Welcome!

1. Welcome! UPSTANDER, not Bystander What does that mean? Reflect…Respect…Respond! FEBRUARY 2012

2. "Everybody Hurts” by REM • When your day is long. . .And the night, the night is yours alone. . .When you're sure you've had enough. . .Of this life, well hang on • Don't let yourself go. . .'Cause everybody cries. . .And everybody hurts sometimes • Sometimes everything is wrong. . .Now it's time to sing along. ..When your day is night alone (Hold on, hold on). . .If you feel like letting go (Hold on). . .If you think you've had too much. . .Of this life, well hang on • Everybody hurts.. .Take comfort in your friends. . .Everybody hurts. . .Don't throw your hand, oh no • Don't throw your hand. . .If you feel like you're alone. . .No, no, no, you are not alone • If you're on your own in this life. . .The days and nights are long. . .When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on • Well, everybody hurts sometimes. . .Everybody cries. . .Everybody hurts sometimes. . .And everybody hurts sometimes • So hold on, hold on. . .Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. . .Everybody hurts

3. Assembly Objectives: • What do you think about your role as a student relevant to the climate of the school? • Distinguish between “Upstander” and “Bystander”. • Generate new ideas to respond to typical school scenarios…as an Upstander! • Exchange opinions, justify your thoughts, and propose alternatives to mean-spirited behavior. • What do you believe are some of the motives behind presenting a “Declaration of Peace” to the student body? Are you willing to take the pledge? • Using what you know, create and produce a Public Service Announcement to celebrate the “Upstander”.

4. Activity: Be the UPSTANDER! • Ground Rules: • One person talks at a time. • All group members listen respectfully to the speaker. • All responses are valued. • Activity Directions: • Read the scenario. • Discuss the scenario with peers. • Brainstorm possible responses. • Record responses on chart paper. • Select and circle top 2 responses to present and discuss.

5. Scenario 1 • In the halls between classes, Christina accidentally bumps into Maria. Maria gets angry and calls Christina fat. Everybody in the hall hears and starts to laugh. • Christina doesn’t know what to do and feels very embarrassed. • You are nearby at your locker and witnessed the whole incident. What do you do?

6. Scenario 2 • At least twice a week in the hallway Fred passes by George and punches him in the arm. George can’t figure out why Fred has a problem with him and why he gets punched for no reason. And to make matters worse, whoever is with Fred when he does this laughs as it happens. • George tells you what has been happening and says he feels that he cannot go to any teacher because Fred is a good student and all the teachers love him. • What could an Upstander do for George?

7. Scenario 3 • Lisa was talking to her friend Kim about Jennifer…talking behind Jennifer’s back. She was telling Kim that “Jennifer is a two-faced follower and that she shouldn’t be friends with her anymore.” Lots of kids are talking about this drama during homeroom. • In the hallway later that day, Lisa and Jennifer were shouting inappropriate names at each other. Tempers were escalating. • You and a friend are nearby and you both know what is going on because you’ve heard the rumors. What do you do?

8. Scenario 4 • Ed did not complete his big Science lab report last night. He knows his best friend John did so he plans on copying John’s answers in study hall during period A. • When John tells Ed that he doesn’t feel comfortable giving his lab report to him to copy, Ed threatens to hurt John. Ed said “give it to me or you’ll be sorry”. • You heard Ed say this to John. You know John feels threatened and does not want to cheat. What do you do?

9. Scenario 5 • A group of friends get together on a Friday night. They call friends on their cell phones and send texts back and forth to other kids at school. One girl suggested they make a list of the “10 things we hate” about another student at school. The group shared their “hate” list with about 20 other students during texting chats. • One student printed out a version of the text that had some very hurtful language and brought it in to school on Monday. It was passed around and shared with several students. • You read the print-out and know of the situation. What do you do?

10. Scenario 6 • Jill loudly distributes Valentines to her friends at locker time before homeroom. She gives one to 2 friends. • At the next locker over, Vivian is upset because she thought she was Jill’s friend but did not receive a Valentine from Jill. • You see that Vivian is upset and you know why. What do you do?

