Communicating with the Difficult Teacher

1. Communicating with the Difficult Teacher From: Dealing with Difficult Teachers By Todd Whitaker Lisa Scarrow

2. Approach • When you are ready • The more comfortable you feel, the more likely it is they will feel uncomfortable. • Do not hurry to interact with the teacher • Chances are you are emotional (naturally) • It will be easy to get into an argument • You need to have a game plan • If you run into the teacher and they request a meeting it would be best to delay for awhile

3. Approach Continued • Determine the best place to meet with the teacher • It is best not to give them advance notice. Chances are they know when they did something wrong and will begin planning excuses and mentally preparing their defenses • You need to be the one who is prepared • While you are waiting make sure you are continuing to treat them as a professional.

4. The Broken Record • While in discussion with the teacher if s/he starts making excuse you have to become a broken record. • Repeat what the unacceptable behavior is: • Ex: I was very disappointed during our staff meeting when you interrupted the discussion to interject a rude comment that was unproductive.

5. The Best Teacher, The Worst Teacher • Always ask yourself if you are confronting this teacher in the same manner you would if one of the best teachers were in the room observing • Think about the whole staff being in the room to witness you

6. The Best Teacher, The Worst Teacher Continued • Remember this conversation will probably be repeated by the teacher with a few added details • Don’t be concerned with how close to the truth it really is • Envision that when it is repeated, in the lounge perhaps, that the most effective teacher is listening as well as the least effective teacher • If you handled yourself correctly the most effective teacher may sympathize with the teacher, a natural reaction, to maintain respect. But mentally they will be giving you high-fives knowing how the conversation probably really went. The least effective teacher will probably be thinking about whether or not they display the same behaviors making a mental note to stop if they do

7. Trying to Eliminate the Inappropriate Behaviors • Do not defend the inappropriate behavior by rationalizing something else • Ex. They are a good teacher but they just don’t get along well with their students. • They may not be the worst but very rarely are these people really good teachers. • Ask yourself questions like: • Would I want my child in their classroom • How many years would one of the excellent teachers have to teach before they exhibit that behavior. If the answer is never than that is probably not a good teacher. • By defending we are potentially reinforcing the behavior and setting the tone that it is acceptable.

8. One to One, Not One to all • Remember to never address inappropriate behavior of an individual in a whole group setting. • Teachers who the behavior does not apply to resent having to be lectured • The person displaying the inappropriate behavior is being given a chance to hide and will also rationalize that they are not the only one displaying the inappropriate behavior

9. Excuses, Excuses • Ineffective teacher have many excuses • We do not give our students the freedom to display inappropriate behaviors when they are having a bad day • We do need to be sensitive the key is figuring out if a teacher is having an off day or it is a repeat of a continual inappropriate behavior.

10. Being Specific • Ignorance or Insubordination? • Sometimes it’s hard to determine if a teacher doesn’t know any better or if they are choosing to act inappropriately • You must be specific when giving feedback so the teacher knows exactly what behavior must be eliminated • If you are specific it is now fair of you to expect a change. • If a behavior is continued it is much more likely that it is intentional because you were specific with the change that neesdto be made.

11. Looking At Our Own Behavior • Remember that it is perfectly acceptable to feel the feelings and emotions you have • The key is reacting or not reacting to them in an appropriate manner • All schools have teachers who are intimidating. • The challenge is to not ACT intimidated, afraid or uncomfortable. • Put these feelings into perspective • Focus on your goal of improving the teacher

12. The Plan • Determine: • What behavior you want changed • decide when and where to meet with the teacher • develop a strategy • do what is right for the students of your school

13. Questioning Strategies to Use When Communicating • After an incident has occurred allow several days to pass – continue to treat this person professionally. • Then, when casually meeting the teacher say, like it is a second thought, “Can you tell me a little bit about…….” • Being so indirect will cause the teacher some discomfort • The teacher is probably trying to figure out how much you know, and what “part” exactly you are talking about • The fewer details the more stressful it is for the ineffective teacher to figure out how they are going to respond

14. “Can You Tell Me a Little Bit About……?” • The teacher will then have the choice to lie or tell the truth. • No matter how the teacher replies treat them as though their intentions were not malicious – Show no reaction just continue prompting. • The ineffective teacher will be trying to figure out exactly what you know • Your next question can have a little bit more information but continue to pry. • All along treat the teacher as if they are telling the truth whether you know differently or not. • Eventually some version of the truth will come out. • When it does, act completely shocked that it could have happened • The longer the investigation the more thinking time the teacher has and the longer s/he is uncomfortable.

15. Using The Examples Set By Our Superstars • Take note of what good teachers do to make things happen for them. • Being aware of behaviors and strategies our most talented teachers use, we can generate additional ideas that are effective. • This will give you guidance when working with adults.

16. Questions? • I’ll try to answer them  • http://www.eagleschoolmovie.com/