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RCCG The King’s Palace Family Life Ministry Focus of the Family

RCCG The King’s Palace Family Life Ministry Focus of the Family. Tuesday, January 31 - 2012 The Courageous Family IMPACT OF FAMILY VALUES ON THE QUALITY OF RELATIONSHIPS. Opening prayer. Family Life Ministry Q1 2012, Theme FAMILY VALUES & QUALITY OF RELATIONSHIPS.

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RCCG The King’s Palace Family Life Ministry Focus of the Family

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  1. RCCG The King’s PalaceFamily Life MinistryFocus of the Family Tuesday, January 31 - 2012 The Courageous Family IMPACT OF FAMILY VALUES ON THE QUALITY OF RELATIONSHIPS

  2. Opening prayer

  3. Family Life Ministry Q1 2012, Theme FAMILY VALUES & QUALITY OF RELATIONSHIPS January: the courageous family - IMPACT OF FAMILY VALUES ON THE QUALITY OF RELATIONSHIPSFEBRUARY: SEMINAR RECAP - KEY LEARNING POINTS As IT RELATES TO FAMILY VALUESMARCH: IMPROVING THE QUALITY OF OUR RELATIONSHIPS

  4. Marriage Seminar Reminder

  5. Marriage Seminar Schedule Friday • Session One: The Four Foundational Laws of Marriage • Speaker: Jimmy Evans • Time: 7:00 p.m. – 8:20 p.m. • Q & A with Jimmy & Karen • Time: 8:20 p.m. – 8:50 p.m. • Session Two: Understanding/Meeting Your Spouse's Needs • Speaker: Jimmy Evans • Time: 8:50 p.m. – 9:30 p.m.

  6. Marriage Seminar Schedule Saturday • Session Three: Parents - Past and Present • Speaker: Jimmy Evans • Time: 9:00 a.m. – 9:50 a.m. • Session Four: Destructive Husbands/Wives • Speaker: Jimmy Evans • Time: 10:20 a.m. – 11:00 p.m. • Session Five: Sexual Fulfillment in Marriage • Speaker: Jimmy Evans • Time: 11:05 a.m. – 11:50 a.m. • Vow Renewal Ceremony • Time: 11:50 a.m. – 12:00 p.m.

  7. Text • Ephesians 4:14That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; • The key point is around the solidifying effect of personal values on an individual’s character…not “tossed by winds = pressures & circumstances”

  8. Pressures vs. Values • Pressure at work will prevent you from creating time for your teenager (e.g. to run together as in the case of Adam & Dylan in the movie courageous ) • Unless you have a value system that causes you to evaluate the impact of your action and decisions on your relationships!

  9. Circumstances vs. Values • Negative circumstances and life’s challenges will cloud your judgment and prevent you from maintaining a positive outlook of faith in God and His Word/Promises, unless you have a value system that causes you to look at your glass as half full rather than half empty! …and ultimately reflect on your relationships.

  10. Values or Value System? • What is a value or value system? • What are examples of things affected by our value system? • How does our values affect our choices? • How could our value system affect the quality of our family life?

  11. Value System • A value system is a set of consistent values and measures. (Wikipedia) • What then is value? • Value denotes something's degree of importance, with the aim of determining what action or life is best to do or live (Wikipedia) • Relative worth, merit, or importance (dictionary.com)

  12. Values or Value System? • What is a value or value system? • What are examples of things affected by our value system? • How does our values affect our choices? • How could our value system affect the quality of our family life?

  13. Values or Value System? • What are examples of things affected by our value system? • Relationships • Education (type/level/quality) • Choices/Decisions • Attention/Focus/Priorities • Friendships (choice of friends)

  14. Values or Value System? • What is a value or value system? • What are examples of things affected by our value system? • How does our values affect our choices? • How could our value system affect the quality of our family life?

  15. Opportunity Cost & Values • Opportunity Cost: The cost of the alternative forgone (high school puzzle!...shirt or meal?) • In our day to day life, we always are confronted with the need to make a choice between two or more alternatives • Our values or value system is the key tool for identifying the alternative to forgo!

  16. Opportunity Cost & Values • As an example, if you have a choice between spending 14 hours at work 6 days a week and spending quality time with your spouse, son and/or daughter • Assuming • 14 hours/day; 6 days/week = Become “C” Level executive ($$$$$$), but disjointed unfulfilling family relationships • 10 hours/day; 5 days/week = mid level career development ($$), but well adjusted and joyous family relationships • What will your choice be?

  17. Opportunity Cost & Values • You will be faced with such circumstances daily…may be not as dramatic! • Question: • Can you identify a few similar examples to share/discuss as a group? • Our values or value system is the key tool for identifying the alternative to forgo when faced with these life’s choices!

