Creating Awareness

1. Creating Awareness

2. What awareness?

3. For the coach, it is an active expression of the coach’s engagement in the coaching relationship, thru types of communication patterns like: observation, curiosity, reflecting, questioning and presence. For the client, it is the process of developing insight and gaining an understanding about what is happening inside of themselves. It is a critical part of achieving goals, having a feeling of happiness or success and developing oneself internally.

4. Some key differences between coaching and counseling One key difference between coaching and counseling is that counseling can often help people develop awareness on different subjects or topics about themselves by going into the past, talking about a childhood experiences, reliving an accident, discussing a sad family dynamic with a counselor in a safe space over a period of time. This allows for self- awareness in a historical context for the client that includes a reflection of a series of past events, thoughts that developed and habits that were created. They are often complicated and complex stories.

5. Counseling may have the same outcome as coaching, with a client wanting to gain a better understanding of themselves and wanting to change behavior, but discussion is usually around experiences from the past that have affected the client in a deep way to the extent that it has a pervasive affect, significantly changing mood, thoughts or behavior that have become maladaptive, destructive and unsupportive to the client. • It is often around issues that affect the client’s daily living – eating, sleeping, working and relationships to such an extent that it has become an impairment in functioning.

6. The experiences often become so debilitating that the client is unable to complete daily tasks of self-care or daily living. • Often counseling is also not time driven but recommended for long term open ended therapy, so the client has adequate time for self -discovery and exploration. • Often times clients will need much longer to gain the necessary self-awareness to acknowledge behaviors and a way of seeing the world which has been in effect for years that isn’t working for them. And it will take a much longer time for change to take effect. For example: communication patterns between a couple newly dating vs. communication patterns of a couple that have been communicating for over 15 years.

7. Why create a dynamic of awareness? “Interpersonal communication is the process by which people exchange information, feelings, and meaning through verbal and non-verbal messages: it is face-to-face communication” Cited from: https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/interpersonal- communication.html

8. This is where coaching and counseling can be really effective tools for clients. Coaching offers an environment where the client can openly dialogue with a skilled professional to address something specific. Research shows that coaching and the coaching relationship can increase a person’s self- confident, inner awareness, motivation, productivity and outlook on life. For this to happen, clients need to feel safe with a coach and have the feeling that a coach will not judge or ridicule them if they express themselves. They need to know that the coach is genuinely interested, actively paying attention and engaged in the relationship.

9. They need to know that who they are and what they say are important to the coach. When a coach develops strong coaching skills this can help provide a space for the client to explore and develop awareness and can increase the success of the coaching for the coach and the client. The following is cited from: https://carlyanderson.com/how-creating-awareness-actually- works “How Creating Awareness actually works

10. The ICF core coaching competency of Creating Awareness is often misunderstood. Awareness in a coaching session is an “output” of engaging with other competencies . . . When you are being fully present with your client (engaging your Coaching Presence), you are listening to the client and hearing what is being said at many levels; the who, the how, the what and the why. Your listening and curiosity about what the client is saying at any or all of those levels informs the types of questions you ask, and what communications you speak to the client in the form of reflections, messages, and observations.

11. Now here’s the key. When you hear the client pause after a question or reflection/message/observation, or say something like, “That’s an interesting question” or “That’s an interesting idea/thought” – pay attention. This is potentially the beginning of a new awareness occurring for the client. The mistake many coaches make at this point is not being fully present enough to hear that the client is potentially on the verge of a new awareness. This is why Coaching Presence is the most important competency of them all.

12. MENTORING TIP

13. When a client is quiet, you be silent too. Allow the client to process whatever awareness they are getting. Do not ask another question that takes them out of the moment. You may ask a question along the lines of, “What are you getting right now?” as long as this question is present to where the client is and doesn’t step into their silent space, and you are not trying to artificially or prematurely ‘manufacture’ awareness in the client”. Review of ICF Core Competencies This section is cited directly from the International Coach Federation website:

14. Core Competencies The following eleven core coaching competencies were developed to support greater understanding about the skills and approaches used within today’s coaching profession as defined by the International Coach Federation. They will also support you in calibrating the level of alignment between the coach-specific training expected and the training you have experienced. Finally, these competencies and the ICF definition were used as the foundation for the ICF Coach Knowledge Assessment (CKA). The ICF defines coaching as partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.

