Bully-Proofing Your School

1. Bully-Proofing Your School “School bullying is everyone’s business…unrealistic to expect..eliminated totally…but if everyone…is truly committed…there is solid evidence that the amount and severity can be reduced dramatically.” from Bullying in American Schools by Anne G. Garrett

2. The Caring Community • It’s Not about “fixing” the bullies • Mobilizing the majority (bystanders) • Making bullying unacceptable • Requires full climate change • Includes staff, parents, and students • Uses teachable moments to enhance learning

3. 4 Central Program Concepts • Systemic, comprehensive • Focus on climate change • Teaches skills and strategies • Emphasis on Caring Community

4. OUTCOME • BULLIES • Lose power position • Fewer behavior problems • Change in thinking errors • May stay out of criminal justice system later in life • Some become positive leaders in peer group • VICTIMS • Decreased vulnerability • Greater self-esteem • More friends • Protected by staff • Decreased self-blame • Less risk of repeated victimization • SCHOOL ENVIRONMENT • Increased sense of safety • Decreased bullying • Improved academics • Improved school climate • CARING COMMUNITY • OF STUDENTS • Recognition for caring behaviors • Empowered to affect change • More empathy and compassion for others • TEACHERS/STAFF • Fewer behavior management problems • Increased awareness of normal conflict vs. bullying • Creation of adult caring community • PARENTAL COMMUNITY • Improved sense of security • Responsiveness from school • Mutuality in reinforcing good values • Sense of community within the school

5. Definition of Bullying: A person is being bullied or victimized when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more persons. (Olweus, l991).

6. Key Elements of Bullying • Imbalance of power • Repeated • Intentional • Unequal levels of affect *

7. Normal Conflict vs. Bullying NORMAL CONFLICT VS. BULLYING Equal power/friends Imbalance of power/not friends Happens occasionally Repeated negative actions Accidental Purposeful Not serious Serious threat of physical/emotional harm Equal emotional reaction Strong emotional reaction from victim; little or no reaction from bully Not seeking power/attention Seeking power/control Not trying to get something Attempt to gain power/material things Remorse - takes responsibility No remorse - blames victim Effort to solve the problem No effort to solve problem

8. Types of Bullying • Physical aggression • Social aggression • Verbal aggression • Intimidation • Written aggression • Sexual harassment • Racial and cultural (ethnic) harassment • Cyber Bullying

9. Strategies with Bullies • Use no nonsense style • Utilize prosocial consequences • Give concise descriptions of unacceptable behavior & consequences • Do not have a long discussion of the situation • Correct the bully's thinking errors • Identify the victim's emotions • Build empathy for the victim • Re-channel power - do not try to suppress • Establish the school culture through the efforts of a caring community

10. Types of Victims Passive victim Provocative victim Vicarious victim *

11. THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL OF VICTIMIZATION repeated bullying lowered self esteem more ineffective responses more bullying increased disapproval/avoidance by peers self-blaming, “I deserve it” helplessness more bullying

12. Strategies with Victims • Use a supportive, fear reducing style • Reduce self-blame by clear identification of cruel behavior • Demonstrate compassion and empathy • Focus on assertiveness training and social skill building • Practice and reinforce HA HA SO strategies • Connect victim to helpful peers • Mobilize caring community in the classroom

13. TattlingTelling unimportant vs. important harmless vs. harmful or dangerous physically or psychologically can handle by self vs. need help from an adult to solve purpose is to get vs. purpose is to keep people safe someone in trouble behavior is accidental vs. behavior is purposeful

14. BYSTANDERS • Most ignored and underused resource in our schools • Approx. 85% of a school population – the “silent majority” • Become desensitized over time – diminished empathy WHY DON’T THEY GET INVOLVED? • Fear of retaliation • Don’t know what to do • Afraid they’ll make things worse • Worry about losing social status • Don’t believe that adults will help • Don’t believe it is their responsibility Silent Majority Caring Majority CARING COMMUNITY

15. Strategies for Bystanders • Normalize fears and worries • Emphasize strength in numbers • Communicate the expectation to take action • Teach skills and strategies to take a stand • Acknowledge and reward caring behaviors

16. TAKING A STAND “TAKING A STAND: Any positive behavior that supports the caring majority or caring community.” LEVELS OF RISK INVOLVED IN TAKING A STAND LOW MEDIUM HIGH

17. Faulty Assumptions • This program has to work for everyone. • All will be well once this program is in place. • This program has to work immediately. • This will work for the most difficult children. • If a child is not bleeding or dying, all must be fine. • If only such and such (parents would get involved, principal would punish, etc.) would happen, then all would be fine. • Kids will just treat each other meanly.

18. Cyber Bullying • 42% of kids have been bullied while online. 1 in 4 have had it happen more than once. • 35% of kids have been threatened online. Nearly 1 in 5 have had it happen more than once. • 21% of kids have received mean or threatening e-mail or other messages. • 58% of kids admit someone has said mean or hurtful things to them online. More than 4 out of 10 say it has happened more than once. • 53% of kids admit having said something mean or hurtful to another person online. More than 1 in 3 have done it more than once. • 58% have not told their parents or an adult about something mean or hurtful that happened to them online. Based on 2004 i-SAFE survey of 1,500 students grades 4-8

19. CARING COMMUNITY DEVELOPMENT GUIDING PRINCIPLES FOR DEVELOPING AND MAINTAINING THE CARING COMMUNITY • Clearly Define Caring Community Behaviors • Recognize and Reinforce Caring Community Behaviors • Conduct Weekly Classroom Meetings • Capitalize on Teachable Moments • Utilize Curriculum Infusion Activities