CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Managing Negotiation Mismatches Negotiators always run the risk of encountering other parties, who for any number of reasons, are difficult negotiators. • The difficulty may be intentional: • the result of a clear strategic, behavioral, or philosophical choice by the other party • The difficulty may be due to inadequate skill: • the other party doesn’t see any value or potential for a collaborative approach or doesn’t know how to craft and pursue such an approach ©2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved

Managing the Shadow Negotiation and Social Context • Shadow negotiation occurs in parallel with the substantive negotiation and is concerned with how the negotiation will proceed • What ground the negotiation is going to cover • How the negotiators are going to work together • The result of the shadow negotiation is a social contract regarding • How the negotiation will proceed • Who has influence and power • What the boundaries of the negotiation are ©2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved

Strategic Levers to Help Navigate the Shadow Negotiation • Power moves: designed to bring bargainers back to the table • Three kinds of power moves • Incentives – draw the attention to the importance of the negotiation • Pressure tactics – lead the other party to realize that the status quo is unacceptable • Enlistment of allies – help the other party see the advantage of negotiating ©2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved

Strategic Levers to Help Navigate the Shadow Negotiation • Process moves: designed to alter the negotiation process itself through adjustments to the agenda, sequencing, decision rules, and the like • Appreciative moves: designed to break cycles of contentiousness that may have led to deteriorating communication, acrimony, or even silence ©2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved

Responding to the Other Side’s Hard Distributive Tactics • Call them on it • Ignore them • Respond in kind • Offer to change to more productive methods ©2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved

Responding When the Other Side Has More Power Power imbalances in negotiation represent clear dangers to the satisfaction of the needs of both parties and to the collaborative process • High-power parties tend to pay little heed to the needs of low-power parties • Low-power parties are not usually in a position to trigger and advance in integrative process ©2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved

Responding When the Other Side Has More Power Negotiators can: • Protect themselves • Keep in mind their real interests • Negotiation may be the preferred approach to achieve those interests • Excessive accommodation to the high-power party will not serve them well over the long term • Cultivate their best alternative (BATNA) • Lack of a BATNA gives negotiators less power and limits what they can achieve ©2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved

Responding When the Other Side Has More Power • Formulate a “trip wire alert system” • An early warning signal when bargaining gets close to the walkaway point or the BATNA • Correct the power imbalance • Three approaches • Low-power parties taking power • High-power parties giving power • Third parties managing the transfer and balance of power ©2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved

The Special Problem ofHandling Ultimatums • Ultimatums attempt “to induce compliance or force concessions” • They typically have three components: • A demand • An attempt to create a sense of urgency, such that compliance is required • A threat of punishment if compliance does not occur ©2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved

The Special Problem ofHandling Ultimatums A type of ultimatum is the “exploding offer” • Components of an exploding offer include: • Specific time limit or deadline attached to it • Clear asymmetry of power between the parties • Pressure-inducing test of faith for the receiver • Lack of consideration and respect for the offerer by the respondent • Apparent lack of good faith on the offerer’s part • It can be diffused by “embracing it” ©2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved

Responding When the Other Side Is Being Difficult When the other side presents a pattern of clear difficult behavior, two possibilities exist: • The negotiator does not know any other way to negotiate, but might be responsive to suggestions for changing his or her behavior • The other party has a difficulty personality and his or her behavior is consistent within and outside the negotiation context ©2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved

Responding When the Other Side Is Being Difficult Ury’s breakthrough approach • Step 1: Don’t react—go to the balcony • Step 2: Disarm them—step to their side • Step 3: Change the game—don’t reject, reframe • Step 4: Make it easy to say yes—build them a golden bridge • Step 5: Make it hard to say no—bring them to their senses, not their knees ©2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved

Responding When the Other Side Is Being Difficult • Step 1: Don’t react—go to the balcony • Psychologically remove self from the interaction. • Step 2: Disarm them—step to their side • Act counterintuitively—deflect or sidestep the other party’s negativeness • Disarm them using positive, constructive communication • Step 3: Change the game—don’t reject, reframe • Change the negotiation by proactively reframing their tactics ©2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved

Responding When the Other Side Is Being Difficult • Step 4: Make it easy to say “yes”—build them a golden bridge • Entice the other party to cross over to agreement by • Involving him or her in the design of an agreement • Satisfying his or her unmet needs • Recognizing and being empathetic to their demands and expectations • Helping him or her to save face with constituencies • Walking them through complex agreements step by step • Not demanding closure until everyone is ready ©2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved

Responding When the Other Side Is Being Difficult • Step 5: Make it hard to say no—bring them to their senses, not their knees • Strengthen one’s BATNA • Help the other party think about the consequences of not reaching agreement • If necessary, use one’s own BATNA • Keep sharpening the other’s choice—refer to the attractive terms and focus on the advantages of completing the deal • Fashion a lasting agreement ©2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved

Points to Remember when Responding to Difficult People • Everyone can exhibit difficult behaviors or be difficult to deal with at times; some people are invariably difficult • What is difficult behavior to one person may not be difficult for another • Difficult people behave the way they do because it achieves results for them • Difficult people may continue their behavior because they honestly are not aware of the long-term costs to people and organizations that must contend with them ©2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved

Having Conversations with Difficult People • Preparation • Understand one’s own comfort level and know how one reacts to different difficult conversations • Managing the conversation involves three elements • Clarity: use language that is as precise as possible • Tone: strike a neutral tone when have a stressful conversation • Temperate phrasing: choose language carefully to delivery a message that will not provide the other side ©2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved

Having Conversations with Difficult People • Visualize in your mind how the conversation will go • Practice the upcoming difficult conversation with a neutral party • Construct a team that has broad experience in dealing with difficult others ©2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN