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RADaR

RADaR. Putting your writing through the “RADaR”…. THINK & RESPOND: What steps were taken to get from the “before” to the “after” picture?. Revision RADaR Strategy. Replace …What words could I replace?. As I ran to the finish line, my heart was beating.

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RADaR

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  1. RADaR Putting your writing through the “RADaR”…

  2. THINK & RESPOND:What steps were taken to get from the “before” to the “after” picture?

  3. Revision RADaR Strategy

  4. Replace…What words could I replace? • As I ran to the finish line, my heart was beating. • As I sprinted to the finish line, my heart was pounding in my chest. • How did the writer replace the overused verb ran? • What other replacements do you see? • How did they improve the text?

  5. Add – What words could I add? • Shadows made the night seem scary. • Ominous shadows made the dark night seem even more sinister. • How did the second sentence make you feel, compared with the first?

  6. Delete – What words might I delete? • The candidates talked about the issues, and many of the issues were issues that had been on voters’ minds. • The candidates talked about the issues, many of which had been on voters’ minds. • Describe the revision you see. • How did taking out unnecessary repetition of the words issues help the sentence flow more naturally?

  7. Reorder – Should I reorder anything? • Put the sunflower seeds over the strawberries, which are on top of the pineapple in a bowl. You’ll have a delicious fruit salad! • To make a delicious fruit salad, cut pineapple into a bowl. Add strawberries and then sprinkle a few sunflower seeds over the top. • Which of the models flows more logically? Why?

  8. Your turn… • Use the RADaR method to revise the following sentences on a separate piece of paper: • She likes cookies. • My aunt drove her car. • He was pretty sure the skunk was hiding. • Mitzy broke the zipper. She wasn’t worried. • It was cold outside.

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