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SOCI 2160 Day 10 January 14, 2012

SOCI 2160 Day 10 January 14, 2012. Agenda. Discuss next part of scenario assignment Planning for Wedding Presentations Lifestyle Alternatives. SOCI 2160 Marriage and Family. LIFESTYLE ALTERNATIVES. Choices one may make. Marriage Remaining single Being single again

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SOCI 2160 Day 10 January 14, 2012

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  1. SOCI 2160Day 10January 14, 2012

  2. Agenda • Discuss next part of scenario assignment • Planning for Wedding Presentations • Lifestyle Alternatives

  3. SOCI 2160 Marriage and Family LIFESTYLE ALTERNATIVES

  4. Choices one may make • Marriage • Remaining single • Being single again • Being a single parent • Same Sex lifestyles

  5. Choices, continued • Alternatives to traditional marriage • Communes • Group marriage (cinogamous marriage) • Commuter marriage

  6. Marriage • Intended to serve several functions • Replace members • Socialize members • Regulate sexual behavior • Stabilize adult personalities/provide companionship

  7. WHY DO PEOPLE MARRY? • Personal fulfillment achieving a childhood goal • Companionship sharing experiences • Parenthood • Security

  8. Categories: • Never married • Divorced and separated • Widowed single • Alternative careers Some choose not to marry

  9. MYTHS: BEING SINGLE • Singles are "tied to mom's apron strings" or "daddy's little girl" • Singles are selfish • Singles are rich • Singles are happier • There are more singles now than ever • There is something wrong with singles

  10. REALITY • Many singles view being single as an acceptable lifetime option • Singles do not readily fit into married society • Singles may have more time • Singles may have more fun • Singles may be lonely • Life for singles is changing for the better

  11. SOURCE OF DATA • Study done by Cargan and Melko, 1982400 systematically selected households in Dayton, Ohio • 114 never married; 37 divorced; 205 first marriage; 44 remarried

  12. Increases in single population are due to: • Population increase in young adult category • Return to pattern of late marriage that predominated • until 1950's

  13. Increasing numbers, continued • Disproportionate numbers of men and women • Changing attitudes toward staying single • Free-floating, voluntary • Open-coupled relationship • Closed-coupled relationship; possibly planning to marry

  14. (STEIN, 1981) Typology of Singlehood Voluntary Involuntary Temporary Stable Not seeking mates but not opposed Seeking mates for first or second time Never married who have more or less accepted singlehood Singles not seeking marriage

  15. SINGLES' LIVING ARRANGEMENTS • Living with parents • Group or communal living • Cohabitation • Gay and lesbian partners • Women sharing men

  16. INCOME ISSUES • Underemployment, especially for single women with children • Employment discrimination especially for single men • More likely to rent apartment than own home; more likely to be urban than suburban

  17. Single mothers by choice • Adoption • Intercourse with a selected partner • Insemination by a selected donor • Insemination by an unknown donor SINGLE PARENTHOOD

  18. MORE TYPES of SINGLE PARENTS • Divorced or widowed parents • Single fathers by choice • adoption • surrogacy issues • Adolescent pregnancies

  19. CHALLENGES FACED BY SINGLE PARENTS • Children's emotional needs • Discipline • Meeting their own needs • Adult sexual needs("do as I say; not as I do!") • Money • Guardian in case of death or disability • Prenatal care • Rituals and traditions • Other family members

  20. SAME SEX LIFESTYLES • Societal distinctions nature versus nurture • "coming out" and other family issues • Establishing stable relationships • Prejudice / discrimination

  21. Coming Out to a Partner and Same-Sex Marriage

  22. SAME-SEX MARRIAGE • As of 2010, six states and the District of Columbia now offer civil marriage licenses to same-sex couples (Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont, and Maine). • Antigay Marriage Legislation • Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA)

  23. As of January 2013, nine states—Connecticut, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York, Vermont, and Washington—as well as the District of Columbia and two Native American tribes (Coquille and Suquamish) — have legalized same-sex marriage.

  24. In addition, Rhode Island recognizes same-sex marriages performed in other jurisdictions, and California, which briefly granted same-sex marriages in 2008, now recognizes them on a conditional basis. • Source: wikipedia.org/wiki/Same-sex_marriage_in_the_United_States

  25. http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Samesex_marriage_in_USA.svghttp://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Samesex_marriage_in_USA.svg • http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:World_homosexuality_laws.svg

  26. Relationships of Bisexuals • Individuals who identify as bisexual have the ability to form intimate relationships with both sexes. • Mixed-Orientation Relationships • Lifetime Sexual Abuse

  27. a.k.a. Intentional community • collective • cooperative • some commonly shared principles i.e., Environmentalism, holistic health, positive vision, planetary transformation COMMUNES

  28. GROUP MARRIAGE(cinogamy) • Individuals in a group living arrangement (minimum of 3 persons) agree to open sexual access to each other • Not legally recognized • Polyfidelity

  29. Characteristics • Equal career commitment • Preference for living together • Problems • Interrupted conversations • Lack of shared leisure • Marital sex • Children • Deployment Issues COMMUTER MARRIAGE

  30. COMMUTER MARRIAGE • Benefits • Special effort for good times when together • Limited bickering • Satisfaction with work • More personal time

  31. LIVING TOGETHERCohabitation SOC 2160

  32. COHABITATION • Two persons, of the opposite sex, sharing living quarters, economic responsibilities and engaged in a sexual partnership(POSSLQ)

  33. Delay of marriage • Fear of marriage • Education/career • Increased acceptance • Birth control • Stability without legal ties REASONS

  34. Here and Now Testers Engaged Money Savers Separated Pension Partners Cohabitants forever Types of Cohabitation

  35. Traditional Values? • Sharing housework? • Some yes; many see it traditionally as “woman’s work” • sense of ‘belonging’ and well-being

  36. Traditional Values? • Sexual activity? • higher frequency of intercourse compared to singles and marrieds

  37. Sharing money in cohabiting relationships • Experts advise -- separate accounts and shared living expenses • Develop written agreements for things purchased jointly

  38. Sharing money in cohabiting relationships • What should happen in the case of large discrepancy in incomes?

  39. POTENTIAL ADVANTAGES OF COHABITATION • Sense of well-being • Delayed marriage • Gain information about self and partner

  40. Easier adjustment to stepfamily for children • Terminate unsatisfactory relationships before marriage and legal entanglements ADVANTAGES, cont.

  41. POTENTIAL DISADVANTAGES • Feeling or used tricked • Problems with parents • More depression among mothers -- lacking family context for children • Setting example for children

  42. DISADVANTAGES, cont. • Economic disadvantages • Taxes • Health care • Breaking up • Death

  43. Points to Consider • How should a cohabiting couple go about ending the relationship? • without children present? • with children present?

  44. To see or not to see? • What are advantages of continuing to be “friends”? • What are possible disadvantages of continuing to have contact with one another?

  45. Other Issues • Dating on the “rebound” • How soon? • How quickly to become intimate? • Would you date some-one on the “rebound”? • Why or why not? • What can be learned?

  46. Assignment • Be ready to report on wedding plans on Wednesday • Next topic: Sexuality and having/not having children

  47. Being Single, Hanging Out, Hooking Up, and Living Together Key Terms

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