1. Normal Guilt, Guilt Induced by Extreme Abuse, and Some Suggestions for Working with Guilt Jeannie Riseman

2. Chat ground rules • Be respectful, be concise • Use the chat ONLY to write down questions for the QandA periods. • Hide chat column if it distracts you • Click the arrow on right top of the chat column to hide or show it • There will be an "open Chat" at the end of the

3. Private Chat • If you wish to chat privately with somebody: • There is s a list of people attending at the left of your screen • Click the green dot in front of the person's name • A private box will appear on the lower left side of your screen.

4. QandA Period Ground Rules • Be respectful, be concise • Say on the topic of guilt • There will be two 15 minutes QandA periods • One in the middle and one at the end of the presentation • The remaining time (until 2 PM Pacific time) will be "open discussion"

5. QandA periods: How to talk • Write your question or write ??? in the chat column • You will be called on in order. • Press Star 6 to talk • Press Star 6 after talking (so we don't hear your background noise)

6. We will cover: • Why appropriate guilt is good • How healthy guilt develops • How normal parents induce unhealthy guilt • How cults magnify guilt • Types of guilt • Some suggestions on handling guilt

7. Life without Guilt

8. Development of Guilt in Normal Children • Magical thinking --- baby is the center of the world, • Slowly realizes he doesn't control everything • Starts to sort out what he can control, what he can't • Parents start to teach rules

9. Different Authorities Teach Different Rules • Parents • School • Church • Peers • Television • Cult

10. Moro Reflex

11. Moro Reflex

12. QandA Period • Be respectful, be concise • Say on the topic of guilt • Write your question or write ??? • in the chat column • You will be called on in order. • Press Star6 to talk • Press Star6 after talking • (so we don't hear your background noise)

13. Cults Intensify Guilt by: • Regression • Outright lies • Trickery and deceit • Blaming, over and over again • Name calling -- bad, evil, etc. • Double binds

14. Categories of Guilt • Healthy guilt • Unhealthy guilt or false guilt

15. Some Types of Guilt • I did something against my values at the time • I did something against my present values • Guilt for actions taken or not taken that endangered others. • Survivor guilt • Guilt for "causing" it

16. More Types of Guilt • Prediction -- I did something that caused it • I didn't do enough at the time • I can never be good enough to make up for all the bad things I did

17. Qand A Period: 15 Minutes • Write your question or write ??? in the chat column • You will be called on in order. • Press Star 6 to talk • Press Star 6 after talking (so we don't hear your background noise)

18. Recognizing Guilt • Recognizing that I actually do feel guilty • Is this from the present or from the past? • Is this healthy, or unhealthy, false guilt?

19. Is This from the Present or the Past? • Guilt about a minor thing may raise all sorts of past guilt -- a feelings flashback • Sort out what part of the feeling belongs to past and what to present • Flashback worksheet is helpful here

20. Am I Getting any Benefits from Feeling Guilty? • Does it feel better to feel guilty or helpless? • Does taking on the guilt protect others (inside or outside)? • Does feeling guilty about this keep me from facing other issues? • Or other emotions? Like maybe anger or grief?

21. Handling Healthy Guilt • Acknowledge to yourself and/or others your role in the wrong-doing • Make amends non-destructively • Seek forgiveness (includes forgiving yourself) • Learn from the situation so you don’t repeat the same mistakes • Let go of the past and move on

22. Handling Unhealthy or False Guilt • Slow process, no short cuts • Correct distortions • Assign responsibility where it belongs • Inner parenting • Get angry, grieve

23. We have Covered • Why appropriate guilt is good • How healthy guilt develops • How normal parents induce unhealthy guilt • How cults magnify unhealthy guilt • Some suggestions on handling guilt

24. We will Send You: • References • Information on accessing the recording, slides, and chat on our website • An evaluation form

25. References • Guilt Following Traumatic Events. Kathleen Nader (article) • Survivor Guilt: A Self-Help Guide. Aphrodite Matsakis (book) • I Can't Get Over It: A Handbook for Trauma survivors. Aphrodite Matsakis (book) • An article on OCD

26. Coming Webinars • “Understanding Nazi Influence in Ritual Abuse” Alik of the OwlClan January 9 • Topic to be Announced Mike Skinner February 6 • “Art and Activism: What the Public Sees” Lynn Schirmer March 13