Healthy & Unhealthy Relationships • You have (will have) relationships with: • Family • Friends • Romantic Partner
Family: Healthy Relationships • Communicate with each other • Develop ways to value boundaries • Build trust and respect
Friends: Healthy Relationships • Everyone needs friends! • One you regard with affection, trust, and respect • True friends listen and respect each other • Be supportive, encouraging, considerate • Peer pressure can play a major role…don’t give in!!
Romantic: Healthy Relationships • Signs: • Loving and taking care of yourself • Respecting your partner’s right to be himself/herself • Having a life outside of the relationship • Making decisions together (compromising)
Unhealthy Relationships • Focusing all energy on your partner • Trying to change your partner to be what you want them to be • Dropping friends and family • One partner makes all decisions • One partner yells, hits, or throws things during arguments
Healthy Relationships • Traits: • Honesty • Trust • Compromise • Respect • Support • Caring • Good communication
Scenarios! • In groups of 4-5 • Each group is given a scenario to read, discuss, and share with the group • As a group you must decide what aspects of the scenario are healthy and which are unhealthy; you may also share ways to improve the unhealthy aspects • Your group needs to decide group roles • 1 person is the writer • 1 person is the reader • 2-3 people are the presenters All group members must help brainstorm
For each scenario name: • Love or Infatuation? (1 word, phrase, or reason to justify) • Healthy or Unhealthy? (1 word, phrase, or reason to justify)
Healthy or Unhealthy?Love or Infatuation? “ My boyfriend likes for me to call him right away when I get home from work...he loves talking to me.”
Healthy or Unhealthy?Love or Infatuation? “ I enjoy hanging out with my girlfriend because she helps me with my math, so that I can do well and pass the course.”
Healthy or Unhealthy? “I need the computer please.” “I have work to do, can I use it for 20 more minutes, and then you can have it for the next 2 hours?” “Ok, that works for me.”
We’ve all read stories about two people who meet, fall deeply in love, and live happily ever after. But we all know that life is not that simple. People sometimes fall out of love, and even those who stay together the rest of their lives have some unhappy times and they must work to improve their relationship. However, it’s ok to dream about a perfect partner, it may help us recognize those we want to spend our lives with or have close relationships with.
My Perfect Mate (MPM) • I do/do not want MPM to be like me. • Characteristics your parents would want in your perfect mate.
My Perfect Mate (MPM) • Find 10 words that represent the qualities you most want in your perfect mate. Beautiful Active Funny Religious Passive Quiet Happy Generous Witty Musical Brave Selfless Proud Loyal Mature Friendly Outgoing Caring Open Clean Helpful Athletic Modest Hard-working Artistic Smart Thoughtful
****************************** Remember that in ANY relationship, you: • Have the right to feel safe at all times. • Have the right to express your own ideas and say no to something you don't like. • Aren’t responsible for another person's actions even if they say you provoke them. • Never deserve to be abused in any way.
When you enter into a healthy relationship, how should you act? How do you make decisions with your partner as to how you will act sexually? Sexual Decision Making
Sexual Decision Making • What I Need: • To decide what you value • Clarify whether you want to become involved sexually or not • How do I decide? • You must act according to your conscience • You must accept the consequences
Sexual Decision Making • Sexual Morality Includes • Physical risks such as STD’s, STI’s, AIDS, pregnancy • Psychological and emotional concerns • May unleash many emotions: fear, guilt, remorse, anxiety, poor self-esteem • Should be a free choice, with no pressures • Must consider the meaning you wish sexuality to have for you
Sexual Decision Making & The Catholic Church • We are all sexual and drawn toward relationships (casual and intimate) • Full sexual intimacy is intended only for marriage • Sexual intercourse is not meant to be used to ‘fulfill’ cravings (attraction, satisfy sexual feelings, express youthful love) • Sexual intercourse is a sign of fully committed love • It is a gift that man and woman offer to each other in marriage
“If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything”.
Sexual Decision Making • Are Abstinence and Chastity the same thing? • Both are important, but very different. NO WAY!!!
Sexual Decision Making • Abstinence: simply means saying “NO”; avoiding certain things (ex. Meat on Fridays, chocolate before dinner, sex before marriage);
Sexual Decision Making • Chastity: controlling sexuality appropriate to your relationship; it is a virtue, not a habit; a virtue of understanding and respecting sex to such a great degree that one keeps it in appropriate time and place (marriage)
Close your eyes, sit quietly, and listen... • Think about your initial reactions/thoughts....
Choosing to engage in sexual activity? • Why? • Why not?
Choosing to engage in sexual activity? • Risks involved:
Remember..... • Chastity makes us truly free • Human sexuality is a gift from God, we must learn to control physical and emotional urges • Goodrelationshipstake time and need to develop ‘strong roots’ • Loving does not mean sex • Intimacy does not mean sex