Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence Dr. Michael John Roe THS

“We are being judged by a new yardstick: not just how smart we are, or by our training and expertise, but also by how well we handle ourselves and each other…” Daniel Goleman

Defined • Emotional Intelligence • Refers to the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, from motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships • In what ways do emotions influence the workplace?

EI Domains and Competencies • Self Awareness • Your ability to accurately perceive your emotions and stay aware of them when they happen. • This includes keeping on top of how you tend to respond to specific conditions, situations, and certain people • Self confidence • Awareness of your emotional state • Understanding how other people influence your behavior and how your behavior impacts others

Self Management • Your ability to use awareness of your emotions to stay flexible and positively direct your behavior. • This means managing your emotional reactions to all situations and people • How you handle stress and frustration • Knowing when to speak up and when to stand back • Flexibility to change and make the most of all circumstances • These first two skills focus on you…

Contact with Other People • Social Awareness • Your ability to accurately pick up on emotions in other people and get what is really going on. • This often means understanding what other people are thinking and feeling, even if you don’t feel the same way • Picking up on the mood in the room • Caring about what others are going through • Hearing what the other person is “really” saying

Relationship Management • Your ability to use awareness of your emotions and the emotions of others to manage interactions successfully. • Letting emotional awareness guide clear communication and effective handling of conflict. • Clearly expressing ideas and information • Getting along well with others and handling conflict effectively • Using awareness of other people’s experiences to manage interactions successfully

What does EI look like? The four parts of the EI model are based upon a connection between what you see and what you do with yourself and others What I See What I Do Personal Competence Social Competence

Of all the characteristics essential for leadership of modern organizations, I believe the most important is self-awareness. A host of ills (and evils) follow those who lack a fundamental knowledge of their strengths and weaknesses along with the self-mastery to handle them both… C. Michael Thompson The Congruent Life

The Link to Leadership • Leadership • Leadership is authentic self-expression that creates value (Kevin Cashman, Leadership from the Inside Out) All significant growth and development begins with self-leadership, mastery of oneself…

Leadership • How authentic are you as a leader? • How deep and broad is your self-expression? • How much value are you creating?

Leadership Model

Leadership Presence Leadership presence is… “The ability to connect authentically with the thoughts and feelings of others in order to motivate and inspire them toward a desired outcome.” “Leaders need presence, because at its core leadership is about the interaction, the connection, the relationship, between the leader and the people he/she leads…” Halpern and Lubar

PRES Model • P = Being Present – the ability to be completely in the moment, and flexible enough to handle the unexpected • R = Reaching Out – the ability to build relationships with others through empathy, listening, and authentic connection • E = Expressiveness – the ability to express feelings and emotions appropriately by using all available means – words, voice, body, face – to deliver one congruent message • S = Self-knowing – the ability to accept yourself, to be authentic, and to reflect your values in your decisions and actions.

The Right Questions • Ten essential questions to guide you to an extraordinary life of teaching and being • Written by Debbie Ford • Central Challenge – take what we know and produce it into constant effective pieces – • What’s working – What’s effective

Will this choice propel me toward an inspiring future, or will it keep me stuck in the past?

Will this choice bring me long-term fulfillment or will it bring me short-term gratification?

Am I standing in my power or am I trying to please another?

Am I looking for what is right or am I looking for what’s wrong?

Will this choice add to my life force or will it rob me of my energy?

Will I use this situation as a catalyst to grow and evolve or will I use it to beat myself up?

Does this choice empower me or does it disempower me?

Is this an act of self-love or is it an act of self sabotage?

Is this an act of faith or is it an act of fear?

Am I choosing from my divinity or am I choosing from my humanity?

“An extraordinary person is an ordinary person who makes extraordinary choices…they hold bigger visions for themselves than the ones dictated by their underlying commitments…they allow their individual lives to be used to serve the world around them…and they make choices that are consistent with the highest expression of themselves for the greater good of the world…” Debbie Ford (176)

Emotional Intelligence