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POSITIVE DISCIPLINE. WHAT IS DISCIPLINE?. VALUE LINE ACTIVITY:. *__________________________________* Spanking is effective I don’t believe in spanking Mark where you stand on this line on a piece of paper and list reasons for you stance on this issue.
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POSITIVE DISCIPLINE WHAT IS DISCIPLINE?
VALUE LINE ACTIVITY: *__________________________________* Spanking is effective I don’t believe in spanking • Mark where you stand on this line on a piece of paper and list reasons for you stance on this issue. • Students will make a line in the hall according to where they stand on this issue. • Teacher will wrap the line so those who are at opposites on the issue are paired up. Discuss with paired partner. See if anyone has a change of heart.
WHAT ABOUT SPANKING? • It is a physical assault on a child. • It teaches children to deal with life in a physical way. Can lead to child abuse. • It teaches outer control, and only stops the behavior for a short time. Creates feelings of hatred and revenge.
DISCIPLINE “OK, here are your options: jump and discover the joy of flight, or don’t jump and I kick your butt out of the tree. What kind of parenting is this?
TYPES OF PARENTING: • AUTHORITARIAN: • External Control • Punishment • Order without freedom Creates rebellion or submission/dependence
3 R’s of punishment: • RESENTMENT • REVENGE • RETREAT • Low self esteem • Sneaky
Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make a child do better, first we have to make them feel worse.
Children do better when they feel better!
TYPES OF PARENTING: • PERMISSIVE: • Freedom without order • No restriction, rules, • No consequences Creates a manipulative personality, aggression, and independence.
TYPES OF PARENTING: • AUTHORITATIVE (Democratic): • Mutual Respect • Cooperation • Freedom with Order Creates a self disciplined child who is responsible for own actions.
WHY DO CHILDREN MISBEHAVE? • A misbehaving child is a discouraged child. Why?
MISBEHAVIOR: • Is based on a child’s mistaken interpretation of how to find BELONGING & SIGNIFICANCE!
4 GOALS OF MISTAKEN BEHAVIOR: 1. Attention 2. Power 3. Revenge 4. Give-up
Solution to All Misbehavior: Spend special time With the child each Day! How much?
Solution to Attention Problems: • Ignore if possible • Give attention when good • Redirect • Logical consequences • Choices
Solution to Power Problems: • Withdraw • Cool off, • Problem solve together • Win cooperation • Act
4 Steps for Winning Cooperation: • Get into child’s world • Check it out • Show understanding • Share your feelings • Find a solution together
Solution to Revenge Problems: • Withdraw from revenge cycle • Win child over • Solve the problem • Take away items they could destroy • Apologize if needed
Solution to Inadequacy Problems: • Avoid pity • Encourage & train • Create small successes • Don’t give up
Believe that children are basically GOOD! • What do you see below? FLY
TIMING: • It is impossible to solve problems at the time of CONFLICT!
LISTEN FIRST: • Children will listen to you after they feel listed to.
NATURAL & LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES: • NATURAL: Simply happen naturally • No coat = cold • LOGICAL: Are decided upon and imposed by parents or teachers
LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES: • One needs to be: • Firm • Calm • Positive toward child
3 R’S OF LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES: • RELATED • RESPECTFUL • RESONABLE
TIME OUT: An alternative to spanking. • Gives child time to calm down & time to think about the correct way to act. • Child is moved away from others – an effective consequence. Only use if child is out of control, hurting others or destroying things.
TIME OUT GUIDELINES: • Choose a location that is dull and away from others. • Use time out immediately after misbehavior occurs. • Length of time = 1 minute for each year of age. • Don’t’ talk to child until afterwards (Make sure they understand the “WHY”). • Reward good behavior after time out, as soon as they do something positive.
DISCIPLINE STEPS: • Redirect • Check it out • Speak to the child about the problem • Give choices • Use logical or natural consequences • Use time out if still out of control
CLASSROOM DISCIPLINE: • Have rules and remind them often Read: “Children want fences
KEEP RULES SHORT & SIMPLE • Be nice to teacher and classmates • Raise hand to speak 3. Walk in halls
CLASSROOM DISCIPLINE cont’d • Be silent or whisper • Resist giving attention to the disruptor • “Someone is disturbing the class” • Move closer, place hand on shoulder • Involve them • Talk privately • “What can I do to get your help?”
FORBIDDEN DISCIPLINE ACTIONS: • SPANKING • SLAPPING • HITTING • SHAKING • PULLING • PINCHING • NO TEASING • NO HUMILIATION • NO INSULTS • NO THREATENING • NO FRIGHTENING • NO LAUGHING AT Confirmed incidents will be grounds for immediate dismissal from a childcare job.
ALWAYS REMEMBER: • MISTAKES R WUNDERFULL OPPERTUNITEEZ 2 LERN! • Recognize your mistake • Reconcile “I’m sorry” • Resolve: Focus on solutions rather than blame.
YOU TEACH WHAT YOU ARE: • WHAT ARE YOU?