Improving Sentence Structure and Clarity
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Presentation Transcript
No.1 • (Worse) Closely examining the test results, the final trial was delayed by the laboratory manager for another two week. • (Better 1) Closely examining the test results, the laboratory manager delayed the final trial for another two week. • (Better 2) The laboratory manager delayed the final trial for another two week after closely examining the test results.
No.2 • (Worse) He observed the phenomenon conducting the simulating run. • (Better) He observed the phenomenon while he was conducting the simulating run.
No.3 • (Worse) The technician detected the error analyzing the samples. • (Better 1)While analyzing the samples, the technician detected the error. • (Better 2) The technician detected the error while analyzing the samples.
No.4 • (Worse) Having a large database, much information is contained in the system’s network. • (Better 1) Having a large database, the system’s network contains much information. • (Better 2) The system’s network contains much information because it has a large database.
No.5 • (Worse) The technology has been advanced to satisfy consumer demand in recent years. • (Better) The technology has been advanced in recent years to satisfy consumer demand.
No.6 • (Worse) After considering the consumer reaction, which is volatile in the early stages of development, a decrease in production output was his decision. • (Better) After considering the consumer reaction, which is volatile in the early stages of development, he decided to decrease production output.
No.7 • (Worse) When only seventeen years old, the university president granted her a doctorate degree. • (Better 1) When she was only seventeen years old, the university president granted her a doctorate degree. • (Better 2) The university president granted her a doctorate degree when only seventeen years old.
No.8 • (Worse) To fully understand a lecture, note taking skills must be developed by the seminar participant. • (Better 1) To fully understand a lecture, the seminar participant must develop note taking skills. • (Better 2) The seminar participant must develop note taking skillsto fully understand a lecture,
No.9 • (Worse) When a research assistant, my colleague helped me conduct many experiments. • (Better 1) My colleague helped me conduct many experiments when I was a research assistant. • (Better 2) When I was a research assistant,my colleague helped me conduct many experiments.
No.10 • (Worse) To calibrate the instruments, accuracy should be emphasized. • (Better 1) To calibrate the instruments, the technician should emphasize accuracy. • (Better 2) The technician should emphasize accuracy when calibrate the instruments.
No.11 • (Worse) To measure the boundary parameters, precision must be incorporated. • (Better 1) To measure the boundary parameters, the mathematician must incorporate precision. • (Better 2) The mathematician must be precise when measuring the boundary parameters.
No.12 • (Worse) When preparing for an interview, background information of that company should be researched. • (Better 1) When preparing for an interview, a job applicant should research background information of that company. • (Better 2) A job applicant should research background information of that company when preparing for an interview.