Child Behavior & Guidance Part 2: Influences on Behavior

1. Child Behavior & Guidance Part 2: Influences on Behavior Oklahoma Cooperative Extension ServiceCore In-Service November 10, 20099:30-11:00 a.m. Debbie Richardson, Ph.D. Parenting Assistant Extension Specialist Human Development & Family Science Oklahoma State University

2. Introduction • Welcome • Centra Instructions • Overview of In-service • Resource Materials

3. In-Service Objectives Extension Educators will be able to identify and understand: • linkages between developmental ages/stages and behavior for children between 2 to 12 years of age. • factors and contexts that influence children’s behavior.

4. Understanding a Child’s Behavior • Developmental stage • Individual differences • Environment • Their knowledge level and readiness to learn • Unmet needs

5. Domains of Development Physical Emotional Cognitive Social • All areas are developing at the same time. • They are related and influence each other. • Development may not be even in all domains. • Important to respect each child as individual.

6. Developmental Ages & Stages • Normal changes in child’s growth and behavior • Stages of growth build one upon another • Switch back & forth between “comfortable” and “uncomfortable” ages/stages • Each new phase brings new challenges - transitional phases

7. Ages & Stages • Much of young children’s behavior that is annoying to adults is part of their learning process and growth • Consider how developmental factors influence behavior • Is it a result of… - physical development? - cognitive development? - social development? - emotional development?

8. Two Year-Olds • Changes are hard; likes repetition & predictability • Short memory • Curious and explores; may get upset when stopped • Cannot sit still; easily distracted, dawdles • Cannot make choices • Frustrated when words aren’t understood • Imitates others • Shows strong sense of self; self-centered • Asserts independence: “me do it” • Is negative; says no a lot • Doesn’t share well; possessive, “mine” • Impatient, hard to wait for turn • May tantrum when things go wrong; extremes

9. 3 Year-Olds • Can sit and listen to stories for up to 10 min. without bothering others • More aware of others’ feelings & shows concern • Can follow brief instructions, accept suggestions • Can make simple choices • Has little reasoning ability – does not relate actions to results • Understands taking turns, but not always willing • Not capable of sharing • May struggle with adults • Friendly and eager to please • Enjoys talking & conversation • Enjoys playing with peers, activities in small groups

10. 4 Year-Olds • Cooperates with others; Still working at taking turns • Makes friends with peers • Participates in group activities • Doesn’t like being left out • Seeks adult approval • Can follow rules, “do’s & don’ts” • Talks a lot; asks many questions • Delights in own silliness and humor • “Bathroom” talk; words to shock • Tests limits • May be bossy, tattle, brag, stretch truth, rough, impatient

11. Summary: Most 2, 3 & 4 year olds • Pay no attention to what they are asked to do • Say no, refuse to do what is expected or asked • Are pokey, waste time eating, dressing, etc. • Wiggle and don’t sit still • Laugh, squeal, jump around • Grab toys, shove, hit, attack others • Refuse to share • Cry, sulk easily • Ask “unnecessary” questions • Seek attention by showing off, look for praise • Tattle and boss others • Speak indistinctly • Are hard to reason with • Refuse food & naps

14. 5 Year-Olds • Affectionate and caring toward others • Enjoys friendships • Understands sharing toys • Takes turns but still may not be willing • Generally follows directions of adults; cooperates with requests • Wants to be “good”, yet unable to admit wrongdoing and does not always tell the truth • Likes to help with chores and feel important • Boasts about accomplishments; likes praise and wants to please • Can sit and pay attention for 15-20 min. • Likes to act like grown-ups, serious, demands

15. 6 Year-Olds • Emotions up and down • Thrives on approval • Possessive with belongings; not yet able to distinguish “mine” & “yours” • Responds negatively at first then cooperates • Has trouble compromising • Difficulty making choices • Likes to help with routines • Wants to learn • Plays best with one friend rather than large group • Needs to be reminded of instructions • Resists punishment • Money and rewards of greater interest

16. 7 Year-Olds • Plays easily with others • Wants to be part of a group • May be self-absorbed, moody, • Becoming more aware of self and others • Sensitive to others’ feelings; may feel others dislike them, are critical or poking fun • Does not listen or take correction well • Dislikes individual praise • Responds well to rewards • Procrastinates, easily distracted, short memory, “tunes out”; loses interest suddenly • Very competitive and does not know how to lose • Lies because of immaturity • Immature sense of ownership • Fights with words • Sifts/sorts information to make sense; growing reasoning ability

17. 8 Year-Olds • More outgoing and self-confident • More self-aware and self-judging; dislikes being teased about shortcomings • Can respond rapidly to instructions • Prefers hint/cue rather than a direct order; responds to glance • Asks for praise; wants time, attention, affection, approval • Tells tales with some truth • Dramatic, impatient, demanding • Likes to argue, compete, criticize • Easily disappointed if people don’t behave as wished • Talks a lot and gossips • Cannot lose gracefully • Behavior improves after brief isolation from a group • Interested in & concerned about possessions • Beginning to think abstractly