15. The Core Competencies are grouped into four clusters according to those that fit together logically based on common ways of looking at the competencies in each group. The groupings and individual competencies are not weighted—they do not represent any kind of priority in that they are all core or critical for any competent coach to demonstrate. Setting the Foundation 1. Meeting Ethical Guidelines and Professional Standards 2. Establishing the Coaching Agreement B. Co-creating the Relationship 3. Establishing Trust and Intimacy with the Client 4. Coaching Presence

16. C. Communicating Effectively 5. Active Listening 6.Powerful Questioning 7. Direct Communication D. Facilitating Learning and Results 8. Creating Awareness 9.Designing Actions 10.Planning and Goal Setting 11. Managing Progress and Accountability

17. A. Setting the Foundation • 1. Meeting Ethical Guidelines and Professional Standards— • Understanding of coaching ethics and standards and ability to apply • them appropriately in all coaching situations. • Understands and exhibits in own behaviors the ICF Code of Ethics (see Code, Part III of ICF Code of Ethics). Understands and follows all ICF Ethical Guidelines (see list). Clearly communicates the distinctions between coaching, consulting, psychotherapy and other support professions. Refers client to another support professional as needed, knowing when this is needed and the available resources.

18. 2. Establishing the Coaching Agreement—Ability to understand what is required in the specific coaching interaction and to come to agreement with the prospective and new client about the coaching process and relationship. Understands and effectively discusses with the client the guidelines and specific parameters of the coaching relationship (e.g., logistics, fees, scheduling, inclusion of others if appropriate). Reaches agreement about what is appropriate in the relationship and what is not, what is and is not being offered, and about the client’s and coach’s responsibilities. Determines whether there is an effective match between his/her coaching method and the needs of the prospective client.

19. B. Co-Creating the Relationship 3. Establishing Trust and Intimacy with the Client— Ability to create a safe, supportive environment that produces ongoing mutual respect and trust. Shows genuine concern for the client’s welfare andfuture. Continuously demonstrates personal integrity,honesty and sincerity. Establishes clear agreements and keeps promises. Demonstrates respect for client’s perceptions, learning style, personal being.

20. Provides ongoing support for and champions newbehaviors and actions, including those involving risk- taking and fear of failure. Asks permission to coach client in sensitive, newareas.

21. 4. Coaching Presence—Ability to be fully conscious and create spontaneous relationship with the client, employing a style that is open, flexible and confident. Is present and flexible during the coaching process, dancing in the moment. Accesses own intuition and trusts one’s innerknowing— ” goes with the gut.” Is open to not knowing and takes risks. Sees many ways to work with the client and chooses in the moment what is most effective.

22. Uses humor effectively to create lightness and energy. Confidently shifts perspectives and experiments withnew possibilities for own action. Demonstrates confidence in working with strongemotions and can self-manage and not be overpowered or enmeshed by client’s emotions.

23. C. Communicating Effectively 5. Active Listening—Ability to focus completely on what the client is saying and is not saying, to understand the meaning of what is said in the context of the client’s desires, and to support client self-expression. Attends to the client and the client’s agenda and not to the coach’s agenda for the client. Hears the client’s concerns, goals, values and beliefs about what is and is not possible. Distinguishes between the words, the tone of voice, and the body language.

24. Summarizes, paraphrases, reiterates, and mirrors back what client has said to ensure clarity and understanding. Encourages, accepts, explores and reinforces theclient’s expression of feelings, perceptions, concerns, beliefs, suggestions, etc. Integrates and builds on client’s ideas andsuggestions. “Bottom-lines” or understands the essence of theclient’s communication and helps the client get there rather than engaging in long, descriptive stories. Allows the client to vent or “clear” the situation without judgment or attachment in order to move on to next steps.

25. 6. Powerful Questioning—Ability to ask questions that reveal the information needed for maximum benefit to the coaching relationship and the client. Asks questions that reflect active listening and anunderstanding of the client’s perspective. Asks questions that evoke discovery, insight,commitment or action (e.g., those that challenge the client’s assumptions). Asks open-ended questions that create greater clarity, possibility or new learning. Asks questions that move the client toward what they desire, not questions that ask for the client to justify or look backward.

26. 7. Direct Communication—Ability to communicate effectively during coaching sessions, and to use language that has the greatest positive impact on the client. Is clear, articulate and direct in sharing and providing feedback. Reframes and articulates to help the clientunderstand from another perspective what he/she wants or is uncertain about. Clearly states coaching objectives, meeting agenda,and purpose of techniques or exercises. Uses language appropriate and respectful to the client (e.g., non-sexist, non-racist, non-technical, non- jargon). Uses metaphor and analogy to help to illustrate apoint or paint a verbal picture.

