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How to Raise Masculine Sons and Feminine Daughters

How to Raise Masculine Sons and Feminine Daughters. Chapter Nine. Chapter 8 -- Birth of a Tangent.

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How to Raise Masculine Sons and Feminine Daughters

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  1. How to Raise Masculine Sons and Feminine Daughters Chapter Nine

  2. Chapter 8 -- Birth of a Tangent • My wife and I have been blessed by three little lives that have given us more joy than all of the travel, gourmet food, BMWs and designer clothes that Gold can buy. May God bless you with as much joy! And may you be smart enough to recognize a good deal when you see it. And by the way…as long as you’re going to have one, you might as well go for two, three or four. I know you can’t afford it. But you’ll sure have a great time. You’ll also be very tired. But that’s all right. You can rest in heaven. • End of tangent

  3. Realizing our Children’s sexual identity is at stake • Confusion over the meaning of sexual personhood is epidemic…The consequence…is more divorce, more homosexuality, more sexual abuse, more promiscuity, …and more emotional distress and suicide that comes with the loss of God-given identity” • How would you feel if your child came home and said, “I’m gay” or “I’m pregnant” • How confident are you that your children will be able to avoid sexual sin? What are you actively doing right now to ensure they can and will?

  4. Realizing our Children’s sexual identity is at stake • If a prostitute, junkie or homosexual showed up on your doorstep and asked for ten hours a week with your children to talk about their lifestyle, would you let them in? • Are you letting them in through your television? • How will you change this?

  5. How to Raise a Homosexual • I pastored for ten years in the San Francisco Bay area and counseled with more than a few homosexuals. You would be surprised at how many can quote verse after verse from the Bible. It’s shocking to realize how many of them were raised in Christian homes…In every case I have seen where they were so raised, their fathers were either spiritually anorexic or bulimic” • Discuss

  6. How to Raise a Homosexual • How often do you pray for your kids’ moral purity and sexual identity? • Brainstorm as a group the ways you should and could be praying for these issues • Lev. 20:10-21 • Proverbs 5 • Philippians 4:8 • 1 Thess. 4:3-7 • 2 Tim. 2:20-22 • Hebrews 13:4

  7. Dad’s role in helping form right thinking on sex and gender roles • In gender role development, the evidence points to fathers as having the more important influence, not only in fostering a male self-concept in boys, but femininity in girls…” • What can you be doing to teach your children God’s view on sex and gender differences?

  8. Raising our Children in Fairness • Read Ephesians 6:1-4 and Colossians 3:21 • What does “not provoking” your children mean? • What are some common ways that we as parents provoke our children? • Hendriksen suggests: • Over-protection • favoritism • discouragement • forgetting that a child is growing up and has a right to have ideas of his own and does not need to be a photocopy of his father • Neglect • Bitter words and physical cruelty. • How do we need to respond when we do provoke our children?

  9. Raising our Children with Tenderness • Our boys and girls need dads who are tuned into them. They need dads who are interested in the stuff of their lives. They need dads who will listen before they spank. They need dads who will give them plenty of hugs and kisses. They need dads who will love their moms!

  10. Raising our Children with Tenderness • Most of us tend to think that tenderness isn’t very masculine. Why? • Who were some real men in the Bible who were tender? • Gen. 45:1-15; 2 Sam. 9; John 11:30-44; 1 Thess. 2:5-9 • Can you think of instances in which God has demonstrated His tenderness? • Isa. 40:9-11; Hosea 11:1-4; Psa. 104; 145:8-9; Luke 1:76-79; Eph. 4:32

  11. Raising our Children with Tenderness • Four Ways to Dispense Tenderness • Listen to them and respect their feelings • Clearly admit any wrongdoing toward them and ask their forgiveness • Listen to your wife’s input about each child • Be “high touch” and dispense liberal doses of encouragement to them • Which of these is the easiest for you? Hardest?

  12. Raising our Children with Firmness • A father’s task is many-sided, but the most important part of his work is to fit himself and his children into God’s plan of family authority…To refuse to discipline a child is to refuse a clear demand of God, for a child who doesn’t learn to obey both parents will find it much harder to learn to obey God. • Do you take the lead in discipline matters at home? • Most people tend towards one extreme (firmness or tenderness) how you can you know if you’re balanced?

  13. Raising our Children in Christ • Ephesians 6:4 … bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord • Deuteronomy 6:7-9, “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

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