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Couples Building Rock Solid Marriages

Couples Building Rock Solid Marriages. TRADEMARKS. Intro. New Couples Announcements Prayer. What’s coming…. March 13 – Sherry: Seiko March 20 – Dave: Nike March 27 – Sherry: GAP April 3 – Marriage panel Sunday April 10 - Small Group Sunday April 17 – NO Class – Marriage Retreat

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Couples Building Rock Solid Marriages

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  1. Couples Building Rock Solid Marriages TRADEMARKS

  2. Intro New Couples Announcements Prayer

  3. What’s coming…. • March 13 – Sherry: Seiko • March 20 – Dave: Nike • March 27 – Sherry: GAP • April 3 – Marriage panel Sunday • April 10 - Small Group Sunday • April 17 – NO Class – Marriage Retreat • April 24 – EASTER @Comfort Dental Amphitheater • May 1 – Dave: Capital One • May 8 – ?????? • May 15 – Love in Action Sunday (State Farm) • May 22 Closing Sunday

  4. Get Together

  5. Get Together The gaps created by life’s struggles: James 1:2-5 • 4Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. • 5-8If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help.

  6. The gap between loves When we rub against our spouse it shows….leaks out You don’t see what is in there until you get bumped - tea pot Spouses bump us – the relationships that are the deepest reveal the most. What comes out is what is in there: baggage We all blame the person we love the most for what is in us. What is inside of you comes out in relationships most important to you. Gap management now has long term effect

  7. So what do we do… Above all else, guard your heart,    for everything you do flows from it. --------------- Keep vigilant watch over your heart;    that's where life starts.Proverbs 4:23

  8. At your tables: Why would Solomon place such a high value on guarding your heart? What are three things that you currently do that you dislike? What does that say about your heart? How do you guard your heart?

  9. So what do we do… Getting to what is inside of us verses monitoring our spouses behavior. The cycle and the past. Is the tipping pointy getting closer/lower? Baggage never just falls off the wagon The condition of our heart is much more key than the behavior of our spouse.

  10. As a Couple • What are some things/experiences that have contributed to your baggage?

  11. Begin to identify what is coming out • Being able to be specific and identify an emotion • Communicate that emotion

  12. 5And He who sits on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new " And He said, "Write, for these words are faithful and true." Rev 21:5 • 10"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” • John 10:10

  13. Design Your Time

  14. The love Chapter Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Cor 13:4-7

  15. At Your Tables: How does love Hope – Bears – Believes – Endures all things?

  16. 2nd kind of GAPS • The ones we create from unmet expectations.

  17. How Do The Gaps Happen? Are you a person of high expectations of something or somebody? Is there constantly a gap between what you expect of someone and what they actually are doing?

  18. We develop an attitude or maybe an opinion when there is a gap What do you put in the gap? Believe the best Assume the worst?

  19. People who stay in Love… Believe the best

  20. “The One Thing You Need to Know” by Marcus Buckingham Studies successful marriage relationships. Unhappy relationships = misunderstanding/disconnect Successful Couple = unrealistic view of their spouse – rated them higher in areas than the spouse viewed themselves. Love is a bit blind! Spouse with a positive illusion created an upward spiral of love The illusion created security (trust this person) The security fostered intimacy And the intimacy fostered love

  21. What to do…. • Discuss at your tables • What does it look like to find the most generous explanation for each other’s behavior. • She’s not impatient…she’s just intense • He’s not late…he’s just being attentive to what is important.

  22. Why???? • Every time you choose to go negative you contribute to the demise of your relationship. You become a participant in this…..even when you are right. • Our hearts are drawn to an environment of acceptance. • Gaps are opportunities to leverage love…..BE IN LOVE! • Show the world the love of Christ…leave a better legacy!

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