COMMUNICATION SKILLS THAT BUILD TRUST

1. COMMUNICATION SKILLS THAT BUILD TRUST COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY TO ACHIEVING ALL OUR GOALS

2. People may Hear your Words but they Feel your Attitude #JohnMaxwell COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY ACHIEVING ALL OUR GOALS

3. IMPROVING COMMUNICATION Face-To-Face Whenever you have difficult information to convey or something that could result in many questions, choose to have a direct face-to-face conversation. NO EMAIL OR TEXT PLEASE You will also have the huge benefit of non-verbal communication cues including tone of voice, facial expressions, and other body language

4. SAVVY EMAIL COMMUNICATION Establish the right tone upfront. E-mail messages have a momentum. If you start on the wrong foot, you will have a difficult time connecting. The “Subject” line and the first three words of a note establish the tone. Remember the permanent nature of e-mails. Using e-mail to praise helps people remember the kind words. Using e-mail to be critical is usually a bad idea because people will re-read the note many times.

5. EMAIL ETIQUETTE Do not treat an e-mail like a conversation. In normal conversation we use the feedback of body language to modify our message, pace, tone, and emphasis in order to stay out of trouble. In e-mail we do not have this real-time feedback. Keep messages short. A good e-mail should take only 15-30 seconds to read and absorb. Less is more in online communication. Try to have the entire message fit onto the first screen. When a messages goes “over the horizon,” the reader does not know how long it is, which creates a psychological block.

6. KEEP YOUR OBJECTIVE IN MIND • Keep your objective in mind. Establish a clear objective of how you want the reader to react to your note. For sensitive notes, write the objective down. When proofreading your note, check to see if your intended reaction is likely to happen. If not, reword the note. • Do not write notes when you are not yourself. This sounds simple, but it is really much more difficult than meets the eye. Learn the techniques to avoid this problem. • Avoid “e-mail grenade” battles. Do not take the bait. Simply do not respond to edgy e-mails in kind. Change the venue to be more effective.

7. HOW TO LISTEN LIKE A PRO EYE CONTACT • By looking the person in the eye you send a message to them: I'm paying attention, I care, and I'm listening. Don't stare at the person dead in the eyes as this can be seen as too intense or even feel intimidating, but rather, look slightly off center to the left or right eye

8. LISTENING IS AN ART ASK OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS This will show them that you're actually interested in what the person has to say and could possibly help the speaker to open up and share more information. That said, avoid questions that have a "yes" or "no" response as that would dead end the conversation. For example, if someone is telling about an event they went to, instead of asking "Did you like it?" Say "Tell me about it."

9. The Listening Dilemma We speak at a rate of about 150 words per minute (wpm), but we can hear at a rate of about 1,000wpm.This gives us a lot of extra time! What do we do with this time?

10. LISTEN WITH YOUR HEART BE EMPATHETIC This is accomplished through many things you'll do. Some are verbal, others non-verbal. Identify what their emotions are and connect with them. For instance, if a friend is telling you about a recent health scare and they're feeling anxious, you might say "I understand how difficult it might make you feel to not know exactly what is going on yet." Also, providing words such as "yes" or "I understand" while they are speaking will help them to feel listened to. Non-verbal ways to build rapport and show you care would be to sit with an open stance as opposed to folded arms, and to nod reassuringly.

11. GOOD LISTENERS TAKE THEIR TIME Don't jump to a solution If you do, then you might not be fully listening, because you're strategizing while they're talking. Sometimes what people want, and need, is simply someone to listen and not necessarily a solution. If they ask for your advice, then that's a different story and you can provide it.

12. LISTENING TIPS • Remember the important points of the message for future application. • Paraphrase the message to the speaker in order to confirm your understanding • Repeat the message to help you remember what was said. • Probe for missing information. • Clarify any points that you do not completely understand.

13. THE REWARDS OF BEING A GOOD LISTENER • When we listen to others with the ears of understanding, we build trust and rapport and effectively communicate how much we care about that person. “People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care”

14. GROUP DISCUSSION How can we use this information to improve our communication in our Clubs? How will this improve retention of our members? Achieve recruitment Goals? Build the next generation of Club Leaders?

15. TAKE THE FOCUS OFF YOURSELF AVOID BRINGING YOURSELF INTO THE CONVERSATION By saying things like "that's exactly what I went through" you run the risk of alienating the person. Usually people, on an emotional level, don't have the same experiences, so by saying that you did you might end up showing a lack of sensitivity and could minimize their experience.

16. PUT YOURSELF IN THEIR SHOES MAKE IT ALL ABOUT THEM Rather than thinking about a response, try to understand what they're going through at an emotional level. For example, if a friend tells you about losing a job, think about their situation and how it might impact them, not how you would feel if you were in their situation.

17. DISPLAY GOOD MANNERS DON’T INTERROGATE OR INTERRUPT Although these might seem like obvious things to avoid, people need to be reminded. Stay focused on the person in front of you. Let them talk. You can gently ask questions later.

18. PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT • So, next time you find yourself engaging in conversation, practice being a really good listener. Start with the clerk at the store. Engage the person in conversation and put these seven tips into action. Then try them out with your colleagues and friends. You might be amazed at how effective you can be by simply listening better. • QUESTION: How will improving listening skills help with member retention in our Soroptimist Clubs?