Adolescent Development A (very) Brief Overview

1. Adolescent DevelopmentA (very) Brief Overview Kaisa Lee, Licensed School Counselor Kaisa.lee@mpls.k12.mn.us

2. Tonight we will talk about... • Adolescent Physical Development • Adolescent Brain/Cognitive Development • Adolescent Emotional Development

3. Hitting Puberty... • Growth Spurts: • Females-begins at ages 10-12, ends around age 17-19 • Males-begins at ages 12-14, ends around age 20 • Bodies Changing: • Age at which this occurs varies for both genders... • Females: • Breasts form around age 10 (or earlier/later) • Menstruation starts around age 12-13 • Estrogen.... • Males: • Testes enlarge around age 11-12 • Voice changes later, body hair • Testosterone...

4. Puberty can be tough... • Early/Late Maturation: POSSIBLE affects • Early maturation in girls – feelings of embarrassment, at higher risk for depression, risky behaviors, substance abuse, and eating disorders • Early maturation in boys – risk for earlier sexual activity, delinquency problems, high risk behaviors • Late maturation in boys – higher risk for depression, conflict with parents, feelings of embarrassment, school problems, risk for being bullied due to smaller size • Looking mature (older) can lead to problems with not being mentally mature (incapable of handling certain situations)

5. Keep in mind... • Your child may look older with earlier puberty changes, but they still need supervision, curfews, etc. • Your child may look younger with later puberty changes, but they still need you to give them more independence • “You’re treating me like a child!” • “Johnnie can stay out late, why can’t I?!” (older friends, different rules)

6. Body image • Media portrayals of attractiveness • Comparing of peers • Risk of eating disorders (both males and females) • Be a good example! • Healthy choices: food, exercise, habits • Don’t focus on only physical compliments for self-esteem* • Self Reflect on what they are observing in you.... • Monitor what they are wearing....revealing clothing, clothes that fit well • Listen to what they are saying....* • Dieting can be destructive in adolescence*

7. Cognitive Development Are you frustrated with the... • Impulsivity • Arguing • Immaturity • Self – Centeredness • Going against everything you say. • Forgetting to do things (ok everything)

8. From black/white to Gray Now more capable of: • Thinking abstractly (instead of concretely) • Analyzing situations logically (cause and effect, find hypothetical situations, relate experiences, etc.) • Reasoning effectively • Making thought out decisions • Problem Solving • Planning for the future REMEMBER THIS IS ALL DEVELOPING! (Expecting these things all the time = adults disappointed and teens feeling misunderstood)

9. Building roads... • By the time they reach middle school, their brains reach full size • By around age 12, nerve cells and connections hit a growth spurt! • Actually continues until mid-late 20s • Their brains are fine tuning its network....building roads..... • Adult brains are like the post interstate highway systems • Adolescent brains are like the pre interstate highway systems ...Yet we expect teens to arrive at the same destination at the same time?

10. Prefrontal cortex (forehead part) • LAST part of the brain to develop (continues into 20s or even early 30s) • Developing now for your kids! • Responsible for executive skills: • Time management • Organization • Short-term memory • Goal setting • Initiation • Self restraint (controlling impulses) • “So THAT’S why they always forget to turn in their homework, give me a knee jerk reaction, and “forget” to take out the garbage!”

11. Put your seat belts on!

12. Those darn hormones! Males: • Testosterone: • producing 20x more than in elementary school • Can cause increased aggression, decrease desire to talk and connect socially • Vasopressin: • Produces this also which affects ability to read facial expressions • When the two hormones mix....stress hormone cortisol increases and....

13. Those Darn Hormones! Females: • Comes with their menstrual cycle...or rollercoaster • Estrogen: think fluffy clouds and sunshine • In the beginning of their cycle, estrogen increases = confident, energetic • Estrogen also releases oxytocin that increases their desire for intimate connections (loving, kind, feeling closer, etc.) • Progesterone: think rain and thunder • Towards the latter part of their cycle progesterone kicks in • Can cause irritability, fatigue

14. SLEEp, sleep, sleep! • When their hormones are increased this causes them to have difficulty going to bed earlier like when they were in elementary • The “adolescent jet lag” when they have to wake up before 7a.m.! • Important to shut off screen time before bed • Set routines • National Sleep Institute recommends at least 9 hours of sleep for adolescents....(nature’s way of making adolescent years even more difficult) • When sleep deprived, they become irritable and their emotional connections in the brain to their prefrontal cortex aren’t as strong

15. Decisions... • Help them develop decision making skills. • Avoid making decisions for them all the time. • Need for independence! • They WANT your help still.... • Give multiple choices • Help make connections between emotions and decision making • Help them think about the consequences (natural) of their decisions • Part of that prefrontal cortex!

