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Presented by: Ryan White

Marriage as a Covenant. Tabernacle of David Presentation. Presented by: Ryan White. Objectives for the Series. Discuss the difference between Covenant and Contract. Discuss why YHWH created the institution of marriage. Discuss Genesis 1-3 from the aspect of a marriage covenant.

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Presented by: Ryan White

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  1. Marriage as a Covenant Tabernacle of David Presentation Presented by: Ryan White

  2. Objectives for the Series • Discuss the difference between Covenant and Contract. • Discuss why YHWH created the institution of marriage. • Discuss Genesis 1-3 from the aspect of a marriage covenant. • Discuss principles in Genesis 1-3 that can make your marriage blissful regardless of how bad it has become. • Define the roles of a man and woman within a relationship. • Discuss marriage, divorce, and women’s rights in the ancient Near East.

  3. Objectives for the Series • Compare and contrast marriage, divorce, and women’s rights in the ancient Near East with the Torah. • Discuss marriage, divorce, and women’s rights in the First Century • Compare and contrast views and rulings on marriage and divorce in First Century Judaism with the words of Yeshua and Paul.

  4. Resources Used • Marriage as a Covenant by Gordon Hugenberger • Garden of Peace by Rabbi Shalom Arush • Flame of Yahweh by Richard Davidson • Divorce and Remarriage in the Bible by David Instone-Brewer • The Marriage Covenant by Derek Prince • Marriage as Covenant by John Tartwater • Madam I’m Adam (audio) by Rabbi Daniel Lapin • What God has Joined Together (audio) by Tim Hegg

  5. Resources Used • Genesis Sermon Series (audio) by Dr. Gordon Hugenberger • ‘Adultery’ entry in the Encyclopedia of the Bible and Its Reception • The Family in the Old Testament by J. Andrew Dearman • Women in Mesopotamia by M. Stol • A New Understanding of the Divorce and Remarriage Legislation in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 by Anthony Garrett • A Typology of Israelite Marriage: Kinship, Socio-Economic, and Religious Factors by Allen Guenther

  6. Current State of Marriage • “No Fault” divorce introduced in 1970’s • Skyrocketing divorce rates • Over 50% of marriages today end in divorce • No difference between Christian and secular • Marriage rates down 33% • ~70% of married people unhappy

  7. Values of the Western Culture • Individual choice over moral responsibility • Individuality over community • Independence over interdependence

  8. Contract vs. covenant Covenant: “An elected, as opposed to natural, relationship of obligation established under divine sanction.” Contract: “A private legal or commercial agreement of which the principle guarantors are the courts and community rather than God or the gods.”

  9. 4 “Ingredients” of a Covenant • Personal Relationship • Election • Obligation • Oath

  10. Ezekiel 16:8 “Again I passed by you and looked upon you and saw that your time was the time of love. And I spread My skirt over you and covered your nakedness. And I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you, and you became Mine,” declares the Master יהוה.

  11. Elohim vs. Divorce • Death rates for divorced men are 70% higher than their married counterparts • Death rates for divorced women are 37% higher than their married counterparts • Unemployment rate amongst divorced men is 3 times higher than that of their married counterparts

  12. Malachi 2:10-12 Have we not all one Father? Did not one create us? Why do we act treacherously against one another, to profane the covenant of the fathers? Yehudah has acted treacherously, and an abomination has been done in Yisra’el and in Yerushalayim, for Yehudah has profaned what is set-apart to יהוה– which He had loved – and has married the daughter of a foreign mighty one. Let יהוהcut off from the tents of Ya’akov the man who does this – stirring up or answering, and bringing an offering to יהוהof hosts!

  13. Malachi 2:13-14 And this you have done a second time: you cover the altar of יהוהwith tears, with weeping and crying, because He no longer regards the offering, nor receives it with pleasure from your hands.

  14. Malachi 2:13-14 And you said, “Why?” Because יהוהhas been witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have acted treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.

  15. 1 Peter 3:7 In the same way, husbands, live understandingly together, giving respect to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs togetherof the favor of life, so that your prayers are not hindered.

  16. 1 Timothy 5:8 And if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the belief and is worse than an unbeliever.

  17. Malachi 2:15 And did He not make one? And He had the remnant of the Spirit? And what is the one alone? He seeks a seed of Elohim. So you shall guard your spirit, and let none act treacherously against the wife of his youth.

