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This chapter explores the intricate world of communication and relational dynamics in relationships. It highlights key factors influencing partner selection, including appearance, similarity, and reciprocal attraction. The chapter outlines five essential stages of relational development, from initiation to termination, and examines dialectical tensions such as connection versus autonomy. With a focus on maintaining satisfying interactions through positivity and openness, it also addresses repairing damaged relationships and effective communication strategies. Lastly, it emphasizes the significance of understanding both content and relational messages.
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Chapter 8 Communication & Relational Dynamics
Relationships • Relationship-the mode in which 2 or more things stand to one another • Factors that influence our choice of relational partners • Appearance • Similarity • Complementary • Reciprocal attraction • Competence • Disclosure • Proximity • Rewards
Developmental Models • 3 parts- coming together, coming apart, relational maintenance • 10 stages • Initiating • Experimenting • Intensifying • Integrating • Bonding • ----------------------------------------- Shifts • Differentiating • Circumscribing • Stagnating • Avoiding • Terminating
Dialectical Perspectives • Dialectical tensions-conflicts that arise when 2 opposing or incompatible forces exist simultaneously. • connection v. autonomy • openness v privacy • predictability v. novelty • Managing dialectical tensions • Denial • Disorientation • Alteration • Segmentation • Balance • Integration • Recalibration • Reaffirmation
Characteristics of Relationships • Relationships are constantly changing • Richard Conville’s description of the constantly changing nature of relationships • Relationships are affected by culture-western notion of romance and marriage v. arranged marriages: level of self-disclosure • Relationships require maintenance- comm. Accounts for as much as 80% of the difference between satisfying and unsatisfying relationships • 5 strategies couples use to keep interactions satisfying • Positivity • Openness • Assurance • Social networks • Sharing tasks
Damaged Relationships • Repairing damaged relationships-problems arise from outside a relationship, differences within relationships, and relational transgressions • Types of relational transgressions • Minor v significant • Deliberate v. unintentional • Social v. relational • One time v. incremental
Damaged Relationships Con’d • Strategies for relational repair • First step-talk about the violation • 3 elements for the best chance of repairing the damage • An explicit acknowledgement that the transgression was wrong • A sincere apology • Some type of compensation • What is the only way an apology can be convincing? • Forgiving transgressions • Personal and relational benefits • 2 least forgivable offensive in a dating relationship?
Communicating & Relationships • Content messages-most obvious component of a message • Relational messages-how the parties feel toward one another • 4 types • Affinity • Immediacy • Respect • Control • Metacommunication-communication about commuinication • Important method for solving conflicts in a constructive manner