HOT • It was hot. It was like a million degrees. I was sweaty. I felt terrible. I wanted to go swimming. It was the hottest day of the year. • What do you notice?
Sherman Alexiefrom The Absolutely True Diary of a Part time Indian • What do you notice? • What gives the passage energy? • What is the passage showing?
Jacqueline Kelly from The Evolution of Calpurnia Tate By 1899 we had leaned to tame the darkness but not the Texas heat. We arose in the dark, hours before sunrise, when there was barely a smudge of indigo along the eastern sky and the rest of the horizon was still pure pitch. We lit our kerosene lamps and carried them before us in the dark like our own tiny wavering suns. There was a full day’s work to be done before noon, when the deadly heat drove everyone back into our big shuttered house and we lay down in the dim high-ceilinged rooms like sweating victims. At three o’clock, when it was time to get up again, the temperature was still killing. *What do you notice? *What is it showing? *How is the passage different than the one by Alexie? *Which has more energy?
Fitzgerald, From The Great Gatsby • Pg. 114:The next day was broiling, almost the last, certainly the warmest, of the summer. As my train emerged from the tunnel into sunlight, only the hot whistles of the National Biscuit company broke the simmering hush at noon. The straw seats of the car hovered on the edge of combustion; the woman next to me perspired delicately for a while into her white shirtwaist, and then, as her newspaper dampened under her fingers, lapsed despairingly into deep heat with a desolate cry. • What do you notice? • How is this passage different from the others? • How does this passage have energy?
Journal: Showing Vs. TellingGiving your writing more energy! • Now write your own showing piece in your journal. • You have some options here, you can either: • Look through your portfolio and choose a piece of writing that you know you could have given more energy by showing more instead of telling. Take a part of that writing and energize it with some showing (use ideas from the examples we discussed) • OR: look at the writing you brought for your WRG today, can your writing use more energy by showing more? Re-write part of your WRG for today by showing instead of telling. • OR: write a showing paragraph for the phrase “She was mad” • OR: Make up your own showing paragraph using any showing prompt you would like to