18. 9 Year-Olds • Quieter; more self-control; can spend more time alone • Increasingly self-confident, independent, responsible, dependable, cooperative • Likes to please • Likes organized activities; likes to be chosen • Friendships are more solid • Sometimes temperamental • May resist/rebel authority and being told what to do • Great interest in fairness • Group standards more important than parental standards • Demanding /critical of others and self • Self-involved; may not hear when spoken to; may appear absent-minded or indifferent • Shows anger at parents but is loyal to family, friends • Takes criticism or commands better if carefully phrased

19. 10 Year-Olds • Emotionally direct, simple • Less anxious & demanding • More often good-natured; moodiness is short-lived and infrequent • Can show sharp, violent temper • Can be very affectionate and concerned about others

20. 11 & 12 Year-Olds • May grow rapidly; activity, appetite & energy levels increase; some start to mature sexually • May be tired, moody, anxious, and bicker • Can be loud, rude, obnoxious; personal habits and manners take on less importance • Like to take chances and defy rules • Like to argue with adults, yet can be cooperative & friendly • Friends & groups are more important • Opposite sex interests emerge • Tend to avoid complicated tasks

21. Influences on Behavior Individual Differences ***** Why Children Misbehave

22. Temperament • Individual differences • Biological factors • Also consider adult’s traits • Patterns • Easy child • Difficult child • Slow to warm up child Traits of temperament • Activity level • Rhythmicity, regularity • Adaptability to new situations (approach or withdrawal • Adaptability in general • Sensory threshold • Quality of mood • Intensity of reaction, response • Distractability • Persistence, attention span

23. Goodness of Fit • Match between a child’s temperament and the demands of his/her environment (family, school, child care setting) • Demands and expectations of family members and others are compatible with the child’s temperament, abilities, and characteristics • Match/mismatch between a child and parent or caregiver determines harmony between them

24. Special Concerns • Developmental delays – physical, cognitive, socioemotional • Disabilities – physical, learning, cognitive • Brain trauma

25. Why Children Misbehave • Unmet physical needs - tired, hungry, doesn’t feel good • Unmet emotional needs – love, attention, angry, afraid, disappointed, feel inadequate, lack confidence, discouraged, rejected, upset, insecure, bored • Power – testing limits, asserting self & independence, protect themselves, to get what they want, revenge • Changes – routines, new situations • Understanding – lack of knowledge, experience, unclear directions • Imitation – of parents, peers, media • Rewarded- for their misbehavior

26. Why Children Misbehave • Children may not be able to tell us “why” and may not have words to express their feelings. • Behaviors produce a certain reaction from the adult. • To decide why the child is behaving a certain way, identify your feelings first. Then match it with the reason behind the behavior.

27. Bi-directional Child ↔ Parent influence each other’s behavior

28. Influences on Behavior Parenting **** Environment

29. Major Aspects Parenting Behavior Parental Responsiveness Parental Demandingness • Love • Warmth • Nurturance • Discipline • Control

30. Parenting Styles • Authoritarian – autocratic, highly demanding and directive but not responsive. • Authoritative – both demanding and responsive, firm and supportive rather than punitive. • Permissive – indulgent, nondirective, more responsive than demanding. • Unengaged – uninvolved, low responsiveness and low demanding. Baumrind, 1991

32. Effects of Parenting on Child’s Self-Regulation • Parental warmth, high responsiveness, and synchrony → current and later compliance • Warmth, empathy, and supportiveness →later capacity for empathy, negotiation, social competence, and prosocial behavior • Hostile and conflictual interactions →defiance, extreme disobedience, and conduct problems • Children in authoritative families → more competent, socially responsive, and have higher grades than authoritarian or permissive

33. Early Bonds are Beneficial • Infants/toddlers with close, positive, and mutually responsive bond with mother during first 2 years are better able to follow mother’s requests not to do something and control their actions at age 4 than children without parental bond • Such bonds include coordinated routines, mutual cooperation, harmonious communication, and sharing positive emotions and interactions • Reduced need for forceful discipline • Similar findings for father-child link, yet reasons less clear Kochanska, Aksan, Prisco, & Adams (2008)

34. Father Involvement Children with involved dads tend to: be more social handle stress easier have higher cognitive development, IQs longer attention spans be eager to learn have more self-control be confident in their individuality and values develop greater empathy engage in less risky behavior later in childhood & adolescence

35. Other Environmental Factors • Home or child care setting – types of toys, stimulation, crowding, stability, safety, conflict • Peers • Television, media • Culture • Neighborhood and community

36. Discussion & Applications

37. Wrap-upWrap-Up • Questions • Discussion • In-service evaluation • Follow-up • Next Session: Tues. November 17 – Behavior Problems

38. References • Landy, S. (2002). Pathways to competence: Encouraging healthy social and emotional development in young children. Baltimore, MD: Paul H. Brookes Publishing. • Fact sheets, article abstracts, and other resource materials provided separately • Various textbooks and other reference materials