16. Emotional development • Coping with stress • Relating to others • Managing emotions All relating to their sense of identity... Sense of Identity: self-concept and self-esteem Self-Concept – beliefs about one’s attributes (short, smart), roles and goals, and interests, values, and beliefs Self-Esteem – how one feels about their self-concept

17. Sense of identity • Experimenting with alternative ways of the way they look, sound, and behave (this is normal and part of achieving their realistic sense of identity) • This is a positive thing! That they feel secure enough to experiment with the unknown. (As long as it isn’t putting their health or life in danger.) • Ask questions without judgement! • May experiment with new sexual/intimate feelings....LGBTQ • Foster their individuality! (even if it’s something you NEVER would have worn, done, or tried) • Think back to when you were their age....what did you do to experiment with various areas of identity?

18. Low self-esteem • Gap between their self-concept and their self-esteem • Signs may include: • Feeling depressed • Lacking energy • Disliking one’s appearance and rejecting compliments • Feeling insecure or inadequate most of the time • Having unrealistic expectations of oneself • Having serious doubts about the future • Being excessively shy and rarely expressing one’s own point of view • Doing what others want to make them happy and not thinking of oneself

19. Emotional Intelligence “EQ” • Recognizing and Managing Emotions • Developing Empathy • Learning to Resolve Conflict Effectively • Learning how to Cooperate with others instead of always Competing

20. Social Development • Peer Relationships........world goes from revolving around family, to friends • This doesn’t mean that family is less important.....IN FACT..........family connectedness is the strongest factor in not smoking, using less alcohol, waiting longer to have sex, and fewer suicide attempts in adolescence • This increased focus on peer relationships is HEALTHY!  • Positive Peer Groups and Friendships = healthier self-worth • Acceptance is HUGE in their world (anyone’s really) • Having at least one mutual friendship in adolescence is linked to a more positive self-image and better performance in school • Independence from you as parents/guardians by spending more time with friends is healthy 

21. Social world • Several ways they communicate and figure out where they stand in the “group” or the status of one’s friendship • Facebook • Texting • Instagram/Snapchat • Google Chat • Relational Aggression is seen A LOT in middle school • Dating.....starts around age 14, comes with the hormones and emotions • Talk to them about healthy relationships! • Talk to them about sex! • A study found that about 50%-67% of teens have had sexual intercourse by the time they graduate from high school

22. Relationships with your kids... • It’s NORMAL for it to feel more distant from your adolescent. • It’s a part of them trying to find their independence from you at the same time trying to relate to you differently as they get older. • May come across as distant and awkward • Don’t take it personally! • Don’t distance yourself completely----give them their space but at the same time, maintain that relationship even if it’s uncomfortable • Minor conflicts or arguments about day-to-day things is NORMAL • No you ARE NOT a bad parent/guardian! • Independence!

23. School • Transition from elementary (E2) to middle school is ROUGH! • Frequently grades drop, more problems in school, hard adjustments • Help them stay organized • Reminders • Routines • Communication with teachers, school counselor, other staff • Self-esteem can take a hit when struggling with the transition

24. Behavioral development • Engaging in risky behaviors is NORMAL in adolescence....but there’s a line • Independence • Try out their new decision-making skills • Need to also feel the results of their experimentation • Help them make these decisions for themselves! • Peer Pressure • Smoking (cigarettes and other substances) • Alcohol • Drugs • Sex

25. Tips • Listen • Be Non-Judgmental • Keep an Open Line of Communication without Prying too much • Give them responsibilities that have natural positive consequences • For example: Cleaning their room means they can have friends over because they will be able to enjoy it more. • Don’t freak out!  • You will survive adolescence and so will they!

26. Resources • American Psychological Association • Developing Adolescents: A Reference for Professionals, 2002 • American School Counselor Association • The Adolescent Brain, Terence J. Houlihan and Eileen C. Houlihan, ASCA School Counselor Article, November 2011