Friending Stress

Friending Stress Introduction to Research ID 6020 18th April, 2013

How heavy is this?

Demystifying this Fellow! STRESS Stress

Demystifying this Fellow! Definitions of stress .. “The adverse reaction people have to excessive pressure or other types of demands placed on them.” (Health and Safety Executive) “Stress is not necessarily something bad – it all depends on how you take it. The stress of exhilarating, creative successful work is beneficial, while that of failure, humiliation or infection is detrimental.” (Selye, 1956) “Stress is a condition or feeling experienced when a person perceives that demands exceed the personal and social resources the individual is able to mobilize.” (Lazarus, ) Just to stress you

So what is…??? The greatest obstacle between you and happiness is stress. Comes from the way we relate/react to events or situations.

Need to befriend this Fellow! Fatigue / Burnout Lack of Appetite / Binging Alcochol/ Smoking Computer Games / Internet Obesity / Weight Loss Sleeplessness Indigestion / Diarrhea Reduced Productivity Suicidal Tendencies Memory Loss Anger/Frustration/ Depression / Boredom Personality Disorders (diffidence, anxiety, worry, loneliness, moodiness, indecisiveness) BP , Ulcer, Migraine

Here I come….. Does my perception affect me?

The Window

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning, while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hang the wash outside. .

“That laundry is not very clean. She doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap”, she said Her husband looked on, but remained silent. . .

Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments. .

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: Look! She has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this. .

The husband said: I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows! .

And so it is with life: What we see when watching others, depends on the purity of the window through which we look. Before we give any criticism, it might be a good idea to check our state of mind and ask ourselves if we are ready to see the good rather than to be looking for something in the person we are about to judge. . .

“ we don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.”

The true man sees what the eye sees, and does not add to it something that is not there. He hears what the ears hear, and does not detect undertones or overtones. He is not busy with hidden meanings…

Here I come….. The stimuli Ticket waiting list, traffic jam, queues, ATM, tatkal Exam results, Job Family: Household chores, Illness to near/dear ones Academics: Time pressure, deadlines, ‘show results’ syndrome

Understanding the Root Cause Readiness to change? Realistic vs. Unrealistic change What are your beliefs? Helpful or limiting? Stress Audit- Routine or Specific? What reality do you create? Shoulds, Musts..

Arrival Patterns in IIT Life……. Selection of Guide Comprehensive Viva Synopsis Journal / Conference Papers and deadlines First DC / GTC Identifying Research Problem Thesis Writing (IIT Format) Data Collection Zeroth DC / GTC Delays in Thesis Correction Hostel and Food Data Analysis, Results Scholarship stopped Expectations of Guide Job!! (No job, Joining date) Grades in Course Work Family and Financial Issues Post-IIT Stress

Welcoming Stress with RED CARPET….. Procrastination Staying away from work until last minute Multi-tasking Swallowing more than you can chew Improper Communication Not openly communicating with people who are stressors No Personal Hygiene Lack of order and planning in life Neglecting Health No proper diet and exercise regime

Stress and My IIT Friends No Journal / Conf Paper Took to alcohol/smoking – 8 years PhD Fear to communicate or discuss Running around for data collection Workload given by Guide Differences in Expectation setting Family Issues (Separation, Marriage)

Striking a chord with this fellow…

TIPS n TRICKS! Be Realistic know your limits and thresholds of pain and knowledge – I Know that I Know Nothing – The Buddha Lean to SAY NO! Use TO-DO Lists, POST-IT Notes, Outlook Calendar Take ONE STEP at a time See STRESS as a Challenge / Opportunity Discuss with Friends Forgive and Forget Feed Your Mind – Hobbies, Interests, Sports, Relaxation, Start something New Have a Personal Health Plan – Diet, Nutrition, Exercise, Yoga, Meditation, Sleep

Pearls of Wisdom Detached witness When we are angry, step back from the wave of anger and try to see and feel, “anger is happening in me, but I am not in it; I am untouched by it. I watch it raise, fall and pass away like waves at the surface of my being.” Meditation Visualize and invoke peace Surrender To find perfect composure in the midst of change is to experience ‘nirvana’, bliss. I treat both success and failure as one and the same… Equanimity

Your Sun Diagram Feeling engaged

“To relieve tension, minutes of real calm, inner and outer, are more effective than all the remedies of the world”. Way forward………. SHAKE hands with STRESS

Friending Stress