Individual Therapy

1. Individual Therapy

2. All sorts of things might have brought you here… “My life sucks!! Why can’t I get what I want and need?” It feels as though I’m constantly grabbing defeat from the jaws of victory! I plan it out in my head, and then the anxiety takes over – I freeze up. Whether it’s asking someone out, speaking up at work, or asserting myself with someone who disagrees with me… I freeze. I don’t know why and it’s maddening!

3. It’s as if some inner police person looms like a giant in my mind, shouting, “Stop! Who are you to speak, act, feel, or respond in service of yourself!” I hate that voice in my head, and nothing I do silences it! I’ve read self-help books. I’ve even watched Oprah and read Psychology Today! No matter how many times I tell myself I’m going to “live my best life,” I keep living my same old life with that “policeman” saying, “See, I told you so!”

5. “Sometimes I can’t believe that I have hurt the ones I love so badly. Can I possibly recover from this?” SHAME. Horrible debilitating shame. It’s like a life sentence. I know in my head that it isn’t true, but it feels as though I can never be forgiven for the harms I’ve caused. I spend my life trying to make up for my mistakes, but it never seems to be enough. Can I learn to accept my mistakes and stop feeling as though they define me? Is there a way that I can make space for all that is good and right in me? Why do my failures and imperfections feel like all that’s important in life? “My addiction(s) keep winning and I keep losing. It scares me, but sometimes I want to give up.” Porn, sex, romance, booze, bagels, chocolate, meth… maybe you feel as though everything BUT you is driving this clown car called life!

6. “Is it always going to be so bloody awful?” This “no hope” feeling is like an anchor pulling me into a vortex of self-doubt and isolation! How is it that I feel like the worst, most unacceptable being on the planet?! I constantly compare myself to others and come up short – no, not just short, WOEFULLY short! How can I stop this inner critic from sabotaging pleasure, joy, and possibility in my life?

7. The ways that you are coping now… through self-medicating; staying in toxic or abusive relationships; sabotaging real possibilities because you unconsciously believe you are unworthy; remaining trapped in cycles of anxiety, depression, compulsions, and addictions…

8. These are like the ‘deck chairs’ on the Titanic… although, right now, they may feel like the whole ship! So, let’s go to that place where core beliefs and the feelings that validate them are stored… and let’s start being curious about whether they are true or not. Let’s make room for you to guide the ship – not with control, but with acceptance, confidence, self-assertion, and clarity!

9. We are going to reclaim your relationships… Ok, send me the people in your life who bother you, trigger you, infuriate you, and compel you the most. I’ll work with them, and you’ll get better! Hmmm, well… that just isn’t going to work. I think we know that!

11. When you come to a deep, compassionate, understanding, and clear relationship with yourself, you really will be secure. Others may leave you, judge you, criticize you, reject you, manipulate you, try to seduce you, and on and on… But you will never be alone because the behaviours of others will never hold authority over how you feel and treat yourself! Wow! That’s the sweet spot!

12. For more update , visit us https://frankkewin.org/individual-therapy/