11. Scenario 7 • Matt walks down the hall proudly wearing a new sweatshirt with a logo for the Houston Astros. Andrew loudly says, “Hey, look at that stupid kid wearing that Astros sweatshirt. Doesn’t he know it’s only the Sox or the Yankees around here? What a loser!” • Matt responds by saying, “What? Leave me alone. I like the Astros. I lived in Texas last year and they’re cool.” • Andrew says: “No, they’re not. They’re losers and so are you!” • Matt takes off his sweatshirt, shoves it in his locker and walks away dejected. • You witness this scene and are a friend of Andrew. What do you do?

12. Scenario 8 • Linda is in a crowded hallway between classes and is bumped by another student and almost drops her books. Immediately, she is bumped by a second student and then bumped by a third student who knocks her books to the ground. The third girl says, “Oh, I’m sorry” and continues walking down the hall. • Linda knows that all 3 girls are friends and does not believe that the third girl is sorry. Linda feels sad and embarrassed. • You watched what happened and help pick up the books but don’t say a word. • What else could an Upstander do?

13. Scenario 9 • A teacher shares with the class a student’s example of outstanding work. Bob says, “oh, it’s probably Steven’s again….he always gets A’s.” Other students roll their eyes and smirk at each other. • Steven is embarrassed and looks down at his desk. • You are sitting next to Steven and know that the class is making fun of him because he gets good grades. What do you do?

14. Scenario 10 • Walking down the hall, Billy feels something hit the back of his head. He turns to see a boy behind him with a huge grin on his face. Billy asks him, “Who hit me in the head?” but the boy and the friend just continue to smile and say nothing. Billy continues to ask, “Who hit me?” and the boys ignore him. • You and 2 friends witness the whole scene. You smiled, one friend looked away and one friend continued walking away. • What could an Upstander do?

15. Scenario 11 • In the café, you see a couple of students that you are friends with punching a peer. All the students are at one lunch table. At first, it looks like everybody is having fun, just fooling around, but then you notice that the student being punched looks a little upset. • What do you do?

16. Scenario 12 • Melissa walks into her period E class late. Students are arranged in new groups doing a group activity. Melissa sees an open chair next to her friend Jackie and begins to walk toward it. • Jackie sees Melissa walking toward the chair and puts her books on it to block her from sitting there. Jackie gives Melissa a “mean” look and shakes her head “no”. • Other kids at the table giggle. Melissa looks stunned and embarrassed. • You are in another group watching this take place. What do you do?

17. Scenario 13 • Daniel walks down a crowded hallway between classes. He hears his name called out. He turns but can’t figure out who said his name. Then, he hears it again, only this time it comes from another location and then a third time from a third location. • Daniel now realizes that there are several kids who are doing this in an annoying way. This isn’t the first time this has happened. • You’ve heard kids talking about doing this and laughing about it. What do you do?

18. Scenario 14 • During class you notice that students are passing a note around. Each student looks at it and laughs, and then passes it on. • When the note gets to you, you see that it is a cartoon drawing of a student in the class that many kids make fun of. • Under the ugly cartoon drawing are disrespectful words and the student’s name. • What do you do?

19. Scenario 15 • Every day John buys ice cream and a bag of chips to go with his hot lunch. • You notice that every day the same 2 students take his ice cream and chips from him. John looks upset but does not say anything to the other boys. • The boys who take the food always smile at each other when they do this. John sits at this same lunch table every day but does not talk with the other boys. • What do you do?

20. Scenario 16 • Jen walks into the cafeteria after buying her lunch. She has to sit at a new table after seeing that there are no more seats at her usual table. She walks over to a table where she knows some students and puts her tray down at an empty seat. • She is rudely told she can’t sit there because it’s Amy’s seat. She states, “No one is sitting her now and I don’t have a seat.” Two kids at the table say, “The seat is taken so there’s no room for you”. • Jen looks nervous and doesn’t know what to do. • You are sitting at that table. What do you do?

21. Scenario 17 • You walk up to two friends who are talking and laughing in the hallway. They seem like they are having fun. As you approach, you realize that they are saying very mean, insulting things about another student. • What do you do?

