Conflict Management & Confrontation

1. Conflict Management & Confrontation A Guide to Appropriate Confrontation Practices 

2. Conflict • The fact that conflict exists is not a bad thing. • Conflict that is resolved effectively can lead to personal and professional growth. • Effective conflict resolution skills can make the difference between positive and negative outcomes.

3. Benefits to Conflict Resolution • Increased understanding • The discussion needed to resolve conflict expands in people’s awareness of how they can achieve their own goals without undermining those of other people.

4. Benefits to Conflict Resolution • Increased group cohesion • When conflict is resolved effectively, those involved can develop stronger mutual respect, and a renewed faith in their ability to work or live together.

5. Benefits to Conflict Resolution • Improved self knowledge • Conflict pushes individuals to expand themselves and helps them to understand the things that are most important to them.

6. Conflict Resolution Tip #1 • Make sure that good relationships are the first priority. • Make sure that everyone involved treats one another calmly and exercises mutual respect. Everyone involved should be courteous to one another and remain constructive under pressure.

7. Conflict Resolution Tip #2 • Keep people and problems separate. • Recognize that in many cases the other person is not just “being difficult”. Real and valid differences can lie behind the conflictive positions. By separating the problem from the person, real issues can be debated without damaging relationships.

8. Conflict Resolution Tip #3 • Pay attention to the interests that are being presented. • If those involved listen carefully to one another, they will most likely understand why each person is adopting his or her position.

9. Conflict Resolution Tip #4 • Set out the “Facts”. • Agree and establish the objective, observable elements that will have an impact on the decision. • Listen first, talk second. • To solve a problem effectively you have to understand where the other person is coming from before defending your own position.

10. Conflict Resolution Tip #5 • Explore options together. • Be open to the idea that a third position may exist, and that your residents can get to this idea jointly.

11. Confrontation Defined… • Confrontation can be difficult – sometimes you have to practice in order to confront someone. • It’s okay to ask for help! • It’s a scary job, but somebody has to do it! • And yes, that somebody is you!

12. Reasons for Confrontation • Policy Violation • Inappropriate Behavior • Destructive Behavior • Lack of job performance/follow – through • Lack of support • Mistrust

13. Types of Confrontation: Man vs. Student (Resident) • Your residents are not always going to be perfect angels! There are times when you will have to confront policy violations, behavioral issues, etc. • This doesn’t mean that you confront just the residents on your floor – it applies to your entire building! • RAs are expected to confront students when they exhibit behavior that is inappropriate to the residence hall environment.

14. Types of Confrontation: Man vs. Supervisor • Supervisor Confrontation • Sometimes your Hall Director will make a mistake (yes, it does happen!) • As your Hall Director, we know that you may not always agree with a decision we have made. We do expect that you talk with us about your concerns instead of talking about us to your residents and fellow staff members. • Example: If you believe your HD is doing one of the following, you should probably confront him/her: Lack of Follow-Through on Own Expectations, Lack of Follow-Through on Job Performance, Trust Issues/Lack of Support, or Disagreement on Handling/Follow-Through of Situations.

15. The Residence Life Standpoint… • You have the ability to use good judgment when confronting. • People have the freedom to make choices, some of which you may not agree with or may be a violation of policy. They are responsible for their actions. Actions may have consequences. • Everyone deserves respect. You must give it to receive it. Just because you are an RA, doesn’t mean that you will be respected. • The student conduct process is meant to be educational, not a form of punishment.

16. Guidelines for Confrontation • Be simple and direct. Watch your tone and use of words. • Know the facts! • Be specific and clear. • Confront the behavior, not values or the person. • Confront the behavior in a positive and constructive manner. • Attempt to make the confrontation objective (your observance). • End of confrontation and follow-up!

17. Five Confrontation Styles • Collaborating • Compromising • Accommodating • Competing • Avoiding

18. Confrontation Styles: Collaborating • Teamwork and cooperation help everyone achieve their goals while also maintaining relationships. • This style is useful when you need to bring together a variety of viewpoints to get the best solution; when there have been previous conflicts in the group; or when the situation is too important for a simple trade-off • Can be time consuming, but is the best way to make sure everyone is happy! 

19. Confrontation Styles: Compromising • Meeting each other in the middle. • You win some and you lose some. • To be used when time is of the essence! • A reasonable decision for the issue at hand will be reached.

20. Confrontation Styles: Accommodating • Going with the flow” because your idea is not necessarily better than what has been presented to you. • Not to be used frequently or as a method to end a much needed conversation quickly. • Issues with Accommodating: • People may not return favors. • Overall this approach is unlikely to give the best outcomes.

21. Confrontation Styles: Competing • A method used when you know you are right without a shadow of a doubt • Very matter-of-fact approach • This style can be useful when there is an emergency and a decision needs to be made fast. • Issues: • This style can leave people feeling bruised, unsatisfied and resentful when used in less urgent situations.

22. Confrontation Styles: Avoiding • When the situation is a “bit much” for you, take a brief time-out and take the situation on again when you are ready. • This style can be appropriate when victory is impossible, when the controversy is trivial, or when someone else is in a better position to solve the problem. • Issues: • In most situations, this is a weak and ineffective approach .

23. QUIZ TIME!!! • Take the info you learned from this presentation and take the on-line quiz!