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HOW SINGLE ADULTS/YOUNG ADULTS CAN HELP BUILD THE CHURCH!

HOW SINGLE ADULTS/YOUNG ADULTS CAN HELP BUILD THE CHURCH!. UNDERSTANDING THE REALITIES! Dennis Franck, Director Single Adult/Young Adult Ministries Assemblies of God, USA. 44 % OF ADULTS ARE SINGLE (AGE 18+). Never married 52.0 M 26.0% Divorced 20.5 M 11.0% Widowed 13.5 M 7.0%

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HOW SINGLE ADULTS/YOUNG ADULTS CAN HELP BUILD THE CHURCH!

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  1. HOW SINGLE ADULTS/YOUNG ADULTS CAN HELP BUILD THE CHURCH! UNDERSTANDING THE REALITIES! Dennis Franck, Director Single Adult/Young Adult Ministries Assemblies of God, USA

  2. 44 % OF ADULTS ARE SINGLE(AGE 18+) Never married 52.0 M 26.0% Divorced 20.5 M 11.0% Widowed 13.5 M7.0% 86.0 M 44.0% Separated 7.2 M 3.6% www.census.gov/prod/2001pubs/p20-537.pdf Single Adult Ministry Journal-Issue 130, page 7 Living Together: Myths, Risks & Answers by Mike & Harriett McManus, Intro. page XVII.

  3. Median Age at First Marriage Men Women 2000 27.8 26.4 1990 26.1 23.9 1980 24.7 22.0 1970 23.2 20.8 1960 22.8 20.3 www.census.gov/prod/2001pubs/p20-537.pdf

  4. Growth of Single Person Households 1900 5% of all households 1960 13% of all households 2000 26% of all households Single Adult Ministry Journal-Issue 124, page 4- U.S Census Bureau 2001

  5. COHABITATION-U. S. • Nearly half of 25-40 yr. olds have cohabitated • 6 million couples now cohabitate --The National Marriage Project-Rutgers University - 2006 • 21 % of all unmarried-partner households include children –Step Family Association of America • 71% increase in unmarried-partner households -1990-2000 --Census Bureau 2000 - Springfield News Leader 5/15/2000

  6. Single - Parent Families • S P households make up 27. 3 % of all family households with children under 18 • 1 in 2 children born mid 90’s or later will live in a single parent family • 24 million children live in a home absent their father • 1 in 3 children is born to unmarried parents—(39 % in 2008) • 43% of teens do not live with both natural parents • Nuclear families (both original parents) - 24% of all families --Goter, Susan, Strategic Adult Ministry Journal, Issue 146, 12, 13 --Horn, Wade F., President of the National Fatherhood Initiative, Gaithersburg, Md --SAM Journal, Issue 144, p 7 and Issue 146, p 13

  7. Divorce/Remarriage • 43 percent of first marriages divorce 1 • 60 percent of remarriages with children divorce 1 • 65 percent of remarriages with children from a • prior marriage divorce 1 • 65 percent of simple stepfamilies (1 partner with a child) • divorce 2 • 70 percent of complex stepfamilies (both partners • have children) divorce 2 • 1 January 9, 2006, Newsweek, “The ‘Familymoon,’” Susan H. Greenberg and Anna Kuchment, p 2. • 2 For Better or For Worse: Divorce Reconsidered, W. W. Norton & Co. Ltd. London, Dr. E Mavis Hetherington and John Kelly specify the divorce rate for step-couples to be “50 percent higher in remarriages with stepchildren.” Specifically, then, the divorce rate is 65-70%, p. 178.

  8. DIVORCE IN THE US… • TOTAL # OF DIVORCED ADULTS… 1970: 4.3 million 2000: 20 million • MARRIED POPULATION… 1970: 72% of adults 2000: 56% of adults • 8 YEARS: AVERAGE DURATION OF 1ST MARRIAGE ENDING IN DIVORCE • 6 YEARS: AVERAGE DURATION OF 2ND MARRIAGE ENDING IN DIVORCE • Time Magazine, September 25, 2000 “Family” Barna Research Online, 1999

  9. THE CHURCH MUST REACH NEW TYPES OF “FAMILIES” • SINGLE PERSON FAMILY • SINGLE PARENT FAMILY • STEP PARENT FAMILY • BLENDED PARENT FAMILY • NUCLEAR FAMILY • EXPANDED FAMILY • GRANDPARENT FAMILY • UNMARRIED PARENT FAMILY • HOMOSEXUAL PARENT FAMILY • HOMOSEXUAL/HETEROSEXUAL PARENT FAMILY

  10. IN U. S. 44% OF ALL ADULTS ARE SINGLE OR SINGLE-AGAIN! (AGE 18+) IN MOST A/G CHURCHES, ONLY25-35%OF ADULTS ARE SINGLE/SINGLE-AGAIN! WHY DO OUR CHURCHES HAVE A SMALLER PERCENTAGE THAN SOCIETY HAS?

