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Communication Skills

Learn how to improve your communication skills to build deeper connections with others. This module explores different levels of communication and provides tips and techniques for effective listening and responding. Discover the power of understanding and expressing feelings in order to foster meaningful relationships.

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Communication Skills

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  1. Communication Skills Family Life Certification Module #7

  2. Jesus’ Four Encounters The woman at the well (John 4:4-26) Nicodemus at night (John 3:1-15) • Zacchaeus • (Luke 19:1-9) The rich young ruler (Luke 18:18-25)

  3. Level One • Cliché • No depth • Meaningless greetings • Have you eaten? • How are you? • No processing or analyzing • Just for courtesy when meeting others • No intimacy

  4. Level Two • Reporting • Sharing facts • News • Topics of interest

  5. Level Three • My opinions and point of view • That was such an uplifting testimony! • I consider that a lame excuse. • You made an excellent point during the discussion. • Your essay was the best in the whole class. • Watch the way you spoil your baby! • If you continue in this way, you will soon be the top engineer of my company.

  6. Level Four • My Feelings • I’m disappointed because you failed the exam • I’m so happy that I could burst. • I’m absolutely satisfied with your work. • More revealing of self • First level of a more intimate conversation • Shared between close friends, married couples, parents and children, employer-employee

  7. Level Five • Deep, Intimate Communication • Possible between spouses • Between parents & children • Bares the feelings in an attempt to understand the other person • Deeper communication that is possible because of shared relationships, memories and experiences

  8. Good Communication means: • Sharing thoughts and feelings • Expressing your love • Clearly stating your intentions • Listening and responding correctly

  9. Communication Tips • Avoid • Never • Always • Avoid indirect and non-specific conversation • Be direct (esp women) • Say what you mean • Take turns talking and listening in order to have an enjoyable conversation; don’t interrupt • Don’t use the silent treatment

  10. Communication Tips • Avoid criticism and negative talk • Focus on encouraging talk • Parents need to learn this #1 skill in building confidence of children • Maintain good eye contact • Shifty eyes denote lack of interest/dishonesty • Anger/broken relationship • If you don’t understand or think the other person does not understand you, clarify and paraphrase • Set aside time for communication and work on it—it’s worth it!

  11. Communication Principles • Lag Time • Congruence • Interpersonal Gap

  12. Principles to Understand and Use Information 4. Body Language • Openness • Defensiveness • Evaluation • Suspicion • Insecurity • Cooperation • Confidence • Nervousness • Frustration

  13. 5. The Cry for Help 6. Listening Techniques • ASK the right questions • DO NOT pry • DO NOT be afraid of silence

  14. WAYS OF RESPONDING • Evaluating -- deciding whether right or wrong • Eh, there’s nothing wrong with you! • No need to cry; remember, you are a man and men don’t cry!

  15. WAYS OF RESPONDING • Evaluating -- deciding whether right or wrong • So, what are you going to do about it? • Let me tell you what the real problem is. • This is what you should do.

  16. WAYS OF RESPONDING • Evaluating -- deciding whether right or wrong • A lot of people go through this same thing. • Never mind, just forget all about it. • This is God’s will.

  17. WAYS OF RESPONDING • Hollow listening: listening WITHOUT responding • No evaluation • Pay attention • Indicate involvement by nodding head or saying “uh-huh”, “yes”

  18. WAYS OF RESPONDING • Hollow listening: listening WITHOUT responding • Sometimes say “I understand” or “I think I understand”

  19. Ways of Responding • Evaluating (deciding whether right or wrong) • Hollow listening (listening without responding) Let's review

  20. WAYS OF RESPONDING • Responding with understanding • Listen to the total communication • words • non-verbal (body language) • tone and other cues I hear you...

  21. WAYS OF RESPONDING • Responding with understanding • Try to understand • The personality • The background • The current mood or needs of the person • Try to identify the feelings of the person I hear you...

  22. CHECK FEELINGS Happy Sad

  23. Angry Contented

  24. WAYS OF RESPONDING • Responding with understanding • Express understanding of the feelings • Respond by showing understanding from that person’s point of view and NOT by evaluating I hear you...

  25. Formula for Responding with Understanding You feel ___________ (insert a “feeling” word) because __________ (insert the person’s experience)

  26. Ways of Responding • Evaluating (deciding whether right or wrong) • Hollow Listening (listening without responding) • Responding with Understanding Let's review

  27. REVIEW • Responding with understanding involves • Listening to the total communication • Trying to understand the personality, background and needs of the person • Identifying feelings behind what the person is saying • Expressing understanding of the feelings • Responding by showing understanding from that person’s point of view and NOT by evaluating

  28. At the heart of a good marriage is its communication system Communication

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