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Understanding Marriage Through the Story of Jacob and Rachel: Insights from the Bible

This chapter explores the dynamics of Jacob and Rachel's marriage, drawing lessons from the biblical narrative. It emphasizes the importance of accurately understanding your spouse's reactions, prioritizing your marital relationship, and engaging in self-evaluation. It highlights God's covenant promises and the significance of mutual respect and love, even amid challenges like jealousy and disappointment. By reflecting on these themes, the chapter encourages couples to address their own discontentment and seek a deeper connection with each other through faith and prayer.

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Understanding Marriage Through the Story of Jacob and Rachel: Insights from the Bible

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  1. Marriage and the Bible Based on the Living in Love Series by Richard L. Strauss, Biblical Studies Foundation - 1998

  2. Right Moves, Wrong Motives Chapter 4: Jacob and Rachel

  3. Ground Rules • Accurately simulate your spouse’s reaction to what you say before you say it. • Use this series as an opportunity for self-evaluation first. This is not an inventory of everything your spouse is doing wrong. • Be prepared to talk through the functioning of your marriage with God, your spouse, and godly counsel if needed.

  4. Recap So Far… • Adam and Eve had a perfect marriage in the garden, marred by sin, regained by us through Jesus Christ. • The Bible is clear about the functional structure of a godly marriage. • Your spouse is your highest earthly relational priority.

  5. One Player = Always Faithful • Genesis 28:10-20 • God repeats the covenant promise to Jacob • Jacob will be the father of a great nation • God will provide Jacob with everything he needs • Jacob Reciprocates • “then The LORD will be my God” (v.21) • Is it possible for Jacob to have a strong relationship with God, but not his (future) wife?

  6. Lust…er…Love at First Sight • Genesis 29:1-13 • Jacob finds the land and family of his mother’s brother • A well is apparently a popular place to find a spouse • What do you discern about Jacob’s opinion of Rachel’s looks based on his actions?

  7. Superficial Appreciation • Genesis 29:17 • What attributes are we given of Leah and Rachel? • How long did Jacob know Rachel before he declared his love for her and agreed to work seven years of unpaid labor to get her? • What is your evaluation of Jacob’s appreciation for Rachel before and after his years of service? • Genesis 29:21 – Probably not Hallmark material.

  8. The ‘Ol Switcharoo • Laban “unloads” his eldest daughter on Jacob, probably greedy for more free labor. • Jacob = Not Happy • Where do you think Leah’s heart is in all this? • In comparison to his father, what is ironic about what just happened to Jacob?

  9. All is Made Right, Right? • By Genesis 29:28-30, everything is a-okay, right? • What do you see of Leah’s marital experience in verses 31-34? • What is significant about verse 35? • Jacob’s preferences aside, God’s promise clearly seems to rest on his marriage to Leah.

  10. Rachel’s Chance to Shine… • Not an idyllic marriage (Genesis 30) • Rachel is barren. • Rachel is jealous. • Rachel gives an ultimatum. • Jacob becomes angry with Rachel. • Rachel repeats Jacob’s grandmother’s mistakes. • What appears to be Rachel’s motivation as she names her sons?

  11. Monogamy Affirmed! • God’s Plan = 1 man + 1 woman • Competition in childbirth spirals both Rachel and Leah into a destructive and “short-circuited” pursuit to furnish Jacob with sons. • Jacob seems plenty willing to go along with the plan’s twists and turns.

  12. How to Tell You’ve Hit Bottom • Genesis 30:14-22 • Rachel continues to show superficial qualities • We’re fighting over “love apples?” • Jacob steps in and straightens…what? Never mind. He’s “hired out” … for love apples! • Although mandrakes were thought to open the womb, God is THE provider. • “God listened.” “God remembered.” What do you make of God’s blessing in the midst of all this?

  13. A Little More Dysfunction • Laban deals shrewdly with Jacob, but Jacob ends up with abundant, strong livestock. • Rachel steals her father’s idols, presumably to secure a greater inheritance for her family. • Jacob lies to Laban about running away. • Rachel lies to her father about stealing his idols.

  14. A Discontent’s End • Genesis 31:32 • Jacob pronounces death to anyone possessing Laban’s gods. • Genesis 35 • Rachel names her prior child Joseph “May The LORD add to me another son.” • 30:1 “Give me children, or I’ll die!” • Indeed, Rachel dies in childbirth delivering Benjamin.

  15. A Discontent’s End • Rachel is buried along the side of the road, alone. • Jacob mourns for her, through genuine love, but is ultimately buried with his family and wife Leah. (Genesis 49:29-31)

  16. Application • Do you get a Ferrari by combining the engine of an Edsel and the body of a Pinto? • Marriages do not necessarily make husbands and wives great. Not understanding or dealing with each other’s strengths and weaknesses adds to the burden of a successful relationship.

  17. Application • Discontentment and dissatisfaction are sins and the root of still more sins. • Are either prevalent or evident in your life? • Do you harbor discontentment toward your spouse? • Do you show contentment toward your spouse?

  18. Application • Contentment is an INPUT, not an OUTPUT • 1 Timothy 6:6-9 • Philippians 4:11 • How do you do that? • Psalm 107:8-9

  19. Challenge • Make a choice today to seek prayerful time with God to reveal areas of discontentment in your life. (Many of them are going to be hiding in plain sight!) • Make a choice to cast your discontentment at Jesus’ feet, repenting of your sin and thanking Him for what you DO have. • Show your spouse the fruits of CONTENTMENT

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