Sharp Pencils Rev. May 2008 Faith Johnson Crumbly Editor, LEAD Magazine Review and Herald Publishing Association email@example.com
Addressing Overtalkers The task is to just shut them up. The skillis to: • Bring them into discussion appropriately and productively without brutalizing their self-worth. • Enable the rest of the group to get the advantage of their gifts and skills--and vice versa. We can consider several strategies.
First: Look at possible needs • To belong.If talking is the way “in,” I’ll talk. • To be heard. Minorities are rarely heard—that include minorities in religious persuasion. I’m “home” or I’m with “family.” People should listen. • To help out. Nobody else is talking. • To learn. Some people learn what they think as they talk. Aha!
It’s OK to interrupt Overtalkers actually expect interruptions. This is the only way they have conversations.
Be curious rather than commanding •Make eye contact as the other person talks. • Relax your body and, if you are standing, allow your weight to roll forward onto the balls of your feet. This gives the overall impression that your whole energy is now forward and focused on what the speaker is saying.
Listen carefully Then you will better respond to the situation and redirect the conversation in the presence of overtalkers.
Never Assume Ask: • “What do you mean, exactly? • Follow up this powerful question with open-ended questions.
Paraphrase To clearly demonstrate that: • You are genuinely paying attention • You are making every effort to understand thoughts and feelings as well as words.
Conversational Mosaics • Move from one subject to the next.But don’t let poor listening leave incomplete ideas hanging. • Intervene to keep on a subject long enough so that participants fully express themselves. This increases connections between members.
Validate the speaker Then ask input from someone else. Amazing, Jonah! I didn't realize you were so tuned in to the stock market. What you’re saying reminds me of how important investments are to us all. In fact, it makes me think about you, Margie, having recently started your own business. Can you see any correlation to that investment and the spiritual investment the lesson speaks about/reflects?
Good Listening Skills • Builds trust in your class participants. • Builds self-esteem in class members—including over-talkers. • Builds your self-discipline, character, and personality.
Stay focused The mind can process 500-600 words words per minute. The mouth can produce about 150 words per minute. It takes a concentrated effort to focus on another person’s words.
SweatEquity [S + K x [E + A] = G + O] Skills andEffort andGoals and KnowledgeApproachObjectives To make a change on the right side of the equation, you must make a lasting change on the left side. The work—sweat equity—is in the middle.
Class Facilitators In well-facilitated conversations, people will know they’ve enjoyed themselves but may not know why. Ssh! There’s no need to tell them.