Between Shades of Gray

1. Between Shades of Gray Timeline

2. June 14, 1941 • The NVKD rush into our Kaunas house and take mom, Jonas, and me. They throw us into a truck and leave before I pack everything I should have. As we are thrown in, I recognize many others. We’re all on “the list.” We have to wait four hours at a hospital for a woman to have her baby. When the baby is born, they’re immediately thrown in the truck. Kaunas, Lithuania

3. June 15 – July 26, 1941 • We are in the train car with 46 people for six weeks. After the first day, I meet Andrius and him, Jonas, and I sneak out and find Papa in another car. Andrius goes looking but shows back up with a black eye. • One day later, the train cars with the men are separated from the ones with women and children. • There’s very little to eat and we try to ration what we can. Mother bribes a guard to let her out at Omsk about 30 days into our trip. She brings back candies and cigarettes. It’s like a feast for us. Sad. • Ona’s baby dies after eight days on the trip.

4. July 26, 1941 • Six weeks in, the train finally stops. I haven’t eaten in three days, some people even longer. As we get out, we’re thrown into groups. Mother can translate their Russian to understand we’re being sold to work. Our group is taken last. We’re forced to shower in groups after driven miles to this desolate wooden building. After we get out, we’re back in the trucks. Ona can’t control her grieving. One soldier pulls her out of the truck and Ona attacks him. He throws her to the ground and shoots her.

5. July 26, 1941 (later) • We arrive at our destination, a small shanty town in the Altai region of Russia. Each family is forced to live in one of the shacks, whether it’s already occupied or not. We have to live with a bitter old woman in a 10x12 foot shack, barely enough room for her, let alone all four of us. The woman makes us pay “rent,” or whatever we have to offer to her to stay there, even though we had no choice. There is no sink, table, or bed. Mom’s demeanor, consistently high through all of this, has us start cleaning and trying to make ourselves at home.

6. Fall – winter 1941 • We’re in a labor camp. At first, I’m required to dig long, deep ditches and not really given a reason why. Then sent into the beet and potato fields. We try to steal what we can but know the punishment is horrendous if we get caught. Jonas is making shoes. He’s getting really good and makes some for us too. His Russian is coming along a lot faster than mine. • Every other night, the NVKD wakes us up and tries to make us sign a contract making it so we are under their service for 25 years. We can’t let this happen! They cannot break our spirit! • I keep seeing Mother talk to Kretzsky. I don’t like it…

7. Christmas Eve, 1941 • I didn’t know if Jonas would make it to Christmas. He came down with scurvy because he’s been malnourished. The 30 grams of bread we get a day isn’t enough. Andrius had come with a can of tomatoes. He was able to get it because his mom works in the NKVD offices. But she has to sleep with the men to keep Andrius alive. I wish I knew what to say to him. • We celebrated Christmas at the bald man’s shack. Everyone had saved a little bit of their ration to celebrate. The bald man even had chocolate! Andrius and his mother showed up with a bottle of vodka.

8. March 22, 1942 • My 16th birthday! I thought Mother had forgot! But they surprised me after I got my bread ration. • I was worried I wouldn’t make it this far. Twice, I’ve had to go to the NKVD offices. Once to draw a map, the other to draw a portrait of the commander. The desire to draw snakes out of his collar was almost too much… • Andriusgave me the best present of all, Dombey and Son by Charles Dickens. It’s in Russian, so I have another reason to learn. It was such a great gift, I couldn’t help it. I kissed him.

9. April – may 1942 • Word has gotten around camp that there’s another list being made. Mother, Jonas, and I are on the list. It looks like we’re going to be leaving. Nobody knows where. Some are hopeful. Others are more scared. I’m sad to be leaving Andrius. • Sure enough, they rushed in before sunrise and made us pack and leave. We got on another train which headed us to Makarov. The NKVD is feeding us more. Jonas says it’s to get us stronger for work. We’re able to shower too, but we’re shoved back into trucks and we’re now at the Angara River. I don’t like that we’re closer and closer to Siberia. But if it’s closer to Papa, I can’t help but think I’ll see him soon.

10. September 1942 • After weeks on the barge, they leave us in Trofimovsk,as far up the Arctic Circle as can be. They made us make a bakery and barracks for them from the materials in the barge. We had to make our own housing with whatever we could find in the area. We’re packed dozens into each little hut. Jonas was able to find a barrel we can use as a stove, but many don’t have heat. There’s no way we can survive the winter without heat. • The Americans arrived one day with supplies, but the NKVD made us hide. Why wouldn’t they want them to see us? If they’re giving the NKVD supplies, aren’t they on the same side? What would it matter?

11. January 7, 1943 • Mother is dead. • She became really sick, just like many others as the winter lags on. There’s nothing we can do. We tried holding her close, warming bricks to put by her body. But we couldn’t do anything. • Before she died, I tried begging Kretzsky as a last resort. Mother told me he saved her from other NVKD officers when she was alone. It gained him her trust. So I went to him. He was with Ivanovwho just made me feel more humiliated, but I couldn’t just give up like that. • Mrs. Rimas and I buried her today. The ice made the grave so shallow…but at least she wasn’t thrown out like many of the others.

12. Around march 1943 • Just before it seemed like we were to all die, a man Dr. Samodurov came out of nowhere. He showed up with native hunters with proper clothing and ordered all of us to have warm good food for the first time in almost two years. When I asked him how he found us, he told me that Kretzsky told him. • Jonas is starting to feel better. We’ve had to bury a few more. I had to go back to work, but as I did, I saw the sun shine for the first time since the beginning of winter. We made it this far. How much longer do we have to go?