  18. Malachi 2:16 “For I hate divorce,” said יהוה Elohim of Yisra’ĕl, “and the one who covers his garment with cruelty,” said יהוה of hosts. “So you shall guard your spirit, and do not act treacherously.” (The Scriptures 1998+)

  19. Malachi 2:16 "If one hates and divorces," says Yahweh, God of Israel, "he covers his garments with violence," says Yahweh of Host, "Therefore take heed to yourself and do not be faithless [against your wife]“ (Hugenberger’s Rendition)

  20. Divorce in the ANE (Ancient Near East) • שׁלחshalachH7971 – “to send out” • Idiom for “to divorce” • Deut 24:3, Isaiah 50:1 • גּרשׁgarashH1644– “drive out/driven out” • Idiom for “to divorce” or a divorced woman • Gen 21:10, Lev 21:7, 22:13, Num 30:10-12 • כריתתספרseferkeritutH3748– “bill of divorce”

  21. Marriage in the Ancient Near East

  22. Marriage in the ANE (Ancient Near East) • Began with commitment and then searched for romance • Age: Girls 14-20, boys 26-32 • Arranged, but still given a choice

  23. Marriage in the ANE (Ancient Near East) • Roles in the marriage • Husband: • Civic and military affairs • Provides income, protects household, represents family in court • Wife: • Administers the household and the family business

  24. Marriage in the ANE (Ancient Near East) • Bride-price • Given by the groom to the bride’s father • Usually ~1 years wages • Dowry • Given by the bride’s father to the bride • In the husband’s control and/or sewn into the bride’s gown • Usually 5-25% of the estate

  25. Polygamy in the ANE (Ancient Near East) • While it is never prohibited, the Scriptures teach monogamy as ideal • Most commonly practiced by commoners for the reason of progeny. • Surrogate motherhood • Cost prohibitive • Deut 17:17 & the Essenes

  26. Adultery in the ANE (Ancient Near East) • Witnessed adultery = death • Court proven adultery = divorce • Adulterous wife publically stripped • Suspected adultery – Numbers 5:11-31 • ANE divine river ordeal • Lying about adultery • Deut 22:13-21 • Attempt to steal dowry

  27. Divorce in the ANE (Ancient Near East) Just Cause divorce • Children stay with father • Wife loses dowry • Childlessness was in contract as just ground Unjust Cause divorce • Generally accepted in the ANE • Dowry returned to wife • Deut 22 & Mal 2:16 imply this was unacceptable

  28. Divorce in the ANE (Ancient Near East) • Legal reasons for divorce • For man: • The woman is not a virgin • She refuses cohabitation • She commits adultery • She contracts a disease • She has bad behavior

  29. Divorce in the ANE (Ancient Near East) • Legal reasons for divorce • For woman (only in some cultures): • Bad behavior of the husband • He refuses cohabitation • He is abroad for a long time (i.e. POW) • If woman couldn’t prove neglect, she would be put to death • Some reasons included in marriage contracts such as in cases of polygamy

  30. Divorce in the ANE (Ancient Near East) (Speaking of an amah or maidservant marriage): Exodus 21:10-11 “If he takes another wife, her food, her covering, and her marriage rights are not to be diminished. And if he does not do these three for her, then she shall go out for naught, without silver. “

  31. Divorce in the ANE (Ancient Near East) Understood by most ANE cultures as well as all 3 major sects of Judaism in the 1st Century. Valid grounds for divorce were: • Lack of food • Lack of clothing • Lack of marital rights • Mainly sexual, but included was prohibition against physical abuse

  32. Divorce in the ANE (Ancient Near East) Deuteronomy 24:1-4 “When a man takes a wife and shall marry her, then it shall be, if she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found a matter of uncoveredness in her, and he shall write her a certificate of divorce, and put it in her hand, and send her out of his house, and if she left his house and went and became another man’s wife, and the latter husband shall hate her and write her a certificate of divorce, and put it in her hand,

  33. Divorce in the ANE (Ancient Near East) (cont) and send her out of his house, or when the latter husband dies who took her to be his wife, then her former husband who sent her away is not allowed to take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled, for that would be an abomination before יהוה. And do not bring sin on the land which יהוה your Elohim is giving you as an inheritance.

  34. Marriage in the 1st Century • Due to poorer population, the bride-price was no longer paid; it was promised to the father of the bride and then paid if the man divorced the woman. • Fathers would give large dowries to ensure that the daughters would be self sufficient if death or divorce occurred.

  35. Adultery in the 1st Century Mishnah Ketubot 7.6 These are to be divorced without receiving their Kethubah [Dowry]: a wife who transgresses the Law of Moses or [one who transgresses] Jewish practice. And what is [regarded as a wife`s transgression against] the Law of Moses? Feeding her husband with untithed food, having intercourse with him during the period of her menstruation, not setting apart her dough offering, or making vows and not fulfilling them.

