1. HELPING GRIEVING CHILDREN BUILD RESILIENCE Saradha Ramachandran HELP Family Service Centre

2. Objectives • Understanding concept of change and loss • Understanding impact of loss on children • Ways of helping grieving children build resilience

3. Understanding children Thoughts SELF Feelings Behaviour

4. Understanding children COMMUNITY PEERS FAMILY CHILD SCHOOL NEIGHBOURHOOD EXTENDED FAMILY

5. Change… Shift from a normal pattern of life that has been developed Involves losses and gains Need to re-establish stability

6. Change & Loss… Event • Separation • Divorce • Death • Loss

7. Understanding of loss … • Unique • Developmental stage • Abilities • Support available

8. Impact of loss on children… • Physical • Emotional • Mental • Behavioural • Social • Spiritual

10. Grief Model • William Worden’s (1991) 4 task of Mourning • To accept the reality of loss • To experience the pain of grief • To adjust to an environment in which the deceased is missing • To find an enduring connection with the deceased in the midst of embarking on a new life

11. Definition of resilience The ability in coping and adapting to the changes and the challenges The capacity to bounce back from disappointments and adversity A process which constantly draws strength in the adversity and taps on potentials for recovery and growth

12. Assumptions • Each child is unique. • Each child has the potential for resilience • Each child has the potential to develop resilience from the resources around them

13. Components of resilience • Social Competence • Problem Solving • Critical Consciousness • Autonomy • A sense of purpose

14. Strength based Model Rutter (1987) • Decreasing risk factors • Reducing negative chain reactions that heighten risk • Strengthening protective family processes • Bolstering esteem and efficacy

15. Approach… • Understanding the loss • Making sense of the loss • Responding to the loss • Learning from the loss

16. Strategies for developing resilience • Rapport building • Respect child’s values and beliefs • Reframing challenges and language use • Reaffirming positives and resist labeling • Refocusing on the child

18. Challenges… • Finding balance in self and children • Overly-enthusiastic • Overly-focused on resilience • Support for self and children • Developing own’s resilience • Collaboration with other organisations

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