Merlin, attended a party wearing one of his new inventions, metal-wheeled boots. 5. He tried to make a grand entrance by rolling in while playing the violin. 6. But he couldn’t stop and crashed into the mirrored wall. 7. Modern skating, however, developed in America. 8. In 1863, American James Plimpton made a skate with two parallel sets of wheels. 9. This design allowed skaters to move in a smooth curve, to turn easily, and to skate backwards. 10. In 1979, the Olson brothers invented in-line skates. 11. They put the wheels all in a line and used modern materials. 12. This became what we know as roller blades. 13. In-line skates were banned from roller derbies. 14. In 1993, Bert Lovitt and Warren Winslow invented a skate that can go on all types of surfaces. 15. It uses 2 large, side-mounted, out-of-line angled wheels. 16. More skaters are trying these Landrollers because they are safer and more fun. 17. Today, roller skating has become popular for fitness programs, for athletes on teams, and for kids. 18. It’s fun to move faster than walking, and skaters can do tricks as well. 19. My favorite trick is a one-wheel spin. 20. Putting wheels on our feet, a novel idea back in the 1700s, is now an exciting, high-tech way to get around and enjoy life. 259 wordsAdapted from http://www.landroller.com/history-of-roller-skates.htm 6th Grade Writing Strategies 1.6 (7Q) Revise writing to improve the organization and consistency of ideas within and between paragraphs. Lesson to be used by EDI-trained teachers only.

7. Periodic Review 1 • To revise writing means to change the text to organize your ideas more clearly. • Revise paragraphs so the ideas move from general (main idea) to specific (details). • Revise details so they all relate to the main idea of the paragraph. • Revise by adding or deleting sentences. • Revise writing to improve organization of ideas within paragraphs. • Step #1: Read the passage. • a. Circle the main idea in each paragraph. • b. Underline any detail that does not relate to each main idea. • Step #2: Answer the questions. Hint: Refer to your circling and underlining for help. The Hula Hoop1. The hula hoop is an ancient invention. 2. No modern company and no single inventor can claim that they invented the first hula hoop. 3. The Greeks used hooping as a form of exercise. 4. However, it still didn’t help them lose weight. 5. Older hoops were made from metal, bamboo, wood, grasses, and even vines. 6. In the early 1800s, British sailors first witnessed hula dancing in the Hawaiian Islands. 7. Hula dancing and hooping look similar and the name "hula hoop" came together. 8. However, modern companies "re-invented" the hula hoop using new materials. 9. Also, plastic hula hoops have been made with bits of glitter and noise makers. 10. The hula hoop became popular in America in 1958. 11. The Wham-O company sold twenty million hula hoops for $1.98 in the first six months. 12. Wham-O was founded by Richard Knerr and Arthur "Spud" Melin. 13. Today, many people are setting world records with hula hoops. 14. On June 4, 2005, Australian Kareena Oates set a record for hula hooping -- spinning 100 hoops at one time for three full revolutions. 15. The world record for the largest hula hoop (by circumference) spun was set by American Ashrita Furman at 51.5 feet on June 1, 2007. Adapted from an article by Mary Bellis at http://inventors.about.com/od/hstartinventions/a/Hula_Hoop.htm175 words 6th Grade Writing Strategies 1.6 (7Q) Revise writing to improve the organization and consistency of ideas within and between paragraphs. Lesson to be used by EDI-trained teachers only.

