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Looking ahead…. Group proposal form due March 24 th /March 25 th Next week – 2 application exercises (30 pts each) AE#11 – Conflicts and Relationships AE #12 – Relationships Handout Both already posted on faculty webpage 30 pts ; pay special attention to spelling and grammar!.
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Looking ahead….. • Group proposal form due March 24th/March 25th • Next week – 2 application exercises (30 pts each) • AE#11 – Conflicts and Relationships • AE #12 – Relationships Handout • Both already posted on faculty webpage • 30 pts; pay special attention to spelling and grammar!
Reviewing Self-Disclosure • True/False: Self-Disclosure must involve intentionality, choice, private information, and risk • Which is more personal/private? History or Story • True/False: Self-Disclosure is an objective process • How does reciprocity factor into self-disclosure? • What are some reasons individuals choose to self-disclose? • What are some reasons individuals decide NOT to self-disclose? • What does the Social Penetration Model/Theory say about personal information and self-disclosure?
Communicating Conflict Chapter 9 Recap/Lecture
True or False? • Conflict is avoidable • Conflict can be productive
Interpersonal Conflict • “The interaction of interdependent people who perceive incompatible goals and interference from each other in achieving those goals” (p. 180)
Elements of Interpersonal Conflict • Interaction • Created/sustained through communication • Interdependence • Some relationship; need for each other • Perceptions • ….of incompatible goals • Also consider selective perceptions (in interactions) • Conflict as Goal Oriented • Incompatible goals
Types of Conflict • Image Conflicts • Disagreement about self definition/image • Content (Substantive) Conflicts • Public vs. Private • Revolves around an issue • Value Conflicts • Addresses a question of right or wrong • Relational Conflicts • Issues about a relationship • Serial Conflicts • Focuses on time frame; not subject (unlike other 4 types) • Recur over time; no resolution • Serial Conflicts Meta-Conflicts • Overlapping?
Communication Patterns • Symmetrical Escalation • Symmetrical Withdrawal • Pursuit-Withdrawal vs. Withdrawal-Pursuit • Symmetrical Negotiation • Which of the patterns are positive? Negative?
Explaining/Understanding Conflict The Four-Part Model The Explanatory Process Model Conflict occurs in episodes Distal Context Proximal Context Conflict Interaction Proximal Outcomes Distal Outcomes • Interdependence of Four Parts; happen simultaneously • You and Me: Participants • Context: Emotional background • Subject: Topic of the argument • Ignoring any part; unhealthy • Placating (no “me”) • Pouncing (no “you”) • Computing (no “context”) • Distracting (no “subject”) Background
Application Exercise #9 (10 pts) • Create a short skit about interpersonal conflict based on the type of conflict you are assigned • Your skit should walk us through the conflict and ways to mediate the conflict—based on what was learned through the chapter • Use an example of a communication pattern • After each skit, groups will have to walk us through how the skit served as a real life example of interpersonal conflict • Using the Four Part Model or the Explanatory Model • Cannot pull an example from the book; be creative!!!
Application Exercise #10 (10 pts) • Watch two of the clips provided • Respond to the following (for each clip): • Type of Conflict? Explain your answer. • Explain the Context; must focus on one of the four specific types • How was verbal and nonverbal communication used during the conflict? (e.g. to it add to the conflict, help mediate, share emotions, help with expression?) • How was the conflict resolved OR how could it have been resolved? • We will watch videos and discuss in class. • Format: Numbered responses for each of the 2 clips, typed • Due Wednesday/Thursday
Clips for AE#10 • Oceans 11 • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-p0hB3a8uag&sns=em • Freaky Friday • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HB2fUjeDR30(Starts round the 0:30 mark) • Sex and the City • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mKZIl8U6z4&sns=em • Martin • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5j4eziAhPPo (Beginning to 1:20) • Girlfriends • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVnDrV2a4Ao (Around the 4:20 mark)
Dark Side vs. Bright Side Dark Side of Conflict Bright Side of Conflict Managing conflict part of being a competent communicator Productive conflict management promotes physical and mental health Expressing feelings; learning those of others Relationship maintenance Increasing confidence Increasing depth Improves decision making skills • Bullying • Violence and Aggression
Myths about Conflict • All conflict is a result of miscommunication • Good communication resolves ALL conflict • Talking about conflict is always the best strategy • Additional: • All conflict is negative • Conflict is avoidable
Role of Gender, Sex, and Culture • Gender and Sex • Relational life vs. Public life • Collaborative vs. Competitive • Culture • How we behave in conflict • What we have conflict about
Power and Conflict • How do the two relate? • Power = ‘ability to control behavior of others’ • Use of Power • Direct application of power (e.g. spanking) • Direct and virtual use of power (e.g. threatening to spank) • Indirect application of power (e.g. “I’d like to see that room clean asap”) • Relational messages (e.g. “I’m your mother”) • Hidden Power (e.g. Turning down date; mom won’t approve) • Power is relational • Most consider responses to power • Sex differences? • Empowerment • Example – Desperate Housewives • How was power used?
Conflict Management • Staying calm (lightening up) • Stay in the present • Acknowledge other’s comments • Provide nonverbal and verbal feedback • Reframing • Presume/express goodwill; don’t expect the worst • Ask questions • Listen • Consider active listening • Practice cultural sensitivity
App. Exercise #11(30 pts); 3/24-25 • Think about one of your interpersonal relationships • How do you label the relationship—what type? • Tell me about the relational culture (e.g. unique communication patterns, part of relational history or uniqueness) • Reflect back on a conflict within your relationship • What type? Explain classification; don’t have to go into detail about actual conflict • How did the relationship impact the conflict? For example—would this have played out differently if you were conversing with a stranger? • Revisit the explanatory process model; how did the proximal and distal outcomes impact the relationship? If there was no impact—explain why you think this is the case. • Respond to these questions in a 1-1.5 page, typed paper; will add to this in class
Application Exercise #12 (30 pts)Due 3/26-27 • Complete the handout on my faculty webpage (in chart of Application exercises) • Type; Number answers • Will discuss in class