What I Will Learn • A clearer understanding of discipline and appropriate limits. • Styles of parenting and individual parenting style. • Effective discipline techniques.
A Definition of Discipline • Discipline is a set of rules that govern a person's behavior and conduct. • The process of shaping and molding a child’s attitudes and behaviors over the years.
Effective Discipline • Teaches • What to do • Problem-solving • Appropriate interactions • Self-discipline • Promotes growth • Enhances self concept • Helps children internalize
A Definition of Punishment Punishment defined as imposing external controls by force on children to change their behavior.
Types of Punishment • Inflicting pain • Imposing suffering • Enforcing unrelated penalties • Personal or emotional attacks
Why Punish ? • The misbehavior often stops immediately • Children often show remorse during punishment • The parent gets to blow off steam • The parent feels in control • The parent hasn't let the children "get away with it" • The parent was raised that way
Strict • Demands continuously • Punishes harshly • Values obedience • Discourages independence and individuality • Exercises physical punishment • Resorts to yelling and threatening • Does not allow reasonable choices to the child
The Child Raised in a Strict Home • May lack spontaneity, curiosity and creativity • Often have limited independence and assertiveness • Don’t learn how to decide for themselves • Not sure how to behave and depend instead on others for their sense of control • May have low self-esteem • May be aggressive and defiant
Permissive • Sets no guidelines • Asserts no authority • Remains distant • Remains uninvolved • Uses excuses for not spending quality time with child • Gives the child too much • Low on making demands • Have little structure • Parent who is substance abuser or immature
The Child Raised in a Permissive Home • Learns little self-control • Immature • May be aggressive at home • May behave irresponsibly • Low self-esteem • Delayed emotional development • Little ability to handle frustrations • School skippers • Turn to Drugs • May Break Law in their search for attention
Moderate • Sets reasonable standards • Has reasonable expectations • Encourages independence and individuality • Enforces rules firmly and consistently • Allows choices • Builds a more democratic relationship • Recognizes individual rights
The Child Raised in a Moderate/Flexible Home • Responsible • Independent • High self-esteem and confidence • Better able to control their aggression
Ages and Stages of Children • understand your child's major job at different ages. • not expect too much from your child too soon (like expecting a three-year old to tie his shoes) • prevent serious problems • provide safe ways for your child to do her job and be ready to move on to the next stage. Knowing Ages and Stages Helps you
Reasons Children Misbehave • Attention • Power • Revenge • Inadequacy
Steps in Positive Discipline • Ignore minor, irritating behavior • Praise and reward positive behavior • Be specific with praise • Work with the child to set basic rules • Decide together what consequences will result from breaking the rules • Use consequences consistently and calmly when rules are broken
Anticipate trouble Give gentle reminders early Offer choices Overlook small annoyances Discipline Techniques
Fix-up Ignore Be Firm Stay in control Separation Behavior management Redirection Praise Discipline Techniques
What is it they really need from you? I tried to teach my child with books He only gave me puzzled looks I tried to teach my child with words They passed him by often unheard Despairingly I turned aside "How shall I teach this child?" I cried Into my hand, he put the key "Come, he said, play with me."