27. D. Facilitating Learning and Results 8. Creating Awareness—Ability to integrate and accurately evaluate multiple sources of information and to make interpretations that help the client to gain awareness and thereby achieve agreed-upon results. Goes beyond what is said in assessing client’s concerns, not getting hooked by the client’s description. Invokes inquiry for greater understanding,awareness, and clarity. Identifies for the client his/her underlying concerns;typical and fixed ways of perceiving himself/herself and the world; differences between the facts and the interpretation; and disparities between thoughts, feelings, and action.

28. Helps clients to discover for themselves the newthoughts, beliefs, perceptions, emotions, moods, etc. that strengthen their ability to take action and achieve what is important to them. Communicates broader perspectives to clients and inspires commitment to shift their viewpoints and find new possibilities for action. Helps clients to see the different, interrelated factors that affect them and their behaviors (e.g., thoughts, emotions, body, and background). Expresses insights to clients in ways that are usefuland meaningful for the client. Identifies major strengths vs. major areas for learning and growth, and what is most important to address during coaching.

29. Asks the client to distinguish between trivial andsignificant issues, situational vs. recurring behaviors, when detecting a separation between what is being stated and what is being done.

30. 9. Designing Actions—Ability to create with the client opportunities for ongoing learning, during coaching and in work/life situations, and for taking new actions that will most effectively lead to agreed-upon coaching results. Brainstorms and assists the client to define actions that will enable the client to demonstrate, practice, and deepen new learning. Helps the client to focus on and systematicallyexplore specific concerns and opportunities that are central to agreed-upon coaching goals. Engages the client to explore alternative ideas and solutions, to evaluate options, and to make related decisions. Promotes active experimentation and self-discovery, where the client applies what has been discussed and learned during sessions immediately afterward in his/her work or life setting.

31. Celebrates client successes and capabilities for futuregrowth. Challenges client’s assumptions and perspectives to provoke new ideas and find new possibilities for action. Advocates or brings forward points of view that are aligned with client goals and, without attachment, engages the client to consider them. Helps the client “Do It Now” during the coachingsession, providing immediate support. Encourages stretches and challenges but also acomfortable pace of learning.

32. 10. Planning and Goal Setting—Ability to develop and maintain an effective coaching plan with the client. Consolidates collected information and establishes a coaching plan and development goals with the client that address concerns and major areas for learning and development. Creates a plan with results that are attainable, measurable, specific, and have target dates. Makes plan adjustments as warranted by the coachingprocess and by changes in the situation. Helps the client identify and access differentresources for learning (e.g., books, other professionals). Identifies and targets early successes that are important to the client.

33. 11. Managing Progress and Accountability—Ability to hold attention on what is important for the client, and to leave responsibility with the client to take action. Clearly requests of the client actions that will movethe client toward his/her stated goals. Demonstrates follow-through by asking the client about those actions that the client committed to during the previous session(s). Acknowledges the client for what they have done, notdone, learned or become aware of since the previous coaching session(s). Effectively prepares, organizes, and reviews withclient information obtained during sessions.

34. Promotes client’s self-discipline and holds the clientaccountable for what they say they are going to do, for the results of an intended action, or for a specific plan with related time frames. Develops the client’s ability to make decisions address key concerns, and develop himself/herself (to get feedback, to determine priorities and set the pace of learning, to reflect on and learn from experiences). Positively confronts the client with the fact thathe/she did not take agreed-upon actions.

35. Three skills or tools coaches can use to help the client develop self-awareness are: reflecting, clarifying and questioning #1 Coach Skills: Reflecting “Reflection has been described as a process that helps turn experience into knowledge (Gilbert &Trudel, 2001) and involves thought and exploration of a concept or event (Gray, 2007). https://coachgrowth.wordpress.com/2013/07/27/reflection-as-a-coach-development-tool/ It can be used for problem solving, identifying an issue the client is naming but not clear about, or as a tool to help the client move more deeply into a topic.

36. “The work of Schon is often used as a base for discussing reflective practice. Schon discussed the different ways in which practitioners (coaches) could reflect on their professional practice, in a practical environment (as opposed to purely theoretical). He identified ‘knowing-in-action’ which is the professional knowledge that a coach uses in their daily practice (Ghaye&Ghaye, 1998). This form of knowledge is based on a reflection of what a coach does, and is often difficult to explain, however it can be seen in how the coach acts. It involves craft knowledge, and the coach’s experiences, values and prejudices (Anderson, et al., 2004).