22. Scenario 18 • The teacher assigns team partners to everyone in the class. As the teacher assigns Cory and Eli to work together, he hears a groan. The teacher scans the room to see if s/he can locate the problem but is not successful. As the teacher continues assigning the pairs, s/he hears Cory saying, “I don’t want to work with you because I don’t like you” and voices escalate. • You’ve heard other students say the same thing to Eli in the past. Eli mumbles to himself, “Not again” and he looks sad. • What do you do?

23. Scenario 19 • Almost everyday in Jill's math class, a boy named George says something is "retarded." If the teacher is passing out homework, he says it's "retarded." If the teacher is introducing a challenging new topic, George says it's "retarded." George uses the word just loud enough for some students to hear but never loud enough for the teacher to notice.  • Jill has even heard George say the word in the hallway to friends...calling them "retarded" in a mocking or fooling around way. • Jill hasn't really given the word much thought until now - a new student has been assigned to the math class - a girl named Debra. Jill knows that Debra has a brother with mental disabilities. She is really worried about what Debra might think or feel if George says the "r" word. • As an Upstander, what could Jill do?

24. What are the challenges of being an UPSTANDER? • Feel scared that you will be hated, made fun of, or get hurt • Don’t want the bully to target you; don’t want to get on the bad side of the bully; afraid the bully will blame you • Don’t know what to do so don’t do anything; unsure of what to do • Don’t want to get involved in someone else’s business; you may not know the whole story • Don’t want to seem like a “tattle-tail” if you seek a teacher’s help; worried about your own reputation • You may not know the person and it would be awkward to get involved • It might be your friend who is doing the bullying • Can’t tell the difference between bullying and joking around • You might have enough stress/problems of your own and don’t want to take on more stress/problems • You are shy and don’t want to make a scene • Feel that you might end up getting yourself in trouble • Afraid of what other people will think; might be embarrassed might make you “unpopular” • Know the person who needs help wants to deal with it on his/her own • May not think the mean-spirited behavior is that bad • Don’t have the courage to help • Don’t think you can make a difference • Don’t know if the person wants your help • Lack of confidence to stand-up Responses of 8th grade SAFE mentors.

25. UPSTANDER, not Bystander Contest We recognize the challenges of being an Upstanderand invite you to create a Public Service Announcement (PSA)! • Demonstrate “How to Stand Up” • Reduce the challenges to being an Upstander • Participate in fostering a positive school environment 1. no longer than 1 minute in length 2. must have a TITLE 3. CLMS and WYSB must be clearly seen in PSA 4. must list the producers and actors involved 5. maximum students per team is 6 6. must list researched facts or statistics 7. due April 20, 2012 Students will vote on the PSAs. Winners will be posted on the CLMS and WATERFORD PATCH websites!!!

26. View Video Examples • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YveDsrZqKZw&feature=player_embedded • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7IyEcG-0QQ&feature=player_embedded • http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=bullying+psa+contest&view=detail&mid=BC1E8D87B2FCEF265DFEBC1E8D87B2FCEF265DFE&first=0&FORM=LKVR18

27. The Peace Club The Peace Club students have written a Declaration of Peace and invite all students to reflect on the their role as a student in our school and to consider becoming a strong supporter of the declaration. All students are invited to sign the pledge to acknowledge his/her responsibility to act courageously to build a kinder school community where everybody belongs.

28. Declaration of Peace “We, the people of Clark Lane believe that creating and maintaining a peaceful, safe and inclusive school is the right and responsibility of every member of our Clark Lane community. Clark Lane students have the determination, ability and desire to build a respectful and non-violent school where all students feel safe and included.

29. We believe that every person is a unique treasure and that diversity is our strength. Every person has the right to be who they are without fear of being discriminated against. I will strive to respect myself and in doing so, show respect for all people including those whose abilities, beliefs, culture, race, sexual identity or other characteristics are different from my own.

30. I pledge to: • examine my own biases and work to overcome them, • set a positive example for my friends and peers by learning to be an UPSTANDER, • apologize if I have hurt someone and learn to forgive others who have hurt me, • learn from my mistakes, • solve problems peacefully, • promote tolerance and invite diversity in my school, • stand with others who are treated unfairly, even if it means standing alone, • use peaceful words and actions wherever I go, • speak out against injustice and hate wherever I see it.” If you make this pledge, please sign the declaration!