8. Periodic Review 2 • To revise writing means to change the text to organize your ideas more clearly. • Revise paragraphs so the ideas move from general (main idea) to specific (details). • Revise details so they all relate to the main idea of the paragraph. • Revise by adding or deleting sentences. • Revise writing to improve organization of ideas within paragraphs. • Step #1: Read the passage. • a. Circle the main idea in each paragraph. • b. Underline any detail that does not relate to each main idea. • Step #2: Answer the questions. Hint: Refer to your circling and underlining for help. History of Writing Tools 1. Writing has advanced quite a bit since the early cavemen wrote on cave walls with a sharpened stone. 2. From that rough beginning, mankind developed the alphabet, different kinds of paper, and a variety of inks. 3. But the writing tool took some time to improve. 4. For nearly a thousand years, the quill pen (made of a bird feather) was the main writing tool. 5. It had to be dipped into ink regularly and only lasted about a week. 6. Goose feathers were the most common. 7. In the 1800s, inventors tried to make a holder for ink inside the pen to reduce dipping and avoid splatters. 8. This led to the development of the fountain pen. 9. Fountain pens are still used today. 10. These pens were popular until the first ballpoint pen was invented by a newspaper reporter from Hungary named Laszlo Biro in 1938. 11. He put a small ball bearing in the tip of the pen. 12. This ball rotated as the pen moved, picking up ink and leaving it on the paper. 13. Today, the modern version of Biro's pen has sales of 14 million pens a day. 14. Some black ballpoint pens produce more than 28,000 linear feet of writing -- more than five miles, before running out of ink. 15. How would you like to test that? 16. We’ve come a long way from sharp stones on cave walls! Adapted from an article by Mary Bellis at http://inventors.about.com/library/inventors/blpen.htm 221 words 6th Grade Writing Strategies 1.6 (7Q) Revise writing to improve the organization and consistency of ideas within and between paragraphs. Lesson to be used by EDI-trained teachers only.

9. Periodic Review 3 • To revise writing means to change the text to organize your ideas more clearly. • Revise paragraphs so the ideas move from general (main idea) to specific (details). • Revise details so they all relate to the main idea of the paragraph. • Revise by adding or deleting sentences. • Revise writing to improve organization of ideas within paragraphs. Step #1: Read the passage. a. Circle the main idea in each paragraph. b. Underline any detail that does not relate to each main idea. Step #2: Answer the questions. Hint: Refer to your circling and underlining for help. The Story of Shoes 1. Shoes were needed when early man moved from warm climates into colder regions. 2. Then, feet needed protection from the environment. 3. Usually animal skins were used for the soles and tied with thin strips of leather. 4. However, about 1600-1200 BCE, a type of soft shoe was worn by the mountain people who lived on the border of Iran. 5. It was made of wraparound leather, similar to a moccasin. 6. The most common footwear in history, however, has been sandals, which consists of a hard sole attached to the foot with laces. 7. In the Middle Ages, footwear was actually a symbol of your rank in society. 8. The upper class wore long pointed shoes, while the working class had to have shorter toes. 9. High heels came into fashion for both men and women. 10. The higher your shoes, the more important you were. 11. Modern shoes are made by sewing together the soles to the uppers (made of leather, canvas, cotton, etc.). 12. Shoes were commonly fastened with buckles. 13. The Pilgrims had buckles on their shoes. 14. The modern shoestring (string and shoe holes) was first invented in England in 1790. 15. Eventually, rubber was discovered and used for soles to develop the popular sneakers. 16. The first rubber-soled shoes were made in the United States in the late 1800s. 17. By 1917, Keds shoes were the first canvas-top sneakers. 18. They were called sneakers because the rubber sole made the shoe very quiet as you walked. 19. Today, several companies make rubber-soled sneakers. 20. There are dance sneakers, casual sneakers, and athletic sneakers for both men and women. 21. Air Jordans are the best. 22. There are cute designs and dazzling colors. 23. Both young and old people now see sneakers as fashionable. 24. Of course, sandals, boots, and regular shoes are still worn today. 25. But sneakers now rival sandals as the most common shoe in the world.307 words Adapted from http://inventors.about.com/od/sstartinventions/a/Shoes.htm 6th Grade Writing Strategies 1.6 (7Q) Revise writing to improve the organization and consistency of ideas within and between paragraphs. Lesson to be used by EDI-trained teachers only.

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