A Look At Discipline Presented by:
Discipline is: • Helping a child learn to get along with family and friends. • Teaching a child to behave in an agreeable way. • Allowing freedom to learn from mistakes and experience consequences.
Discipline and Punishment are different • Punishment focuses on the child • Discipline focuses on the act
The Purpose of Discipline To raise responsible, confident children who grow up to be persons who think for themselves, who care about others, and who live satisfying and useful lives.
Styles of Discipline • Extremely Permissive - “The Helicopter” • Extremely Strict - “The Drill Sergeant” • Moderate - “The Consultant”
Characteristics: Have few rules Allow children to do as they please Possible Outcomes Children are spoiled,cranky, whining persons who are very aggressive and want their own way all of the time. Extremely Permissive Parents:The Helicopter
Characteristics Expect immediate obedience Give no explanation for demands Use physical punishment often Possible Outcomes Children are timid and withdrawn persons who are very dependent, or rebellious persons who defy authority. Extremely Strict Parents:The Drill Sergeant
Characteristics Set limits and allow children to decide within those limits and make their own mistakes. Allow natural and logical consequences to do the teaching for them. Are firm, with kindness, warmth and love. Possible Outcomes Children are responsible, cooperative persons who have a good self-concept and are considerate of others. Moderate Parents:The Consultant
Program Your Child For Success • Look for opportunities to show children a different picture of themselves • Put children in situations where they can see themselves differently • Let children overhear you say something positive about them • Model the behavior you’d like to see • Be a “storehouse” for your child’s special moments • State your feelings and expectations when your child slips back into playing an old role
Age and Stage Make a Difference Know What to Expect of Your Young Children
What To Expect of Infants • Cry to get what they need and want • Dependent on adults • Love to play with food • Grow rapidly • Get into everything • Sleep less as they grow • Learn by touch, sight, smell, taste and hearing
What to Expect of 2 Year Olds • Are learning independence (No!) • Are possessive (Mine!) • Are noisy • Try to get their own way • Have a short memory • Can’t make up their mind • Are pokey (dawdle) • Can’t sit still
What to Expect of 3 Year Olds • Try to please • Follow through on tasks fairly well • Accept suggestions • Can be reasoned with • Are attentive, when spoken to, especially when called by name • Can make choices • Can talk enough to be understood • Haven’t learned to share yet
What to Expect of 4 year Olds • Want friends • Ask many questions • Tend to be bossy • Brag and stretch the truth • Tattle frequently • Talk a lot • Can take turns • See themselves as the center of attention • Enjoy playing with made-up words • Say words that shock you
What to Expect of 5 Year Olds • Are friendly with friends (usually) and parents • Are businesslike • Like to imitate grown-ups • Are dependable • Like to feel independent • Tattle on others • Enjoy dressing up • Can give their name and address • Are serious and demanding
To Discipline Effectively, Think About These Ideas: • Effective discipline is positive. It is helping, teaching and learning. • The purpose of discipline is to help children learn to do what is right because they want to, not because they fear punishment. • Effective discipline is moderate, neither very permissive nor very strict. • Moderate discipline is most effective for the age we live in. • Discipline influences the kind of adult your child will become. • Understanding your own individual child is the basis for effective discipline. • Discipline needs to be in keeping with the child’s age and abilities.
Thank you for wanting to be the Best Parent You Can Be! Feel free to request additional parent resources from your local Virginia Cooperative Extension Office. Thanks for your Participation!!!