Bully-Proofing Your School

Bully-Proofing Your School Session 3: Staff Interaction

Shifting Gears Bully-Proofing Your School As you enter, complete the Following… Conflict Resolution Questionnaire (On Moodle) • Learning Goal • Learners will understand and be able to effectively implement a bully-proofing program. Benchmarks: Key Terms, Conflict Resolution Styles I-V, Silent Majority, Caring Majority, Caring Community 2013 - 2014 Learners will observe students on campus and in the classrooms to determine conflicts as normal peer interaction or bullying. Use the best Conflict Resolution Style to resolve conflicts. Community will observe and support children and staff. Objectives Reflect on your new learning and how you will implement it. Sum-It-Up Essential Question: What type Conflict Resolution Style do you have? Does your style change based on situations? Or students? How can we make a caring majority school? NEXT STEPS: Session 4: Scenarios; Session 5: Program Strategies, Consequences, and Reinforcements; Session 6: Planning Your Own School-Wide Program; Implementation Common Language: • Bullying, Passive Victim, Provocative Victim, Bully-Victim, Bystanders, Silent Majority, Caring Majority, Caring Community

Most teachers have little control over school policy or curriculum or choice of texts or special placement of students, but most have a great deal of autonomy inside the classroom. To a degree shared by only a few other occupations, such as police work, public education rests precariously on the skill and virtue of the people at the bottom of the institutional pyramid. Tracy Kidder

Goal: • To help staff members identify the predominant manner in which they typically interact with children and conflict on a daily basis and to introduce guidelines for intervention in “bully-proofing” the school. • Secondly, to introduce the process of changing a silent majority into a caring community. • Within this goal, conflicts are viewed as teachable moments or opportunities for both staff members and students to take positive steps.

Large Group Discussion: • Divide staff into large groups. (Grade levels, teams, areas on campus you work, transportation, etc.) • Discuss and review current rules and discipline policies in effect in the areas of the school in which you work. • Begin to identify any problem areas. • (Moodle: Discussion board, post thoughts and responses to others • CAMPUS; Outside Expectations • TABLES; Cafeteria Expectations • CLASS; Classroom Expectations • WALKS; Hallway Expectations • STAIRS; Stairway & Stage Expectations • ELC • Transportation; Bus Riders, Car Riders, Walkers • Others

Conflict Resolution Styles (CRS) • Recognizing the individual abilities and feelings of staff members in dealing with aggressive acts is fundamental. • Acknowledging the different styles and comfort levels staff members have in dealing with aggression and conflict helps to create an atmosphere of supportive teamwork. • Each staff member has her or his own contribution. • Acknowledging that all roles are necessary, as opposed to believing that there is only one right role, is essential. • Building a team approach of lateral support based on trust is the goal.

Small Group Discussion: CRS • Divide into smaller groups of five to six. (Teams) • Complete and score “The Conflict Resolution Questionnaire” per person. (Moodle: Quiz) • What’s Your Style? (Play “That’s Me!”) (Moodle: Take Quiz and Score Results. Enter your style in a discussion board. Post following topics in Moodle as well.) • Share your results with your team. • What are your strengths in dealing with bullies and/or the victimized children. • Identify areas in which you feel you need support from other staff members. • Determine which team members are the same or different. Work together and support each other to help the children. • Discuss issues that have come up in your areas; classroom, cafeteria, specials, recess, transportation, etc.)

Whole Group Discussion: • Share your conflict resolution styles with the whole group. It is helpful to have a variety of styles. (Play “That’s Me!”) • Determine who on your team and on campus you can help to support and those that can help support you. • Discuss all five of the predominant conflict resolution styles. (Moodle: Discussion Forum) • Understand the styles that differ from your own. • Recognizing the individual abilities and feelings of staff members in dealing with aggressive acts is fundamental.

