Positive Discipline Objectives: Discuss the meaning of discipline and the difference between discipline and punishment. Review, discuss and experience the three discipline styles. Discuss and practice the seven principles of positive discipline, using scenarios.
“Spilled Milk” You are sitting around a dinner table and two year old Johnny is present. Johnny’s mother gives the boy a tall glass of milk. Before dinner has even begun, Johnny reaches for the glass of milk and sends it tumbling over. Mommy patiently wipes it up and returns with another glass of milk.
Dinner begins and Johnny is still thirsty. Again, he reaches for his glass of milk and as he brings it to his mouth it spills all down the front of him. Mommy wipes up the milk and cleans up Johnny. Again Mommy fills the glass of milk and returns to her own plate.
Only seconds after Mommy has been seated, Johnny reaches for a roll and the glass of milk topples and spills. Mommy cleans it up and fills the glass again.
Just then Johnny decides he does not like squash and with a disgusted grunt he pushes his plate away, bumping the glass over one more time, spilling it all over the table and getting others wet this time. Mommy is embarrassed and apologizes to those present, then wipes up the mess and fills Johnny’s glass.
Johnny is getting tired and decides he does not want milk to drink but soda pop instead. When Mommy informs him that he will have to finish his dinner and his milk before getting soda pop, Johnny gets angry and throws the glass of milk on the floor, splashing milk all over everyone and the floor.
At what point in the story would you have become angered if you were a guest? • If you were the parent, at what point in the story would you have become angered? • What would you have done in this situation?
What is Discipline? • The task of helping children learn to behave in acceptable ways. • Discipline is a way of teaching and training what is OK and what is not • Teaching discipline leads to: • Self Discipline • Inner Control • The ability to self-regulate
What is Punishment? • It is what we to do to a child who knows a behavior is wrong and chooses to do it anyway. • It is the consequence of an action/behavior
Focus on Positive Discipline • Discipline is NOT a Dirty word! • Tell children what they can do • Help children feel lovable and capable • Offer acceptable choices (ones you can abide by) • Change the environment • Work with children, not against them • Give children safe limits they understand • Set a good example Skip Ahead
1. Tell Children What They CAN Do…. • Focus on the positive rather than the negative. • Replace: “Stop Running” with “Let’s Walk Inside” or “Shut up!” with “Mommy is talking, wait until she is finished and then you can talk when it is your turn”. Go Back
2. Help Children Feel Lovable and Capable • Protect and preserve children’s feelings • Assist a child in feeling capable of functioning in this world. • Provide support • Scaffolding • Encouragement • Have a YOU CAN DO IT attitude Go Back
3. Offer acceptable choices (ones you can abide by) • Allow the child to feel in control by offering acceptable choices. • Instead of “what would you like to do this evening?” which a child might respond, go out for ice cream, stay up late, etc. • SAY: “We can go outside and play for 30 minutes for you can do an arts and crafts project, which would you rather?” Others: Milk or Juice? Applesauce or Yogurt? This shirt or that one? Bath or Shower? 3 Books or 4 Books at bedtime? Go Back
4. Change the environment • Example: instead of saying “no, no” to many objects in the home, put the “no, no’s” up high where a child can explore safely. • A child is having trouble going to the potty on their own. Provide them with a stool to climb on or a removable potty seat. Go Back
5. Work with children, not against them. • Young children have no concept of time. It is the parents job to teach a child time management. • If your child is making you late (which they will), instead of yelling at them try helping them along. • Mommy will put on one of your shoes, then you can do the other one • See if you can beat me to the door, ready, set, go! • Watch the child to see if he/she is struggling: say: daddy sees that you are getting frustrated with that puzzle, can I help you find the corner pieces? Go Back
6. Give children safe limits they can understand. • Recognize a child’s feelings without accepting the negative behavior • Maintain your authority • “That knife is dangerously sharp, you may NOT use it. Let’s find one that would be safe. • Telling the child why a particular rule exists helps a child have a broader knowledge of safety and good behavior. Go Back
7. Set a good example • Speak and act only in ways you want children to speak and act. • Use kind words • Gentle touches (no hitting, grabbing, etc.) • Respect your child and teach them how to respect you and the world around them. Go Back
Characteristics of a Good Disciplinarian • A person children find interesting and full of good ideas • A person who is loving and helpful • A person who makes developmentally appropriate rules and help children understand and abide by them • A person who demonstrates appropriate behavior through speech and actions
Guidelines for Setting Limits • Show the child you understand their need/want/desire • Acknowledge their feelings • Make the decision or state the rule simply and clearly • Provide alternatives that are acceptable
Discipline Hint…. • Say what you mean • Mean what you say Do what you say you are going to do • Keep in mind: Insanity is…continuing to do the same thing and expecting to get different results!!!