  18. Text Reminder • Ephesians 4:14That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; • The key point is around the solidifying effect of personal values on an individual’s character…not “tossed by winds = pressures & circumstances”

  19. Values or Value System? • What is a value or value system? • What are examples of things affected by our value system? • How does our values affect our choices? • How could our value system affect the quality of our family life?

  20. Courageous Resolution’s Message • Resolution by its very nature = development or cultivation of a value system! • Synonyms: Decision; Promise; Pledge

  21. Courageous Resolution’s Message • "I do solemnly resolve before God to take full responsibility for myself, my wife, and my children. I WILL love them, protect them, serve them, and teach them the Word of God as the spiritual leader of my home. I WILL be faithful to my wife, to love and honor her, and be willing to lay down my life for her as Jesus Christ did for me. I WILL bless my children and teach them to love God with all of their hearts, all of their minds, and all of their strength. I WILL train them to honor authority and live responsibly. I WILL confront evil, pursue justice, and love mercy. I WILL pray for others and treat them with kindness, respect, and compassion. I WILL work diligently to provide for the needs of my family. I WILL forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those I have wronged. I WILL learn from my mistakes, repent of my sins, and walk with integrity as a man answerable to God. I WILL seek to honor God, be faithful to His church, obey His Word, and do His will. I WILL courageously work with the strength God provides to fulfill this resolution for the rest of my life and for His glory. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. ---Joshua 24:15"

  22. Examples of Values in The Resolution Question: • What can you point out as examples that will reflect on the character of an individual from the resolution in terms of their values?

  23. The Resolution Message: • "I do solemnly resolve before God to take full responsibility for myself, my wife, and my children. I WILL love them, protect them, serve them, and teach them the Word of God as the spiritual leader of my home. I WILL be faithful to my wife, to love and honor her, and be willing to lay down my life for her as Jesus Christ did for me. I WILL bless my children and teach them to love God with all of their hearts, all of their minds, and all of their strength. I WILL train them to honor authority and live responsibly. I WILL confront evil, pursue justice, and love mercy. I WILL pray for others and treat them with kindness, respect, and compassion. I WILL work diligently to provide for the needs of my family. I WILL forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those I have wronged. I WILL learn from my mistakes, repent of my sins, and walk with integrity as a man answerable to God. I WILL seek to honor God, be faithful to His church, obey His Word, and do His will. I WILL courageously work with the strength God provides to fulfill this resolution for the rest of my life and for His glory. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. ---Joshua 24:15"

  24. + 30 Values Identified in the Resolution Message • "I do solemnly resolve before God to take full responsibility for myself, my wife, and my children. I WILL love them, protect them, serve them, and teach them the Word of God as the spiritual leader of my home. I WILL be faithful to my wife, to love and honor her, and be willing to lay down my life for her as Jesus Christ did for me. I WILL bless my children and teach them to love God with all of their hearts, all of their minds, and all of their strength. I WILL train them to honor authority and live responsibly. I WILL confront evil, pursue justice, and love mercy. I WILL pray for others and treat them with kindness, respect, and compassion. I WILL work diligently to provide for the needs of my family. I WILL forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those I have wronged. I WILL learn from my mistakes, repent of my sins, and walk with integrity as a man answerable to God. I WILL seek to honor God, be faithful to His church, obey His Word, and do His will. I WILL courageously work with the strength God provides to fulfill this resolution for the rest of my life and for His glory. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. ---Joshua 24:15"

  25. Effect of Such Values on Family? Question: • What do you think will be the effect of such values on the type & quality of relationship between the spouses and/or between the parents & children in the home ?

  26. Key Movies Characters • Mitchells • Adam (father) • Victoria (wife) • Dylan (Son) • Hayes • Nathan (father) • Kyla (wife) • Shane Fuller (jailed police) • Martinez • Javier (father) • Carmen (wife) • David Thomson (rookie officer)

  27. Values Systems & Movie Questions: • What are examples of values systems reflected or identifiable in some of these characters in the movie? • What were the effects of those values on their relationships?

  28. Values Systems & Movie • Absent Fathers (e.g. Nathan Hayes Father) • Kids 20x more likely to end up in prison • My concern is not really about physically absent fathers…how about… • Physically present fathers, but emotionally absent (e.g. Adam Mitchell in the beginning) • Daughter’s dance request denied (not important) • Son’s run request denied (too busy)

  29. Our Own Values… Question: • What will be your response in same or similar situations? (be honest!) • What does such response tell you about your values? HOMEWORK: • What do you need to work on in your family (in terms of your values) to enhance the quality of your relationship?

  30. Audience Q&A

  31. Reminder: Revisit Your Family Vision & Values Worksheet

  32. Sections of the Worksheets • Understand your family’s broad purpose & principles • Define your family’s core values • Understand God’s purpose for your children • Develop specific goals and associated plans in different aspects of your family relationship • Commitment to action…

  33. Closing prayer

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