  11. Could it be we are not… Relevant to their needs? Praying for them? Planning for them? Programming for them? Realizing their potential contribution? Realizing an emphasis on “family church” may not relate to them?

  12. THE NEEDS… CONSIDER THESE COMMENTS… “Out of the divorces, widowhood, the singles bars, clubs, apartment and condominiums, comes a torrent of need, and it is flowing right past the door of our churches...there is boundless talent and creativity in this flood of single adults. The church can help and it can also be helped. It can give and it can receive. OPPORTUNITY IS THERE! WHAT WILL WE DO?” -Edward & Gwen Weising, Authors of Singleness-An Opportunity for Growth and Fulfillment

  13. A SURVEY OF SINGLENESS IN THE CHURCH • UNMARRIED - SINGLE, SINGLE-AGAIN… ALL AGES…18-98 YRS. • NEVER MARRIED • FORMERLY MARRIED • WIDOWED • SINGLE PARENT • SEPARATED

  14. SINGLENESS IN THE CHURCH • MARRIED NOW BUT WERE SINGLE-AGAIN DUE TO… • DEATH OF A MARRIAGE • DEATH OF A SPOUSE

  15. SINGLENESS IN THE CHURCH • HAVE A RELATIVE WHO IS… • DIVORCED • WIDOWED • NOT MARRIED-18 YRS OR OLDER • SEPARATED

  16. A Survey of Singleness If you are helping/workingin the Young Adult OR Single Adult Ministry, stay standing.

  17. SINGLE ADULTS CAN HELP BUILD THE CHURCH… BY ATTENDING… BUT WE MUST PROVIDE RELEVANT ENTRY POINTS FOR THEM!

  18. Rearing kids alone Shared parenting Relating to my former spouse Managing sexuality as a single adult Financial issues as a single Building healthy relationships with same/opposite sex Relating to spouse during separation Forgiving my former spouse Contentment as a single adult Dating/dating again Divorce Recovery Grief Recovery Learning to trust again Loneliness and singleness Singleness in a family-oriented church Finding my career Pre-marital education Re-marital education Blending families Relating to married adults as a single adult Adjusting to widowhood Healthy step-parenting UNIQUE INTERESTS/NEEDS OF SINGLE ADULTSWHERE IN THE CHURCH ARE THESE ADDRESSED?

  19. WHERE ARE THESE BEING ADDRESSED IN THE CHURCH TODAY? Sunday am service? Sunday pm service? Sunday adult classes? Mid-week adult classes? Any other time? WHERE ELSE WILL THEY RECEIVE A BIBLICAL PERSPECITVE ON THESE ISSUES?

  20. SINGLE ADULTS CAN HELP BUILD THE CHURCH…NUMERICALLY! ASK LEADERS OF SINGLES AND MARRIEDS CLASSES… # OF VISITORS OUTSIDE THE CHURCH? # OF VISITORS INSIDE THE CHURCH? USUALLY 40-60% OF SUNDAY AM SERVICE VISITORS ARE SINGLE!

  21. SINGLE ADULTS CAN HELP BUILD THE CHURCH… BY GIVING TITHES AND OFFERINGS!

  22. FINANCIALLY WORTH KNOWING!… • NOT ALL SINGLE ADULTS ARE POOR! • FINANCIALLY DIVERSE GROUP… • Single parent below poverty-level line • Single adult making six-figure income • NO NEED TO CHECK WITH SPOUSE BEFORE GIVING! • GOD HAS ONLY ONE PERSON TO CONVINCE • TO TITHE! • TO GIVE TO A PROJECT! • TO GIVE TO MISSIONS!

