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Argument paper issues

Argument paper issues. Issue #1-No Lead-ins for quotes. Examples: In Richard’s mind, killing the kitten was the right thing to do. “I resented his shouting, and it irked me that I could never make him feel my resentment”.

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Argument paper issues

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  1. Argument paper issues

  2. Issue #1-No Lead-ins for quotes • Examples: In Richard’s mind, killing the kitten was the right thing to do. “I resented his shouting, and it irked me that I could never make him feel my resentment”. • Like this: In Richard’s mind, killing the kitten was the right thing to do. Richard states, “I resented his shouting, and it irked me that I could never make him feel my resentment.

  3. Possible lead-in verbs to use Copy This!!! • AcknowledgesAddsAdmitsAddressesArguesAssertsBelievesClaimsCommentsComparesConfirms ContendsDeclaresDeniesDisputesEmphasizesEndorsesGrantsIllustratesImpliesInsistsNotes ObservesPoints outReasonsRefutesRejectsReportsRespondsSuggestsThinksWrites

  4. Issue #2: Too much quote in the paragraph • Quotes should never make up the majority of your paragraph. Your paragraph should be made up mostly of your ideas. • Example:This punishment was not that bad because it was more of a mental punishment than a physical one which could have killed him. Page 7 states “I remembered that my mother had come close to killing me.” On page 14, he states, that his mind was frozen with horror,” because he was afraid of God taking his life away. • The bulk of this paragraph is quotes.

  5. Issue #2b-too much of the quote used • You don’t have to use an entire quote. • Example: His mother also knew that lashing him almost to death had not worked because he became more aggressive towards animals. “As 5-year-olds, the children who have been spanked were more likely than the non-spanked to be more defiant, demand immediate satisfaction of their wants and needs, become frustrated easily, have temper tantrums, and lash out physically against other people or animals.”

  6. Issue #2b continued • Way to fix it: use only the part of the quote that you need • Example: His mother also knew that lashing him almost to death had not worked because he became more aggressive towards animals. The text says, “As 5-year-olds, the children who have been spanked were more likely than the non-spanked to […] lash out physically against other people or animals.”

  7. Issue #3- Not drawing conclusions or not explaining your evidence • Example: The Times article states, “children’s short term response to spanking may make them act out more.” This means they’ll take that corporal pain, and save it to act up way more in the future. Four year olds are too young to decipher between right and wrong because they don’t understand why what they did was wrong. • Needs another sentence at the end…. • Therefore, spanking would not be an effective punishment because the child will feel pain, but not understand the purpose of the punishment.

  8. Think about the exercises we did with pictures! If said, evaluate who the people are in the photo and what they are like. WRONG (evidence only): The man in the front has on a large, expensive looking cape. His clothes are not dingy, like the men pushing the boat. RIGHT:The man in the front has on a large, expensive looking cape. His clothes are not dingy, like the men pushing the boat. This probably means that he was wealthy and could afford expensive clothing since he is wearing that cape and his clothes look newer.

  9. Issue #4- Weak diction • Sentences from some papers: 1. Example: This punishment was not that bad because it was more of a mental punishment than a physical one which could have killed him. 2.Making Richard buy the kitten that he killed and making him pray that God would not take his breath away was a good punishment for him. 3. He learned his lesson in a possibly more effective way than the beating, a lesson that will last in his mind. INSTEAD: 1.Richard’s punishment for killing the kitten was an attempt to teach him the weight of life. 2. This proves that there are other punishments available that exclude violence and prove to be more effective. 3. This is effective because the method that Richard’s mother uses preys on Richard’s psychological fears of the dark, spirits of the dead, and what may happen to him as the result of his crime.

  10. ALSO THE CORRECT FORMS OF BURY AND APPROPRIATE: • Bury • Burying • Buried • AppropRiate

  11. SEE EXEMPLAR PAPERS!

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