Sex Scandals Why do they happen? What do they teach us ? Why are we interested?
Mr. President- Mr. Intern • Mr. Weiner Mr. NY Rep Exhibitionist • Mr. Spitzer –Mr. Anti Prostitution • Mr. Sanford Hiking the Appalachian Trail • Mr. Edwards Mr. Impregnator • Mr. Arnold – Governor and Staff Impregnator • Mr. General – Mr. All In • And scores of soap operas yet unveiled.. But coming… Let us count the public figure thrillers:
Not counting Newt Gingrich- who cheats on two wives • In an affair while he prosecutes Clinton for Monica • Introduces divorce papers to wife in hospital getting radiation • Then runs for President and attacks journalist for bringing up his moral past! • Campaigns with third wife who was previous mistress
Or Jimmy Sweigert—religious guru arrested for visiting prostitutes -wife stays? • Hugh Grant- arrested for getting quick oral sex in a taxi cab ( Girl friend stays, goes, comes back?) • A U.S Senator - for “tapping his foot “ for a same sex liaison in a public bathroom.. Wife stays… • Or Cheeky Rep Mark Souder of Indiana- who had an affair with a staffer who was helping him produce a video on abstinence!!
President Thomas Jefferson fathered a child by his mistress and slave President Warren G Harding carried on an affair with the wife a family friend and fathered a child out of wedlock President and General Eisenhour had a long affair with the woman who was his driver during WWII Renown CIA Director ( Dulles) had , according to his sister, over 100 affairs, perhaps one with the Queen of Greece President Kennedy and his brother Bobby, a Senator , reportedly had affairs with Marilyn Monroe- and many other women..
What about our more recent soap operas….? A short recitation on the facts as we know them..
Mr . President- Bill Clinton • Accused several times, but it doesn’t stick- Jennifer Flowers, Paula Jones • Accused of lying to Congress under oath about “that women, Miss Lewinsky” when her semen soaked dress is produced • Goes through impeachment hearings • Wife stays • Becomes darling of philanthropy, 2012 elections king maker Slick Willie..
Smart • A “Crusader” Against Prostitution • Happily Married, etc. • Caught by the very people he trained • headlines • Apologizes, wife takes him back • Minor punishment- Now a Pundit on TV Mr. Spitzer
Elected Official • Happily Married • Exhibitionist • Arrogant • Gets Caught with exposure on internet • Wife takes him back ( to treatment) • After publicity- still does it again—AND runs for office • Charges probably still pending Mr. Weiner
Runs for President while having an affair with his “videographer” • Denies accusations extolling his wife’s beauty, charm and brains • Openly runs around the country with mistress • She gets pregnant, one of us guys takes the rap- for a while • Long suffering , dying of cancer wife reconciles on death bed • Children support him • Goes to trial--is acquitted of using campaign money illegally • Public hates him Mr. Edwards
Southern Governor finds his Argentinian soul mate • Tells his aids to tell people he’s gone “ hiking” • Loopy in love, he pines after her, when caught • Wife, a lawyer, leaves him Governor Stanford
Mr. Arnold • Movie Star who has a reputation for running around, harassing women • Classy wife defends him in campaign • She finds out about his affair with housekeeper- and that he is the father of her child • Almost reconciles – but leaves him • Shameless Arnold out hawking his story in a book The Governator
Head of CIA- but makes mistakes in covering up email! • Reputation for ambition and discipline • Married 38 years to classic help mate wife • Has affair with his biographer for two years • Exposed because biographer writes letters to a Tampa socialite to stay away from another general! • Contrite – wife probably stays Mr. General
What does this teach us ? Number One: The sexuality of driven and powerful men…
They Love to be adored: videographers, interns, biographers • They want what they want • They can’t believe they will be caught • They are willing to be outrageous and shameless- • They believe that they deserve a soul mate or babe Note : there are no women caught…
There are no powerhouse women in these scandals.. • There are women offenders- • Mary Kay Letourneau – grade school teacher • Bombshell blond high school teacher • Latest teacher with 18 year old – holding hands in the courtroom.. • But not Diane Feinstein, Ruth Ginsberg, Pelosi etc.. Why?
Mentoring isn’t sexy for most women • Underlings don’t go after them.. • They are less arrogant, more careful and don’t get caught? • Are men more secretive lovers than mistresses? What else did we learn?
Bill Clinton’s classic looking us into the camera and saying “ I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky” • John Edwards declaring his love for his wife • Priceless.
How could the head of the CIA think this would stay uncovered? • How did President Clinton think he could cover up obvious interaction with Monica Lewinsky? • How did Governor Stanford think he could just disappear for days? etc. People lie to themselves well…
How did John Edwards and Arnold Schwarzenegger allow themselves to father a child? • Why couldn’t they take simple precautions- for their health, safety, and wife?
The Clinton marriage is an interesting piece of work.. And over time, both they- and we have accepted it.. What men do when women will stay..
The Political Marriage is its own intricate set of compromises in includes: • Admiration and belief in your partner • Belief in his purpose even when he is flawed • Loyalty and partnership at its core • Sadness when the loyalty goes only one way • A way of life, hard to give up, hard to live with • But is it only political marriages- or are these just the ones we din out about..
The level of surveillance we have now gives us full exchanges- more information than ever– and still – women stay.. And perhaps, men as well.. What would we know if we had perfect information on everyone?
The press was contemptuous or over protective of Monica Lewinsky– but she kept the dress • Jennifer Flowers and Paula Jones went to the public • Broadwell found a way to do Patreus’ biography and flew around the world with him • Edward’s mistress got a baby and a residence Are these women victims?
Monica with a cigar • Oral Sex in the President’s Office while he is on the phone.. • The immortal words of Prince Charles with his affair with Camilla on his wish to be her tampon!!
The Bible belt in particular, seems to breed some sexual hijinks • The Governor of South Carolina • The State Rep from Indiana • The President from Arkansas • We are no longer surprised at the hypocrisy
The trips • The Lying • Should we assume an affair when a famous man is in a picture with an attractive woman?
Trying to explain oral sex to kids during the Clinton scandal • The Mary Kay Letourneau Types – what is wrong about a teacher with a 13 year old.. How about marrying him? • ` Exhibitionism from Wiener • Prostitution from Spitzer
Nine: Our prudishness is being compromised- ( are we becoming European?)
We resurrect almost all of the offenders (Edwards is probably the exception..) • We condemn infidelity- but we are getting used to it..
Clinton has obviously been ( is?) a player- but we love him anyhow. What we say is different from what we do
Will more people tolerate being betrayed ? Have these public scandals changed us?
Nothing is ever lost • We have aggressive retrieval going back years • No one seems to be able to resist email • Even a CIA head could not figure out a safe system • We catch child molesters- but also errant public servants and everyday cheaters..
Does it hurt our expectations about marriage? • Will it change the way we act in marriage? • Does it affect our own individual behavior? • Should we be more European? • What do we think about male and female differences?