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Global Summit of Women Athens, Greece 31 May – 2 June , 2012. Negotiating with Difficult People. Negotiating with Difficult People Moderated by Alicia Natividad Difficult People, by Pamela Teagarden Negotiations Process, by Celina Realuyo Techniques for Women, by Sara Bieger.
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Global Summitof WomenAthens, Greece 31 May – 2 June , 2012 Negotiating with Difficult People
Negotiating with Difficult PeopleModerated by Alicia NatividadDifficult People, by Pamela TeagardenNegotiations Process, by Celina RealuyoTechniques for Women, by Sara Bieger
Difficult People in Negotiations Presented by Pamela Teagarden, the Soluna Institute For ‘diversity at the next level’ pamela@solunainstitute.org www.solunainstitute.org
People When do negotiations get difficult? Topic Setting
Some think… • We can be emotional • We worry too much (what others will think) • We say too much (or disclose too much) • We change our mind (slow to decide) • We do not “stand up” for ourselves • We don’t offer an opinion (or we apologize for it) • We do not ask for things we need
Is this true? Competitive/Protective Transacts with others Facts > Feelings Cooperative/Emotional Listens to others Feelings > Facts
We can… • Use our emotions as our strength • Understand that it’s not personal and find support • Stop and think about facts (or prepare with them) • Wait until last to speak or take a ‘break’ to think • Say it with confidence • Make and maintain a ‘personal vision’
Final thoughts. • There will always be difficult negotiations/conversations. • Our view is needed and not yet ‘the norm’ • Practice makes us better • A trusted, support/challenge group helps • Failure is not personal, it’s business.
Global Summit of Women 2012:Women – The Engine of Growth Athens, Greece Negotiating Effectively with Difficult PeopleJune 2, 2012 Celina B. Realuyo Assistant Professor of National Security Affairs, U.S. National Defense University President, CBR Global Advisors, LLC professorcelina@gmail.com
Negotiating Effectively with Difficult People REWARD RISK IN A WORLD OF UNCERTAINTY, ONE THING IS FOR SURE, YOU WILL HAVE TO NEGOTIATE WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE! Source: Celina B. Realuyo
INQUIRE ACKNOWLEDGE ADVOCATE RESOLVE Key Actions in Negotiations Source: Celina B. Realuyo
Negotiating Effectively with Difficult People Five Stage Process PREPARE PRACTICE PRESENT PERSIST PREVAIL • Prepare by defining your desired objective and strategy • Rehearse your talking points beforehand • Make your case in a constructive manner • Promote and defend your position • Reach a win-win outcome Source: Celina B. Realuyo
Negotiating Effectively with Difficult People Consider Culture and Context GUIDELINES Choose when and where to negotiate Decide how to convey message (written or oral) Find shared interests to disarm your counterpart Repeat your message with resolve Understand and respect your counterpart’s culture Source: Celina B. Realuyo
TECHNIQUES FOR NEGOTIATIONS WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE Global Summit of Women, Athens 2012 By Sara Bieger, Managing Partner Spain Leaders Trust International – AltoPartners Group Consultants in Executive Search
A combination of both SUPPORT & ATTACK • Fight with energy the essential matters (increase the pressure to obtain an efficient solution) • Provide the other person with the necessary SUPPORT (as to improve your relationship) Is a HELPFUL CONTRADICTION A PSYCHOLOGICAL THEORY states that human beings are displeased by the lack of logics and react against it.
Negotiator: always has 2 kinds of interests • The essence & the relationship Both are usually mixed up, because after all, negotiators are always PERSONS.
BASIC CATEGORIES I. PERCEPTION MAKE SURE YOU HAVE EMPATHY “PUT YOURSELVE IN SOMEONE ELSE´S SHOES” III. COMMUNICATION THE BASICS: 2 WAY COMMUNICATION IV. PREVENTION BUILD a PERSONAL AND SIGNIFICANT RELATIONSHIP II. EMOTION IDENTIFICATION ALL EMOTIONS
Difficulties to interact with them • What happens when the other side is more powerful? The main obstacle is: Trying to change them!
Don't loose your mind! • Don't try to change THEM • Re-shape and change what YOU DO • Change your behaviour towards THEM
ALWAYS REMEMBER: 1. DISSOCIATE your thoughts TO UNDERSTAND 2. ASSOCIATE your thoughts TO ACT 3. KEEP ON TRYING!! • How do I feel? • Which kind of behaviour upsets you? • Which is your behaviour in reply? • Which kind of behaviour would you desire from the • other side? • What would I change in my behaviour to obtain it? • Tricks • Identify them • Make them obvious • Don´t be aggressive • Negotiate according to the rules • Keep yourself calmed • Establish your limits without aggressive attitudes • Speak from yourself • Modify the kind of relationship you have with yourself
THERE IS A POWER ALWAYS AVAILABLE: THE POWER OF ATTITUDE THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!
Now, take note of the differences… National Cultures Generations Gender Race Socio-economic power Positional power Etc….