  36. Adultery in the 1st Century And what [is deemed to be a wife`s transgression against] Jewish practice? Going out with uncovered head, spinning in the street or conversing with every man. Abba Saul said: [such transgressions include] also that of a wife who curses her husband`s parents in his presence. R. Tarfon said: also one who screams. And who is regarded a screamer? A woman whose voice can be heard by her neighbours when she speaks inside her house. 

  37. Adultery in the 1st Century TosephtaKetubot 7.6 adds: " and she who goes out with bother her sides [shoulders] uncovered…and bathes in a public bath with any man." Mishnah Sotah 6.1 Requires trial by bitter waters even if she is found alone in a room with a man

  38. Divorce in the 1st Century Exodus 21:10-11 “If he takes another wife, her food, her covering, and her marriage rights are not to be diminished. And if he does not do these three for her, then she shall go out for naught, without silver. “ • qolvahomer (argument from major to minor) • If this case is true…then surely this must be true

  39. Divorce in the 1st Century Lack of food, Lack of clothing, Lack of marital rights • MishnaKetubah 5.6 - "...those without work, every day; workers, twice a week; donkey drivers, once a week, camel drivers, once in thirty days; sailors, once in six months - the words of R. Eliezer“ • Rabbis allowed themselves 30 days of abstinence for Torah study...

  40. Divorce in the 1st Century Mishnah Gittin 9.10 Beth Shammaisay: a man should not divorce his wife unless he has found her guilty of some unseemly conduct, as it says, because he hath found some unseemly thing in her. Beth Hillel, however, say [that he may divorce her] even if she has merely spoilt his food, since it says, because he hath found some unseemly thing in her. R. Akibasays, [He may divorce her] even if he finds another woman more beautiful than she is, as it says, it cometh to pass, if she find no favor in his eyes.

  41. Divorce in the 1st Century Matthew 19:3-6 And the Pharisees came to Him, trying Him, and saying to Him, “Is it right for a man to put away his wife for every reason?” And He answering, said to them, “Did you not read that He who made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? “So that they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what Elohim has joined together, let man not separate.”

  42. Divorce in the 1st Century Matthew 19:7-9 They said to Him, “Why then did Mosheh command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?” He said to them, “Because of the hardness of your hearts, Moshehallowed you to put away your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. “And I say to you, whoever puts away his wife, except on the ground of whoring, and marries another, commits adultery. And whoever marries her who has been put away commits adultery.”

  43. Divorce in the 1st Century Matthew 19:10-12 His taught ones said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is good not to marry.” And He said to them, “Not all receive this word, but only those to whom it has been given, for there are eunuchs who were so born from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the reign of the heavens. He who is able to receive it, let him receive it.”

  44. Matthew 19 Summary • Monogamy • Gen 1:27 was standard proof text, see Damascus document CD 4:20-5:6 • Marriage should be lifelong • Divorce is not God’s will • Divorce is not compulsory, even with adultery • Hardness of hearts – Unwilling to repent

  45. Matthew 19 Summary • Marriage is not compulsory • Thus infertility is not valid grounds for divorce • Divorce for “any matter” is invalid • Ruling against Hillel • Remarriage is invalid after an “any matter” divorce • Ruling against Shammai

  46. Divorce in the Greco-Rome 1 Corinthians 7:1-4 And concerning the matters you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. But because of whoring, let each one have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife what is her due, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

  47. Divorce in the Greco-Rome 1 Corinthians 7:5-8 Do not deprive one another except with agreement for a time, to give yourselves to fasting and prayer. And come together again so that Satan does not try you because of your lack of self-control. And I say this as a concession, not as a command. For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from Elohim, one in this way and another in that. And I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am

  48. Divorce in the Greco-Rome 1 Corinthians 7:9-13 but if they do not have self-control, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn. And to the married I command, not I, but the Master: A wife should not separate from a husband. But if she is indeed separated, let her remain unmarried or be restored to favour with her husband, and let a husband not send away a wife. And to the rest I say, not the Master: If any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she thinks well to live with him, let him not send her away. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he thinks well to live with her, let her not send him away.

  49. Divorce in the Greco-Rome 1 Corinthians 14-16 For the unbelieving husband has been set-apart in the wife, and the unbelieving wife has been set-apart in the husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are set-apart. And, if the unbelieving one separates, let him separate himself. A brother or a sister has not been enslaved in such matters. But Elohim has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you shall save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you shall save your wife?

  50. Divorce in the 1st Century Standard Jewish Divorce Certificate: You are free to marry any Jewish man you wish

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