Conflict Styles

1. Conflict Styles • Conflict styles are the predominant ways that people deal with conflict. • Most people rely on one or two styles that are often defined by emphasis on concern for the self or concern for the other. • The goal of an effective conflict manager is to be able to use any conflict style when the situation demands.

2. Assumptions about Styles • People develop styles based on past experience • People have reasons for the styles they use • Styles can undergo change • No one style is automatically better than another

3. Thomas and Kilmann’s styles • Two key dimensions • Concern for the self (assertiveness) • Concern for the other (cooperativeness) • The styles are defined by the combinations of dimensions (whether hi, moderate or low on certain dimensions) • The styles are defined as pure types

4. Thomas and Kilmann’s styles Competing Collaborating Concern For Self Compromising Accommodating Avoiding Concern for Other

5. Verbal Description of Styles • Avoiding: low on protecting your interests and theirs. Avoidance can be either physical and/or psychological • Accommodating: meeting the needs of the other person but ignoring your own needs. “giving in” to the desires of the other • Conceding – a firmer version in which you strategically accommodate to build relationship • Yielding – a weaker version in which you allow the other party to control the situation and define the conflict

6. Verbal Description of Styles • Competing: generally thought of as a win-lose orientation in which you try to maximize your gains • Forcing – trying to get others to go along with you by exerting power over them • Contending – a “softer form of competing” in that you are somewhat flexible about your position while considering only your own goals

7. Verbal Description of Styles • Compromising: involves a moderate protection of your needs as well as theirs. Also assumes there are fixed resources • Collaborating: When you are interested in maximizing your own gains as well as the other’s. Problem-solving style in which the parties work together against the problem.

8. Selecting Conflict Styles • Five key diagnostic questions • How important are the issues to you? • How important are the issues to the other? • How important is it to maintain a positive relationship? • How much time pressure is there? • To what extent does one party trust the other?

9. When Each Style is the Best • Avoiding • When the issue is trivial to you • When there is no long-term relationship • When you are the low power party in a serious power imbalance • Competing • When the other will be very competitive • When important others expect you to compete • AND when the stakes are high

10. When Each Style is the Best • Accommodating • When the issue is trivial to you • When harmony in the relationship is all important • When you are the low power party in a serious power imbalance • When you want to build trust in the other by demonstrating a protection of their interests • Compromising • When there are truly finite resources • When there are no means to increase the divisible resources

11. When Each Style is the Best • Collaborating • When the issue is complex and requires creativity • When there is a long-term relationship • When their implementation of the decision is necessary