Relationships Smarts The Keys You Need!

1. Relationships Smarts The Keys You Need! Arlene L. Connelly, Director of Youth Services OIC of Broward County

2. Relationships Relationships are important in every area of your life

3. Foundation for Good Communication • Good communication- Effective, honest communication requires three things: • A willingness on both parts to share honest information • More listening than talking • Empathy - putting yourself in the other person's shoes

4. Effective Communication Skills STOP • Learn the 4 communication danger signs • Escalation • Put-downs • Avoidance/Withdrawal • Negative Interpretations • Learn to take time outs • Use good listening techniques • Consider the real reasons for the disagreements • Discuss problems • Agree to disagree LOOK LISTEN

5. Maturity Issues and What I Value • Commitment & Trust- “Can I trust?” • Feelings about friendships “like or don’t like” • Common Interests “Time together?” • Communication- “great or not so great” • One-sided relationship • Sex • Chemistry-Friendship-Trust & Commitment

6. Baggage “Good & Bad” Family experiences play an important part in our every day relationships Communication Discipline Does the family eat together? Is there any? Are responsibilities given & expected? Is there a moral or spiritual belief system? • How do parents communicate? • How does your family communicate? • When there’s a problem- How is it handled?

7. Rulesfor the Listener Rules for the Speaker • Speak for yourself! Don’t put words in the other person’s mouth! • Don’t play games. Speak what you know! • To avoid misunderstandings, let the listener summarize what you said. • Repeat or reword what the speaker said. • Don’t interrupt the speaker. Let the speaker feel like they have the stage. Rules for Both • The stage belongs to whoever is speaking. • The listener shows respect for the speaker any rewords what they hears, for clarity. • Remember a conversation is between two people. No monologues!

8. Principles of Smart Relationships • Have fun interaction • Know & exercise your boundaries • Learn about the other person • Be supportive • Be respectful • Discuss your future plans • Think about the consequences of your actions

9. Who Am I And Where Am I Going? I Am… My Goals, Desires… What kinds of jobs can I imagine for myself What level of education/training do I want to achieve Identify three things that I am doing now and/or can do in the near future to put myself on the path of “true self” • Explore who you are now in – What are your talents, interest and abilities • Who are you as a person, as a family member, as a friend

10. The Success SequenceEducation, Marriage, Family/Baby Education & Training is key: Finish high school, or better still get a college degree/trade school Wait until your twenties to marry Have children after you marry

11. What Are The 7 Principles of A Smart Relationship? • Seek a good match-common interests • Values are important-pay attention • Don’t try to change someone into someone they are not • Don’t change yourself to get someone’s attention, love or friendship • Expect good communication • Don’t play games, be fake or phony • Expect and give RESPECT