I've come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the classroom. It's my daily mood that makes the weather. As a teacher, I possess a tremendous power to make a child's life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a child humanized or de-humanized. ~ Dr. Haim Ginott

Conflict Resolution Styles • The No-Nonsense Approach • I try to be fair and honest with the children, but I believe that they need firm guidance in learning what’s acceptable behavior and what isn’t. If their behavior is unacceptable, I threaten with consequences or follow through with consequences. • The Problem Solving Approach • If there’s a conflict, I feel there is a problem. Instead of battling with the children, I try to set up a situation in which we can all solve the problem together. This produces creative ideas and stronger relationships.

Conflict Resolution Styles • The Compromising Approach • I listen to the children and help them to listen to each other. Then I help them give a little. I believe that children need to learn that they can’t always have everything they want when they want it. • The Smoothing Approach • I prefer that situations stay calm and peaceful whenever possible. Most of the conflicts the children get into are relatively minor, so I just divert their attention to other things.

Conflict Resolution Styles • The Ignoring Approach • I point out the limits and let the children work things out for themselves. It is good for them to learn the consequences on their own for their behavior. • (Note: You may float between approaches depending on the situation and the students.)

Conflict Resolution Styles (CRS) • Recognizing the individual abilities and feelings of staff members in dealing with aggressive acts is fundamental. • Acknowledging the different styles and comfort levels staff members have in dealing with aggression and conflict helps to create an atmosphere of supportive teamwork. • Each staff member has her or his own contribution. • Acknowledging that all roles are necessary, as opposed to believing that there is only one right role, is essential. • Building a team approach of lateral support based on trust is the goal.

Conflict Resolution Styles & Goals of the Program • For a successful program, each staff member must feel supported and comfortable in carrying out the policy. • Some staff members may feel intimidated by high conflict or aggressive situations. • No one will be expected to handle a situation that she or he feels extremely uncomfortable about or unskilled or manage. • Some staff may be excellent at comforting a victimized child, but frightened of confronting an aggressive child.

Conflict Resolution Styles & Goals of the Program • Other staff may be authoritarian and no-nonsense in their approach, but lacking in an empathetic response to victimized children. • Those with a no-nonsense approach are often excellent at intervening with the bullies. • The greatest benefit will be realized if each staff member’s individual strengths are identified and a cooperative effort is employed by all in enforcing the school’s policy position on bullying.

One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feelings. The curriculum is so much necessary raw material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child. Carl Jung

Developmental Guide to Conflict Resolution • 1st Grade • Typical Conflict: Conflict likely over toys, possessions (“It’s mine.”), going first • Preferred Styles of Resolution: Action oriented; Separate the children; Change the topic; No-Nonsense or Smoothing • 1stand 2ndGrades • Typical Conflict: Selfishness, wanting own way; Threatening with tattling or not playing with again (“I’m not inviting you to my birthday.”) • Preferred Styles of Resolution: Undo what the offender did; No-Nonsense or Problem Solving

Developmental Guide to Conflict Resolution • 3rd , 4th, and 5thGrades • Typical Conflict: What’s fair and what isn’t, Teasing, gossiping, feeling superior; Putting down, accusing of something not true or distorted • Preferred Styles of Resolution: Beginning stage of understanding others’ intentions: mutual negotiation possible with help • 5thand 6thGrades • Typical Conflict: Bossiness, tattling, put-downs, showing off, betrayal • Preferred Styles of Resolution: Compromise can be used: empathy possible at this age; Talking things out, even if no compromise is reached; Ignoring (only if minor problem) or Compromising

Staff Members: • It is essential that staff members take care to examine their relationships with one another within the school. • It is important that staff supports each other and develop a caring community among themselves. Team Work is Essential!

As a general rule, teachers teach more by what they are than by what they say. Unknown

Next Session: Scenarios • In the next session, staff members will practice intervening in specific types of bullying situations by designing interventions and discovering strategies that work and do not work. The strategies can be incorporated into the school-wide plan to be developed in Session 6. “The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.” ~ Albert Einstein

Bully-Proofing Your School