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Waiting for better days... Couples’ negotiating the transition to the 2 nd child Vanessa Cunha David Cruz University of Lisbon (ICS-UL) . b07RN13 – The Challenges of Family Transitions in Times of Crisis. The research project.
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Waiting for better days...Couples’ negotiating the transition to the 2nd childVanessa CunhaDavid CruzUniversity of Lisbon (ICS-UL) b07RN13 – The Challenges of Family Transitions in Times of Crisis
Main Goal: Portray and enlighten 2 childbearing postponementstransition to parenthood and transition to the 2nd child • Theoretical challenge Bringing together 2 scientific backgrounds: sociology and demography 2) Analytical framework Determinants and pathways that are engendering (each) postponement • Crisis and times of uncertainty for childbearing decisions: income loss, job instability and precariousness, unemployment, retreat of policies and benefits • Cultural drifts regarding childbearing: new requisites (conjugal quality, equal sharing, parental skills, childbearing rewards…); and childfree ideals • Research design Two methodological approaches • Extensive: demographic analysis of Census, micro data on childbirths, surveys • Comprehensive: 60 in-depth interviews with men and women aged 35 and beyond, single or in a couple (both interviewed separately), childless or with one child
The research background The reproductive trajectory of the birth cohort 1970-75 Data from the Survey «Family Trajectories and Social Networks» (2009/10) Research Project Coord. by Karin Wall, 2008-2011, ICS-UL Reconstitution of the life trajectories of three Portuguese generations: 1935-40, 1950-55, 1970-75
Mean number of childbirths at a given age and at the end of RT, by cohortSource: Survey «FTSN» – Portugal 2009/10
Postponingthe 1stchild…childlessnessat age 35, bycohort Source: Survey «FTSN» – Portugal 2009/10
Postponing the 2nd child… Time-span between the 1st and the 2nd child, by cohort(time-span above 5 years and mean number of years) Source: Survey «FTSN» – Portugal 2009/10
COHORT 1970-75: Parity distribution (number of children) at age 35-40 Source: Survey «FTSN» – Portugal 2009/10
COHORT 1970-75: Late childbearing receptiveness (at age 35-40), by current parity Source: Survey «FTSN» – Portugal 2009/10
From 1 to 2: the difficult step? COHORT 1970-75: Reasons for postponingthe transition to the 2nd child
COHORT 1970-75: Disclosing the gender gapmale severe postponement and late childbearing higher receptiveness Childlessnessat age 35 Receptives(at age 35-40), bycurrentparity
Couples’ negotiating the transition to the 2nd childMaria & Paulo: a case study
Maria & Paulo: both aged 35, married, a 5 year-old daughter End of previous relationship (24) Professional experience (22) Return to full-time employment (31) Entry into university (18) 18 25 30 35 yrs. old Marriage (27) Transition to parenthood (30) 18 25 30 35 yrs. old Cohabiting experience (21-22) Foundation of own business (32) Beginning current relationship (25) Beginning of professional life (17) Leaving high education
Negotiating the 1st child willingness vs. ambivalence It was Paulo who raised the issue after we were married (…): “let’s have children”! We began to talk frankly about it and we realized that I was not very open to the idea. He was more willing to have children. Therefore, at some point we had to decide (…), because I was 29, going into the 30s… it’s the ideal age to have the 1st child. (Maria) Maria was always afraid of everything. For buying the house she said she was afraid (…). The marriage, it was really a consequence… she didn’t talk about it, but I asked her to marry me and she said yes. And having children, I was also the one who said it was time to have a child. She didn’t think that way, but she said: “I trust you, let’s have a child”. There it is… taking a position. I use to say that Maria makes all the decisions on a daily basis, while I make the long-term decisions. (Paulo)
Requisites for childbearingmaternal calling, conjugal quality, (perceived) parental skills I wasn´t like my daughter, who is with the dolls around all the time and calls them children and has lots of children! I had colleagues and friends whose dream was to have children, a boy and a girl and so on... I was never like that. Paulo was what I conceive of as a person up to be the father of my children. For his character, for his way of being, for the relationship we have. I thought that he would be the ideal person… the ideal person to be the father of my child. (Maria)
Negotiating the 2nd child 2nd child = less conjugal (and parental) quality? Obviously there will be less time for the couple’s relation (…). Laura can be affected as well, isn’t it? Because, at this moment, she has all the attention (…). When she was born, Maria was too much focused on the baby. One of my worries is that if we have a second child, she will probably be very engaged again. And I will stay aside. And I think that I will probably have to compensate Laura with some [additional] affection. (Paulo)
Negotiating the 2nd child (other) personal fulfillment vs. (own) family project My idea always was to have 3 children. I come from a family of 3 (…). But here we go… she is receptive, but she is not receptive. There is always a doubt. But at this moment there is also the thesis. If she gets pregnant now, it would be like throwing the work into the garbage (…). Having a child can’t castrate Maria. There is Maria’s personal fulfillment (…). But time runs against us, because our capacity to conceive is about to end. Women can have children until 40, some until 35, some others until 45… But it is in this stage that it can end. When 2 people disagree in this kind of position, obviously it may cause some damage. But things have to be faced. And there must be mutual respect. (Paulo)
Negotiating the 2nd child ambivalence, postponing for better days & childbearing pressure Paulo already said to me: “Now this decision is more yours than mine (…). Now you have to have the final word”. It affects me the opinion of people that, at age 45, have only one child and wanted to have 2, and that say they regret it and they should had have the 2nd (…). They all say: “If you are waiting for better days, they won’t come. It will be worse and worse”. And I end up thinking about what people say. If there is the will to give Laura a brother, it should be as soon as possible. (Maria)
Requisites for childbearing childbearing rewards, gender balance in family life I’m afraid of having a restless child, the opposite of Laura, who would give us the sort of problems that we wouldn’t be able to cope with, making things more difficult. He doesn’t feel the need [to drive] and he hasn’t get realized realize yet the need of having the driving license for his family. And he is also a bit indulgent, since he is aware that taking the driving license, I’ll ask him to do certain things that he doesn’t do in the present. [For having other child] our family engine should be revised… (…) No way to have another child without his driving license! I would be at the hospital giving birth and who would take Laura to school? (Maria)
A difficult step gender imbalance, job instability and uncertainty in times of crisis Rationally, I don’t know if it will be possible [to have the 2nd child]. There will have to be a change in what I do [professionally], because although I love what I do, it’s not a stable thing. Thinking about Paulo, he is the main breadwinner, we are dependent on him and we shouldn’t be. I think that a couple shouldn’t be dependent on one of the partners. Both should contribute and it should be possible to survive if one fails. And that doesn’t happen in our cause. If Paulo fails, I don’t know what will happen to us (…). If with a child it would be difficult, with 2… my God! (…). The way things are nowadays… This is horrible; it’s incredible how the crisis affects us in such a brutal way! (Maria)
Life course: life circumstances and events (unemployment, divorce…). Gender: men’s viewpoints and role; gender gap on fertility agenda. Conjugal negotiation: imbalances in private and public sphere, power relations, mutual influence. Social imbalance: uneven childbearing chances in Portuguese society reinforced by the deepening of the crisis (unemployment, public policy retreat…)and uncertainty. TO CONCLUDE: A broad understanding of childbearing postponement and late childbearing intentions and decisions demands…
Waiting for better days...Couples’ negotiating the transition to the 2nd child http://duploadiamento.wordpress.com/ vanessa.cunha@ics.ul.pt david.cruz@ics.ul.pt