37. Methods for Reflecting Various models have been described for using a reflective approach to professional development. These tend to incorporate one or more of the methods described above and will often involve several steps that guide the coach to reaching an understanding of the issue they are examining. Generally, a coach will initially be presented with an issue in their coaching practice. If this issue is important enough, the coach will enter into a reflective conversation (Jones, 2006). A four stage model is then suggested for the coach to work through the issue reflectively: The coach sets the issue – what are the characteristics? Has it been encountered before? 2) The coach determines strategies – through reflection, past experience, consulting with others etc.

38. 3) The coach experiments with the possible solutions – either virtually, such as writing it down or talking over with a peer, or in the real world by applying the strategy 4) The coach evaluates the strategy – either individually or in consultation with others (Gilbert &Trudel, 2001). This may involve the coach going through a cyclical process of appreciation (problem setting), action (experimenting) and re- appreciation (problem setting). This process could be done in a group setting, with the group being asked to address a series of typical coaching issues. Questions could include “why this is considered to be an issue?” and “what strategies could be used to address this issue?”

39. A similar approach is suggested elsewhere in the literature. A five step process is suggested along similar lines to the process detailed above: Identification of the problem / issue to be resolved 2) Determination of the similarities to other situations 3) Frame and reframe the problem 4) Anticipate possible consequences or implications of the various solutions 5) Determine if the anticipated consequences are desired (Barnett, 1995; Kidman & Hanrahan, 1997).

40. Another useful structure for reflective journal writing is as follows: Describe – what did I do? (without judgement) 2) Informing – what does this mean? (patterns or principles underpinning practice) 3) Confronting – how did I come to be this way? (examining social and cultural aspects) 4) Reconstructing – how could I do this differently? (alternative views and goals for future) (Francis, 1995)”. Cited directly from: https://coachgrowth.wordpress.com/2013/07/27/reflection-as-a-coach-development-tool/

41. #2 Coach Skills: Clarifying • “In communication, clarification involves offering back to the speaker the essential meaning, as understood by the listener, of what they have just said” • Guidelines for Clarifying: Clarification is the skill we use to ensure that we have understood the message of the speaker in an interpersonal exchange. When using clarification follow these guidelines to help aid communication and understanding. • Admit if you are unsure about what the speaker means. • Ask for repetition. • State what the speaker has said as you understand it, and check whether this is what they really said. • Ask for specific examples. • Use open, non-directive questions - if appropriate. • Ask if you have got it right and be prepared to be corrected.

42. Cited from: Cited from: https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/clarification.html Clarifying as a way of communication allows a couple things to happen: • Clarifying lets the client know that the coach is listening • Clarifying allows for the coach and client to gain clarity around what the client is trying to say. • This type of communication can resolve misunderstandings or miscommunication • Also shows the client that the coach is actively attempting to understand what they are trying to say Examples: “What did you mean when you said . . “ “Could you say a little more about that?”

43. #3 Coach Skills: Questions “Here are 3 Pointers to Keep in Your Awareness as you Connect with Your Powerful Questions: The Power in a Powerful Question: Questions are the drivers of discovery in coaching conversations. Your questions embody your quality of curiosity and they invite your clients to probe, discover and expand their awareness. The first indicator that you've just asked a powerful question is your client's reaction to stop or pause before answering. Your questions give your clients the opportunity to think – your questions trigger your clients' reflective process, and usually on new or less familiar aspects of themselves. So, the power in a powerful question lies in the degree to which your question triggers your clients' reflective process.

44. With this in mind, the primary rule in questioning is one ofasking questions which evoke reflection. It’s not about leading them to an insight or finding a solution. It’s not about getting them to see something new. The reflective process takes care of this. As a coach, you need to ensure you are asking questions that encourage deep reflection and then focus on trusting in and allowing the reflective process to guide both you and your client. Of course, once you ask the reflective question, you also need to leave enough space for the reflection to happen. Many coaches ask powerful questions, but fail to give their clients the space to engage in deep reflection – if you do that, you effectively lose power from the powerful question you just asked”! Cited from: https://www.thecoachingtoolscompany.com/make-your- questions-more-powerful-pointers-and-questioning-model-by- kerryn-griffiths/

45. Awareness for the Coach: • Questioning is an important tool that helps develop interpersonal skills and is often part of advanced communication skills training. • What do you ask questions about? • Here are some coaching questions for you to learn and grow your questioning skills from: • Where do you spend most of your time when questioning? e.g. current circumstances, desires. • What are you missing as you jump into solutions? e.g. the rest of the self-knowledge aspects. • •How fully do you explore emotions, thinking or values? • •To what degree do you explore current and future behaviors in your sessions?