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Mental & Emotional Tool Kit for Life

Mental & Emotional Tool Kit for Life

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Mental & Emotional Tool Kit for Life

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  1. Mental & EmotionalTool Kitfor Life

  2. Ray Mathiswww.itsjustanevent.com

  3. YouTubeChannel: itsjustaneventMental and EmotionalFitness Parts 1-13

  4. “Any job is easyif you use the right tool”

  5. Tool #1To recognize and appreciatethe important role Emotionplays in everyday life

  6. E – Motioncan be helpfulEnergy to Move

  7. Dysfunctional Amount of Emotion • More than is necessary or helpful • More than we’d like to have • More than we know what to do with • More than is healthy for us • A type and amount that works against us instead of for us

  8. Makes us REACT to lifeinstead ofRESPOND to it

  9. It makes us lessResponse-ABLE

  10. Response-AbilityAbility to respond to lifeinstead of react to it

  11. It can makeotherwise smart peopledo stupid things

  12. Behavior starts and continues becauseit serves a purposeIt’s alwaysgoal-orientated

  13. Mistaken Goals • Get us off course • Get some immediate satisfaction • Less likely to get what we really want in the long run

  14. Tool #8To recognize when you and others haveMistaken Goals

  15. Mistaken Goals • Attention (love, acceptance, approval, respect) • Power (control) • Revenge • Avoidance of Failure • Withdrawal-Avoidance-Relief

  16. DysfunctionalAmount of Emotion • Gives purpose to unhealthy, self-defeating behavior • Driving force behind behavior intended to satisfy mistaken goals

  17. The more Emotion someonegenerates • The more purpose it serves • The more driven people are

  18. My Goal TodayTeach you how to havetruly effectiveEmotional Management

  19. Tool #2UnconditionalSelf-Acceptance(USA)

  20. SHAMEWhen you believe youaren’t living up to your ownor someone else’sExpectations

  21. Parents Teachers Coaches Friends Religion Society There are alwaysplenty of Expectations from

  22. Plenty Plenty of = ofExpectationsOpportunities for young people to feel SHAME

  23. Too many young people are even told“You should beASHAMEDof yourself”

  24. Please don’t ever say thatto YOUR kidsTeachers never should

  25. Primary DisturbanceSHAME can be the primary feeling people seek relief from by • Alcohol abuse • Drug abuse • Suicide

  26. SHAMEis often the reason studentsshut down in schooland eventually drop out

  27. Secondary DisturbanceSHAME is also makes people • Keep what they think and feel a secret • Less likely to ask for or accept help that’s available

  28. Lots of bad things happenbecausepeople keep secrets

  29. How keeping secrets hurts • Irrational thoughts get rehearsed • “Like a broken record” • Thoughts go unchallenged • Develop cognitive “RUTS” • Becomes automatic to think that • OPINIONS start to feel like FACTS

  30. Suicide#3 cause of death for teensIs that decision usually based onFACTS or OPINIONSabout themselves and their life?

  31. “My life sucks”“I can’t take any more of this”“It’s never going to get any better”“They’re never going to stop”“I’m never going to feel better”Facts or Opinions?

  32. “Shame blocks change”Dr. Albert EllisIt keeps people from makingchanges they couldand might need to make

  33. SHAME can lead to • Anxiety • Anger

  34. ANGERgives people a false sense of • Power • Righteousness • Permission • Protection

  35. TurtlesorRattlesnakes

  36. Low Self EsteemSHAME + ANXIETY about about the past the future

  37. Part of the solutionisU.S.A.

  38. Anything youthink, feel, say or do is perfectlyUNDERSTANDABLE

  39. That does NOT mean it’s • Helpful (rational) • Healthy • Acceptable to others

  40. Put other people through exactly what you’vebeen throughAnd they’d probably end upthinking, feeling and doingwhat you do(And maybe even worse)

  41. We all do the BEST we can at the timeGiven what we’vebeen throughAnd the situations wefind ourselves in

  42. Regardless of what youthink, feel, say or do • You’ll never be the first • You’re never going to be the last • You’ll always have a lot of company • It’s part of being human

  43. No one’s perfectEveryone makes mistakes

  44. We’re all FHB’sFallible Human BeingsDr. Albert Ellis

  45. Who at timesthink, feel, say and do thingsthat make our livesworse instead of better

  46. It’s nothing to be ashamed of

  47. UnconditionalOther Acceptance(UOA)

  48. Benefits to you • Can still dislike what others say and do • Less likely to take what others say and do personally • Generate a lot less emotion

  49. Tool #3To develop anInternal Locus of Control