  23. FINANCIALLY WORTH KNOWING!… • TITHERS/GIVERS IN THIS CHURCH… • % OF ALL MARRIED ADULTS ? • % OF ALL SINGLE ADULTS? • SINGLE ADULTS USE ONLY ONE SEAT! • PRINCIPLE OF SOWING AND REAPING… • Galatians 6:7 “A person will reap what he sows.”

  24. SINGLE ADULTS CAN HELP BUILD THE CHURCH… BY SERVING!

  25. CONCERNING SERVICE… WORTH KNOWING… • I COR.7:32-35 PAUL SAYS FOR MINISTRY, SINGLENESS IS BETTER! • I COR. 7: 26-28 PAUL ENCOURAGES SINGLENESS! • PAUL WAS SINGLE AT THIS POINT! (was married before-had to be married to be a member of the Sanhedrin)

  26. SINGLE ADULTS HAVE… • MORE FREEDOM TO MAKE DECISIONS • TO SERVE • TO LEAD • MORE FLEXIBILITY WITH • SCHEDULE • TRAVEL • LIVING LOCATION • TIME (except single parents)

  27. CONSIDER THESE COMMENTS… “Every group in the church has unique needs and gifts...children, youth, men, women, marrieds etc. Because we have put emphasis on these groups for so long, we have inadvertently forgotten the singles and have led them to believe we don't expect them to be involved in ministry. The apostle Paul said that for ministry it is better to be single! (I Cor.7: 25-35) The purpose of ministry to singles is to help them see they ARE the church and to help them come to a place of ministry.”  -David Reddout, Pastor, First Assembly of God--Leesville, LA-Adult Ministries Consultant, Assemblies of God Sunday School Department--1981-1985  

  28. PERSONAL BIASES? WHEN NOMINATING OR CHOOSING LEADERSHIP IN THE CHURCH FOR… • PASTORAL STAFF… • ELDERS… • DEACONS… • SMALL GROUP LEADERS… • ADULT CLASS TEACHERS… • Do you think of married adults first?…Why? • How many single adults fill these positions? • Does the % of single leaders equal the % of single adults in the church?

  29. MARRIAGE DOES NOT MAKE A PERSON WHOLE OR MATURE! PEOPLE ARE WHOLE AND COMPLETE WHETHER MARRIED OR SINGLE! COL. 2:10 “YOU ARE COMPLETE IN HIM!”

  30. SINGLE ADULTS CAN HELP BUILD THE CHURCH… BY BRINGING PEOPLE TO CHRIST!

  31. SINGLE ADULTS SHARING CHRIST • LOCAL OUTREACH EVENTS • FRIENDSHIP EVANGELISM • SHORT-TERM MISSIONS TRIPS • LONG-TERM MISSIONS TRIPS • IN MANY AREAS OF THE U.S. SINGLE ADULTS ARE SETTING THE PACE…

  32. PEOPLE WHO MADE A DIFFERENCE! • JOSEPH-Fled advances of Potiphar’s wife • LILLIAN TRASHER- Orphanage in Egypt • CORRIE TEN BOOM-Survivor of death camps • DIETRICH BONHOFFER-Writer/spiritual philosopher • GRIMKE SISTERS-First women to speak publicly against slavery in the south • MOTHER THERESA-Humanitarian • IRENA SENDLER – Polish Catholic social worker – smuggled/rescued 2500 Jewish children

  33. PEOPLE WHO MADE A DIFFERENCE! • POPE JOHN PAUL II-Leader of the Catholic world • HENRIETTA MEARS-Gospel Light Publishing founder • EVANGELINE BOOTHE- Daughter of William Booth- helped to begin the Salvation Army • CLARA BARTON-Founder of the Red Cross • APOSTLE PAUL-Greatest missionary/author • JESUS-Savior of the world THEY WERE ALL SINGLE ADULTS!

  34. THINK ABOUT IT… IN THE BEGINNING… • The first humans were created single (Gen. 2:7) IN THE END… • We will all be single-again in heaven (Matt. 22:30) IN BETWEEN… • God sent a single adult to save us (John 1:12)

  35. THREE SINGLE ADULTS WHO CHANGED THE WORLD! OUR FAITH IS BASED UPON: • A Jewish single adult from Galilee • Whose ministry was preceded by a single adult named John the Baptist • And whose mission thrust was modeled by a single adult named Paul

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