Positive Guidance and Discipline
Reasons for Misbehavior • Stage of Growth: the child is behaving in a normal manner for the stage of growth he/she is in: power, attention, revenge • Unfulfilled Needs: The child’s needs are not being met and she/he is acting out in order to try to get his/her needs met.
Reasons for Misbehavior • Environment: The child is uncomfortable in or does not understand his/her environment. • Doesn’t know Better: The child has not been taught the concept he/she is dealing with.
Positive Guidance • Consistency is the key to guidance • Self-discipline: ability to direct one’s own behavior • Attention is a powerful “reinforcer” to guide children • Children may rebel when parents punish rather than discipline • Example: is a very effective way to teach children desired behavior • Respond to aggressive behavior in non-aggressive ways • Discipline: guidance which helps the child learn self-control Guidance also depends on Parenting Styles
Types of Guidance Techniques
1. Natural and Logical Consequences “Cause and effect” • Natural Consequences: • Occur without interference, child can see the result of their choices • Short in duration, provide opportunities for children to learn from their behavior • Cannot be used if the consequence will cause harm to self, others or property, or too far in the future! • Logical Consequences: • Should be relevant to the misbehavior • To make the punishment fit the crime. • Example: if Sally spills the paint, she must clean up the mess that is made
2. Positive Statements • Clearly states what is expected, then help them get started • Talk to children at their eye level when giving directions • When guiding children, phrase all requests in a positive manner • Example: say, “Let’s walk to the blocks,” rather than, “Don’t run to the blocks”
“Being Positive” Activity
3. Redirection • Getting a child to focus on something else. • Children up to two years old can be easily distracted • Example: If a child is angry at the blocks area, lead them to a different area of the room and introduce a different activity
4. Reverse Attention • Ignoring the negative, reinforcing the positive • When a child’s behavior is inappropriate, focus on a child who is displaying the appropriate behavior and make a positive comment • If the first child changes his behavior, he should be immediately reinforced with a positive statement. • Example: Green journal sheets, preschoolers during group time
5. Limited Choices • Giving a child several options to choose from • Do not give him an unlimited choice unless he can really have what is chosen. • Only give choices that are available. • Example: “Do you want juice or water for a drink?” rather than, ‘What would you like to drink?”
Use a place where there are no distractions or positive “reinforcers” 6. Time Out • When a child has disobeyed a rule, she will be sent to a predetermined place to distance herself from the problem and gain composure. • Should be a last option, limited use.
Journal • What issues do parents face in today’s society?
Internet/computer – time • Sexual Predators • Economy • Children and independency • Money/Finance issues – cost of living • Mall “Laws” • Curfews • Parents working – two jobs • Single-Parents – making it all work • Drug/Alcohol use – either parent or child • Role Models – Jamie Lynn Spears • Cell Phones • Teen Pregnancy • Academics with children – staying up with it • Unemployment Rates increasing – losing jobs • Kids clothing/makeup/tattoos/piercings – rebelling in gen. • Kids and driving • Obesity • Suicide • Teen dating
Parenting Styles
Authoritarian • Permissive • Democratic/Authoritative • Rejecting/Neglecting
Authoritarian Low Love, High Limits • Parents’ word is law, parents have absolute control. • Misconduct is punished • Affection and praise are rarely give • Parents try to control children's’ behavior and attitudes • They value unquestioned obedience • Children are told what to do, how to do it, and where to do it, and when to do it.
Obedient Distrustful Discontent Withdrawn Unhappy Hostile Not High Achievers Often Rebel Children from authoritarian homes are so strictly controlled, either by punishment or guilt, that they are often prevented from making a conscious choice about particular behaviors because they are overly concerned about what their parents will do. Outcomes of Authoritarian Style
Permissive High Love, Low Limits Parents allow their children to do their own thing. Little respect for order and routine. Parents make few demands on children. Impatience is hidden. Discipline is lax Parents are resources rather than standard makers Rarely punish Non controlling, non-demanding Usually warm Children walk all over the parents
Aggressive Least self—reliant Least self-controlled Least exploratory Most unhappy Children from permissive homes receive so little guidance that they often become uncertain and anxious about whether they are doing the right thing. Outcome of Permissive Parenting
Democratic/Authoritative High Love, High Limits • Middle ground between the two above • Stress freedom along with rights of others and responsibilities of all • Parents set limits and enforce rules • Willing to listen receptively to child’s requests and questions. • Both loves and limits • Children contribute to discussion of issues and make some of their own decisions • Exert firm control when necessary, but explain reasoning behind it. • Respect children’s interest, opinions, unique personalities. • Loving, consistent, demanding • Combine control with encouragement • Reasonable expectations and realistic standards.
Happy Mostly self-reliant Mostly self-controlled Content, friendly, generous Cooperative High-achiever’ Less likely to be seriously disruptive or delinquent Children whose parents expect them to perform well, to fulfill commitments, and to participate actively in family duties, as well as family fun, learn how to formulate goals. They also experience the satisfaction that comes from meeting responsibilities and achieving success. Outcomes of Democratic Style
Rejecting/Neglecting Low Love, Low Limits
Rejecting/neglecting parents are low in both responsiveness and demandingness. It is generally thought of as uncaring and inadequate to meet the needs of children. Sometimes, it is referred to as the "indifferent parenting style" due to its lack of emotional involvement and supervision of children.
Case Study Application • In groups of three or four, develop a case study or story that fits each of the four parenting style. These stories should be 5-10 sentences. • Include: background of family, story, and outcomes of children.
Example: The Brown family has two parents and three children. Mr. Brown works long days, and when he comes home, he takes his stress out on his family by yelling at his children. He often tells his children that they are lucky they have a roof over their heads. One time, his oldest son tried talking back, and ended up getting double duty in the kitchen that night. Later, when that son went to college, he rebelled and was such a slob! When his parents would visit, he would freak out and shove everything into the closet to make it look like he lived in a clean environment. WHAT PARENTING STYLE DID THIS FAMILY USE?
Authoritarian
When you are done, you will be passing your stories to other groups and have them indicate what parenting style is applied for each of your four stories.
Include: • Brief introduction about the family • Parents and how they act/react • Outcomes of the children
