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From Outline to Rough Draft. What else do you need to do?. Translate what you have into a polished draft: 1. write out an intro that is thoughtful and interesting (see handout) 2. articulate your body paragraph ideas making sure to have great analysis.
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What else do you need to do? • Translate what you have into a polished draft: • 1. write out an intro that is thoughtful and interesting (see handout) • 2. articulate your body paragraph ideas making sure to have great analysis • 3. Write a conclusion that restates your main points and MORALIZES • 4. Review the essay prompt sheet and be sure you are fulfilling all directions • Come to class with a terrific draft (hardcopy only) and a willingness to edit it next class.
Keep in mind • You don’t have the title and author in the thesis that comes earlier in the intro • Your thesis needs an overall or “blanket claim” that incorporates and relates to your blueprint. Don’t be afraid of breaking up your thesis into two sentences. • It is never a good idea to have a chronological argument (I am worried about #3 and #5 if your argument is chronological).
Quote Commentary How to Produce Thoughtful Analytical Commentary
Quote Commentary/Analysis • Topic SentenceSupportingIdeas/DetailsQuoteIntegration(Context/Tagline)QuoteQuote Analysis/Commentary • Quote commentary/analysis is the most important part of your entire paragraph – it is where you try to persuade your reader that your point of view is convincing. • Quote commentary should come AFTER the quote. • Quote commentary should be as long OR LONGER than the quote you are using as evidence.
Quote Analysis/Commentary • Quote commentary should always answer two questions: • 1.) Why and how does this quote help to prove MY TOPIC SENTENCE • 2.) Why and how does this all connect back to MY THESIS? • Ask yourself these questions every single time you are about to write a quote analysis.After you write the analysis for the quote, ask yourself, “So what?” • This will force you to extend your analysis to answer not just the first question, but the second one, making your analysis both thorough and persuasive.
Paraphrase Students often mistake paraphrase for analysis. The following three passages are followed by examples of paraphrase. The observations are not analytical; instead, they merely restate the passage in other words. Paraphrase is inadequate as insight because it does little more than tell us what we already know from reading the quote, instead of telling us what the quote means.
Paraphrase • From The Chosen by ChaimPotok • “The Hdrangea bush on our lawn glowed in the sunlight, and I stared at it. I had never really paid any attention to it before. Now it seemed suddenly luminous and alive” (Potok 93). • Reuven comes home and sees the bush in front of his house in a new way. He stresses that this is different form the way he saw the bush before.
Paraphrase • From The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan • “My mother didn’t treat me this way because she didn’t love me. She would say this biting back her tongue, so she wouldn’t wish for something that was no longer hers” (Tan 45). • Lindo Jong says that her mother did actually love her but couldn’t express that love.
Commentary/Analysis True commentary is analytical and does not restate what the author has written; instead, it explains what the author means. The easiest way to comment on a passage is to find a key word, phrase, or image and explain how its connotations give us a deeper insight into what the passage means.
Commentary/Analysis • From The Chosen by ChaimPotok • “The Hydrangea bush on our lawn glowed in the sunlight, and I stared at it. I had never really paid any attention to it before. Now it seemed suddenly luminous and alive” (Potok 93). • Potok fills this passage with images of light, playing on the book’s theme of vision and insight. Returning to his home after his eye operation, Reuven’s new ability to see is reflected in a world that, despite his bandaged eye, “glowed in the sunlight,” a world so newly vibrant that it becomes “luminous,” a contrast to the darkness of the eye ward.
Commentary/Analysis • From The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan • “My mother didn’t treat me this way because she didn’t love me. She would say this biting back her tongue, so she wouldn’t wish for something that was no longer hers” (Tan 45). • Raised in a culture that discourages emotional expression, Lindo Jong learns from her mother to repress her emotions. She symbolizes her mother’s repression by noting the woman’s “biting back her tongue,” effectively censoring any expression of love.
Common Commentary Strategies • 1. Close Reading: Consider the language (word choice, sentence structure, figurative language, imagery) or other literary strategies used in the passage and draw your reader’s attention to the exact words/phrases/images/details in the passage. Then comment on the significance. • 2. Analogy or Simile: Compare what is happening in the passage to something else in order to make your point clearer. • 3. Textual Connections: Draw connections between the quote and other similar moments in the novel or play – paraphrase them and explain how they show similar ideas. • 4. Textual Contradictions: Authors will often include a contradiction between a character’s words / actions in different parts of a story. This can be quite significant. • Ex: Jack initially claims that they ought to have rules because they are not savages. Later on, he contradicts himself when he declares that the rules do not matter, anymore.
In-Class Practice Take any 1-2 of the quotes you have on your outline that need more analysis. Take time now to put the quote under a microscope and work to come up with interesting and thoughtful analysis.
In-Class Practice Directions: With a partner, use one or more of the commentary strategies to write the analysis that would occur right after the quote.
Write with Style • Notice that in the example… • The writing “voice” is formal and academic (3rd person, no contractions). • It is written in literary present tense. • Transitions are used to connect ideas and sentences together. • The diction (word choice) is plain and straight-forward (Don’t be Thesaurus Wrecks)
Banned • “Civilization” / “Savagery” / “Evil” / Other vague, abstract nouns that lack concreteness and specificity. • “This shows that…” • Eliminate this sentence stem completely from your writing toolbox. • Golding implies… suggests… highlights… reveals… underscores… portrays… describes… illustrates… compares… contrasts… insists… demonstrates… acknowledges… observes… notes… asserts… declares… claims… argues… denies… reminds… urges… emphasizes… etc. • (Just ask yourself, what precisely is the author doing with the quote you’re using?)